Me Versus The Singing Guy: The Plan ChangesPosted: June 17, 2011
Over the past few months, I have documented the torment inflicted by, and my battle against The Singing Guy in my office. I come to you this time, my friends, to consult you on my next move. I have a bit of strategy in mind to get your input on.
Last year I told you about The Singing Guy, a person at my work place whose quirky singing performances leave others in the office feeling awkward. He developed a pattern of stopping near an unsuspecting person’s desk while they were working and singing to them. Not just singing. Singing, with dancing, and finger snapping. His performances were resistant to my tactics of glaring and snarling at him.
Then, a dry cleaning error revealed a weakness I could exploit. The dry cleaner that drops off and picks up at our office returned his laundry with the addition of another person’s garment. This additional garment was such a distraction to The Singing Guy that he could not sing. I realized at that point that I could use The Singing Guy’s need to be on the cutting edge of fashion to manage his behavior.
So I went to Goodwill and bought a few garments. I slipped a little pair of corduroy pants into The Singing Guy’s dry cleaning. Boom. No singing. It was amazing. Sure, there was whimpering, but that’s easier to take than an a capella version of the Theme From Happy Days.
And So We Arrive At Today
The Singing Guy still sings on rare occasions. The time he used to spend singing, is now filled with talking. Have you ever heard that sharks have to keep swimming or they die? I’ve come to believe that The Singing Guy thinks if he stops talking he will die. I want to use my method of adding something extra into his dry cleaning to help him.
You see, I believe that if I can get him to stop talking and he lives, everyone wins. Especially me, because I am so sick of hearing about his weekend and every damned thing his wife says to him and his politics…and…and…and.
There is a problem. I am beginning to think that he is no longer using the dry cleaning service in the office. I don’t know if he is frustrated with the cleaners or if he’s just getting a better deal somewhere else. I’ve thought about it and I have a plan.
The New Plan
Unless he starts getting dry cleaning deliveries soon, I am going to alter my original plan. Instead of leaving my Goodwill purchases in his laundry,
I am going to start hanging them in his cubicle. The Singing Guy always keeps a hanger on the outside of his cube. I’m going to start periodically hanging the stuff I buy for him on that hanger.
This will have the same effect as the original plan – it will distract him from his usual yammering on about things. This plan has the added benefit of having other people walking by, seeing the cheesy clothes hanging in place of his usual designer stuff, and questioning him about it.
You all have been on board with this thing since the beginning…any ideas on this?