Soy, Diana Ross And The Helicopter To OblivionPosted: August 5, 2011
Soy, it is time we had a talk.
Perhaps I am getting into areas that you feel the need to make your own decisions on. If I am intruding, please accept my apologies. I just couldn’t sit here and watch you make the mistakes you are making without speaking up.
The other day, on a pizza related post that I wrote, I read a comment that read, in part, “…there is no joy in a stiff-as-cardboard gluten free crust with barely melted Vegan (soy) mozzarella”. I asked myself, as I seem to be doing a lot recently, “what is soy doing there?” Cheese is dairy. Soy, you are not dairy. You are not a cheese maker. Yet there you are, passing yourself off as cheese.
Think back to the old days, back when you were simply part of Soy Sauce. Everyone loved you back then. You were just you. You were part of something bigger.
I’m Gonna Make You Love Me
Soy, do you like old Motown music? Weren’t there some great groups and artists on that record label? Marvin Gaye, Martha and The Vandellas, The Four Tops, The Temptations – all produced big hits that are still loved today. The Supremes were a big part of that hit machine too. Let’s talk about the Supremes
The Supremes were a great vocal group that appeared primarily as a trio. Together, the Supremes produced hit after hit : Baby Love, Come See About Me, Stop In The Name Of Love, You Keep Me Hangin’ On. Then one of the women who comprised the group, Diana Ross, took the primary role in the group. The hits kept coming despite the change.
Hmmm…one part of the whole taking a primary role. Sound like anyone you know, Soy? Just like when you took the primary role in Soy Sauce and brought your name to the forefront of that condiment, people still loved the Supremes with Diana Ross in front of the group.
You Can’t Make Us Love You
Things went south when Diana Ross got too big for her britches and decided to leave The Supremes behind. She kept singing. She even had some hits, but her music was never as good as it was with her group. She also branched out into things she wasn’t really good at. Modeling. Acting. Not good.
The Supremes had that great hit “I’m Gonna Make You Love Me”. Try as she might, on her own, Diana Ross couldn’t make us love her.
The last time I saw Diana Ross, she was leaving what I consider the worst Super Bowl half time show that did not have The Black Eyed Peas in it. A helicopter landed as the show ended, she got on board and flew out of the stadium. She smiled as if she was sure the crowd was cheering her performance. I’m pretty sure they were cheering because they knew her departure marked the end of the show.
Soy, the world loves you as part of Soy Sauce. The hit foods that Soy Sauce is part of are too numerous to list. There is no list of delicious soy cheese dishes. Same for soy bacon, soy sausage and soy milk. You are wonderful as part of Soy Sauce. Like Diana Ross without The Supremes, few people can tolerate you without your friends that helped make you and Sauce so successful. You can’t make us love you on your own.
Get out of cheese, get out of everything else. Keep making hits as part of Soy Sauce. Don’t take that helicopter ride to oblivion. It isn’t too late for you yet, Soy. It isn’t too late, but I hear the sound of chopper blades in the distance.