Interview with MothmanPosted: August 25, 2011 Filed under: Foolishness, interview | Tags: comedy, cryptids, cryptozoology, humor, kongamato, legendary creature, Love Boat, postaweek2011, urban legend, White Shadow 27 Comments
Several interns were sitting around the Blurt offices last week. They were obviously lounging around, waiting to go back to school after a busy summer of vacuuming the office and making me smoothies. Their lack of initiative bothered me. No one had a smoothie ready for me.
Fortunately, a request had just come in for me to bring back the interview series. It was just what I needed to shake them up. “Get me an interview with Mothman. If I’m not talking with him by the end of the day you people will never work in this business again.” By 3:30 two of the interns, Four Eyes and No Neck, had a banana smoothie on my desk and Mothman on Skype. I thanked them, shooed them out of my office, then called them back and told them to fire all the other interns. I booted them out again and turned my attention to the interview.
Omawarisan – Mothman, thanks for agreeing to do the interview. I know that you don’t often do this sort of thing. I’ve read that you’re seven feet tall, with red eyes and folding wings. But then one person also said you “weren’t particularly moth like”. How do you explain this?
Mothman – Glad to be here, Omawarisan. I guess when you put the wings aside I am not really much like a moth. People have taken my last name and sort of run with it.
O – Your last name?
M – My full name is Issac Michael Mothman. I was named after Issac the bartender on The Love Boat.
O – Interesting. I’ve got to ask you about some of the physical feats attributed to you. I read that one person said you flew up without flapping your wings. Someone else claimed you chased their car at speeds of over 100 miles per hour.
M – (laughing) I think 100 mph is a little exaggerated. And the flying without flapping thing, that was a jump. I was pretty quick when I was younger and I had some hops too. But that was when I was younger, before I blew my knee out.
O – How’d you hurt your knee?
M – Basketball. I played for the Bulls, way before Jordan. I was driving to the hoop and took a hard foul. I had some reconstructive surgery on my knee but it wasn’t the same. I ended up packing my bag and walking away from the game. The arena seemed so…sooo… empty that day.
O – Mothman, this is so surprising. I’ll admit not knowing what to expect from you, but hearing you were an NBA player was absolutely not a consideration. I’ll bet it was tough leaving that career behind.
M – A little, yeah. But I had my education and I just went to work. I started teaching in an inner city high school and coaching their basketball team.
O – Oh, did you?
M – Yes. The kids were great. They were a pretty diverse bunch. A little rough around the edges. They’d get in trouble a lot, but in the end they’d typically do the right thing. You know the type, right?
O – I think I do. They sound a lot like the kids on the 1970’s TV show The White Shadow.
M – They do? Look, I’m feeling a little accused here. OK, look, my team would sing in the shower together after practice. It was awkward, but hey, they were spirited kids…right?
O – Again, The White Shadow.
M – I, umm… do you want to talk about my scary red eyes?
O – No, I think we’re done. You seem to have some weird psychological transference thing or something going on with this old TV show.
M – Wow. The kids at Carver are going to be so disappointed.
O – You may need some professional help.
M – Yeah, the principal tells me that.
My thanks to Issac Mothman for agreeing to the interview, as disturbing as that was. Special thanks to Dufmanno for suggesting the interview. Look for more posts in the interview series, ideally with legendary creatures who are a bit more stable.
The Interview Series was a regular series here on Blurt until about a year ago when I stopped it for no good reason. I’ll be bringing it back, also for no good reason. The interviews are all with legendary creatures like Chupacabra, Kongamato and Batsquatch. Alright, all except the one with The Coyote That Took Jessica Simpson’s Dog. I had to make an exception for that Coyote. All the previous interviews are available on the Interview Page
For a second, I thought I remembered Mothman playing for the Bulls. Maybe I’m just as delusional as him.
Welcome Jason. Look away from the delusion. Don’t make mothman’s illness your own.
the statue will give me nightmares, thanks a lot
If you were a sculptor, but then again, no, but if you were and you made that, would you tell anyone?
The Mothman always freaked me out: the stories, the movie with Richard Gere…and now this might be the scariest of all.
Oh you want scary? How about richard gere running 100mph? You know he’d have trouble stopping.
The video with the basketball short shorts makes up for the scary mothman statue. Thanks.
But you sort of dug the music, didnt you?
You know it!!!
What might one be celebrating or commemorating with a statue as heinous as that one? Was it a joke? Shouldn’t there be a huge lightbulb above it? That’s my only artistic criticism. That sculpture, juxtaposed with Ted Lance, doing the finger point, is quite a cultural comment on Americans. We are strange.
Poor Ted. His entire life’s work is defined by that one two second clip.
Love the lightbulb idea. They should have done it as a giant mobile so that the Mothman smacked into the lightbulb now and again.
When I was a kid and Close Encounters was in theaters, a TV station in Huntington, West-by-God-Virginia (the state’s full and official name) did a series on local close encounters, they talked about the Mothman, but you’re right. It was just a former basketball player named Isaac Mothman. Point of fact: People usually pronounce his name like he’s a super hero or something. It’s actually pronounced “mothmun.” Not a lot of people know that.
Exactly, people just ran away with the name and everything grew out of that.
Ever since you let me know that Ken Howard is playing Hank Hooper on 30 Rock I keep watching him in every scene thinking they’ve got to give him a line with a White Shadow reference or have a walk on by the guy that played Coolidge….something..anything.
I’ve been trying to get an interview with Mothman for months. You’re interns are quite motivated!
What can I say? The kids really want to make smoothies for me.
I’m not up on the Mothman superstition but I watched the White Shadow when I was at another kid’s house sometimes back-when and loved it. I loved basketball, though, so it’s possible any story about b-ball players would’ve interested me back then.
It sounds like the 100mph claim was said to a cop as defense for why he was driving over the limit!
I used to watch that every week…back in the days of three channels
Speaking of which, these were the days of Love Boat and Fantasy Island, if I’m correct. I never got to watch tv at home but I’d stay over at others’ houses just to watch those shows…I thought they were badass.
Too bad Mothman feels the need to tell tales about his life. Ironic he is shadowing the life of the coach from The White Shadow.
One might thing someone with wings and red eyes would feel more confident about his/herself. I guess fast flying is overrated. Too bad. I hoped to change my pupa ways and become a moth.
Don’t over rate the moth’s life. Spiders always have a web near the lightbulb!
Wow. I’m always learning something when reading your blurts – I love it! Looking forward to more interviews.
I’ll keep them coming!
I obviously live in a cave: never heard of Mothman, “Mothmun,” or The White Shadow. Who are you people, anyway? You all seem strangely nice . . .
Or–did I mean nicely strange?
I’ll take both. I’m going to assign you to remedial White Shadow watching as homework.
I come back from Montreal to see Blurt has gone over to the dark side. Now, posts about legendary characters with strange names and mental issues.
Oma…should we readers be concerned?
Crazy, funny and scary!