An analysis of the Joran Van der Sloot Perp WalkPosted: September 1, 2011
Over a year ago I wrote this analysis of the handling of Joran Van der Sloot’s perp walk. In summary, I thought the Peruvians did some great work here. The news tonight is that Van der Sloot has formally been charged with murder. It seemed a good time to resurrect this post. Enjoy.
In the midst of all the frenzy of Joran Van der Sloot’s latest arrest for murder, there is a group who deserves great praise. While all the attention is focused on the accused, until now, no one has given the Peruvian authorities credit for the best perp walk, ever.
To recognize the greatness of what the Peruvians did with this weasel you really need to consider it in sections and examine each bit of footage. As a public service, I am here to break down the video of this event, moment by moment. First, for your review, the video:
Now, let’s go through it together by the second. I’ll give you start and end points so you can follow along carefully and perhaps add in your own observations. I’m also going to grade the event on a 100 point scale.
00:00 – 00:15 : Joran has arrived in a lovely green jeep vehicle. He is sitting in the back seat, between two police escorts. The police have opened the windows to facilitate photography. It looks like the crowd is delivering words of encouragement of some sort to the murderer Joran.
Ten points off for the weird colored jeep.
00:15 – 00:18 : Joran emerges from the car and flanked by two Inca looking dudes. The presence of Incas is significant. Incas don’t play.
I learned in fourth grade that Incas played basketball on a stone court, with a stone hoop and a stone ball. The losers of the game were killed. This is really important. The crowd knows not to bother the Inca guys. The Incas don’t even wear protective vests, just windbreakers . They put a vest on Joran, but they aren’t really watching the crowd to protect him. I don’t have a problem with that.
I’m adding points back on just because the Incas’ involvement. Come on, Incas! Who else does that? No one! Ten Points added for that.
00:18 – 00:39 : The Incas move Joran to a different car right behind the one they just took him out of. I think this is because they ran out of gas in the green jeep. As a result, I am deducting two points from Peru’s score.
There are a lot of encouraging words and feelings sent his way. This changing of cars is well documented by the press. I’ll point out to you that during this move, no one crosses the Inca guys at all. I think this validates the choice of them as the ones to make this movement. I’m adding two points back on to the score card of the Peruvians. They are back up at 100, a perfect score so far.
00:39 – 00:50 : Incas drive through the crowd. Pedestrians with the right of way? Ha. Incas don’t care. If anyone has a complaint, they can settle it later on the basketball court.
00:50 – 01:04 : As the indoor portion of the event begins we get a glimpse (at the 00:52 mark) of two women dressed as flight attendants, one in a skirt, one in pants. This is part of the Peruvian tradition of showing the accused things he’s probably not going to see for a long time, in this case, women and travel.
Joran enters, escorted in by two guys in suits. I’m taking a ten point major deduction here. All the work to this point has been done without the help of these oily haired suit dudes. Now, when there is credit to be taken, the suits are front and center? I think that is plain wrong.
Note the setting. A table is set up for a panel discussion after the parade ends. Lots of logos on the back drop. Perhaps BP could buy some space on the back drop. The association with something other than themselves, even Van der Sloot, has to be beneficial.
With the ten point deduction, the Peruvian’s score on style points is down to a 90.
01:04 – 01:23 : The suits pick up two SUAT guys on their way into the next room. SUAT guys are there the event that Joran has friends in the crowd who intend to break him out of the fix he is in. He doesn’t seem to have friends, so the SUAT guys are sort of window dressing.
At the beginning of this part, around 01:05, the Flight Attendants are again in prominence. Look, I don’t think much of this clown either, but continually positioning these women so he has to go by them seems a little excessive. I’m deducting two points.
Freezing the video at 01:07 gets one a good look at the “bullet proof vest” they’ve provided Van der Sloot. It isn’t that substantial. In fact, it looks like a vinyl place mat with velcro straps. Well played, boys. A boost of 6 points.
At this point, I have scored this event as a 94. They’ve moved back into an A on their report card.
01:23 – 01:51 (end) : The accused looks as if he has had enough of this foolishness. His escorts start him moving again, past the Flight Attendants again. Minus two points.
At 01:35 they stop again for more pictures and one of the Flight Attendants approaches. I’d probably be inclined to deduct points again, but she is speaking to him. I think she offers some pretzels. I like pretzels so I’m not taking any points off.
I think it is nice that they turn him to make sure everyone gets his good side on this last stop before they take him off to who knows where. Sure, I can concede that he doesn’t really have a good side. I’m just using that as a euphemism for them extending his agony just a few more seconds. For that extension, I am adding 6 points.
Over all, I think the Peruvians did a fine job with this perp walk/press conference/photo-op thing. I’m giving them a score of 98 points.
The thing that really kept them from going for the Nadia Comaneci perfect score was the suits taking over from the Incas when all the dirty work was done. Come on Peru, you’re better than that. Respect the work of the Incas.
- Van der Sloot charged with murder (cnn.com)