An analysis of the Joran Van der Sloot Perp Walk

Mugshot of Joran van der Sloot

Image via Wikipedia

Over a year ago I wrote this analysis of the handling of Joran Van der Sloot’s perp walk. In summary, I thought the Peruvians did some great work here. The news tonight is that Van der Sloot has formally been charged with murder. It seemed a good time to resurrect this post. Enjoy.

In the midst of all the frenzy of Joran Van der Sloot’s latest arrest for murder, there is a group who deserves great praise. While all the attention is focused on the accused, until now, no one has given the Peruvian authorities credit for the best perp walk, ever.

To recognize the greatness of what the Peruvians did with this weasel you really need to consider it in sections and examine each bit of footage. As a public service, I am here to break down the video of this event, moment by moment. First, for your review, the video:

Now, let’s go through it together by the second. I’ll give you start and end points so you can follow along carefully and perhaps add in your own observations. I’m also going to grade the event on a 100 point scale.

00:00 – 00:15 : Joran has arrived in a lovely green jeep vehicle. He is sitting in the back seat, between two police escorts. The police have opened the windows to facilitate photography. It looks like the crowd is delivering words of encouragement of some sort to the murderer Joran.

Ten points off for the weird colored jeep.

00:15 – 00:18 : Joran emerges from the car and flanked by two Inca looking dudes. The presence of Incas is significant. Incas don’t play.

I learned in fourth grade that Incas played basketball on a stone court, with a stone hoop and a stone ball. The losers of the game were killed.  This is really important. The crowd knows not to bother the Inca guys. The Incas don’t even wear protective vests, just windbreakers . They put a vest on Joran, but they aren’t really watching the crowd to protect him. I don’t have a problem with that.

I’m adding  points back on just because the Incas’ involvement. Come on, Incas! Who else does that? No one! Ten Points added for that.

00:18 – 00:39 : The Incas move Joran to a different car right behind the one they just took him out of.  I think this is because they ran out of gas in the green jeep. As a result, I am deducting two points from Peru’s score.

There are a lot of encouraging words and feelings sent his way. This changing of cars is well documented by the press. I’ll point out to you that during this move, no one crosses the Inca guys at all. I think this validates the choice of them as the ones to make this movement. I’m adding two points back on to the score card of the Peruvians. They are back up at 100, a perfect score so far.

00:39 – 00:50 : Incas drive through the crowd. Pedestrians with the right of way? Ha. Incas don’t care. If anyone has a complaint, they can settle it later on the basketball court.

00:50 – 01:04 : As the indoor portion of the event begins we get a glimpse (at the 00:52 mark) of two women dressed as flight attendants, one in a skirt, one in pants. This is part of the Peruvian tradition of showing the accused things he’s probably not going to see for a long time, in this case, women and travel.

Joran enters, escorted in by two guys in suits. I’m taking a ten point major deduction here. All the work to this point has been done without the help of these oily haired suit dudes. Now, when there is credit to be taken, the suits are front and center? I think that is plain wrong.

Note the setting. A table is set up for a panel discussion after the parade ends. Lots of logos on the back drop. Perhaps BP could buy some space on the back drop. The association with something other than themselves, even Van der Sloot, has to be beneficial.

With the ten point deduction, the Peruvian’s score on style points is down to a 90.

01:04 – 01:23 : The suits pick up two SUAT guys on their way into the next room. SUAT guys are there the event that Joran has friends in the crowd who intend to break him out of the fix he is in. He doesn’t seem to have friends, so the SUAT guys are sort of window dressing.

At the beginning of this part, around 01:05, the Flight Attendants are again in prominence. Look, I don’t think much of this clown either, but continually positioning these women so he has to go by them seems a little excessive. I’m deducting two points.

Freezing the video at 01:07 gets one a good look at the “bullet proof vest” they’ve provided Van der Sloot. It isn’t that substantial. In fact, it looks like a vinyl place mat with velcro straps. Well played, boys. A boost of 6 points.

At this point, I have scored this event as a 94. They’ve moved back into an A on their report card.

01:23 – 01:51 (end) : The accused looks as if he has had enough of this foolishness. His escorts start him moving again, past the Flight Attendants again. Minus two points.

At 01:35 they stop again for more pictures and one of the Flight Attendants approaches. I’d probably be inclined to deduct points again, but she is speaking to him. I think she offers some pretzels. I like pretzels so I’m not taking any points off.

I think it is nice that they turn him to make sure everyone gets his good side on this last stop before they take him off to who knows where. Sure, I can concede that he doesn’t really have a good side. I’m just using that as a euphemism for them extending his agony just a few more seconds. For that extension, I am adding 6 points.

Over all, I think the Peruvians did a fine job with this perp walk/press conference/photo-op thing. I’m giving them a score of 98 points.

The thing that really kept them from going for the Nadia Comaneci perfect score was the suits taking over from the Incas when all the dirty work was done. Come on Peru, you’re better than that. Respect the work of the Incas.


29 Comments on “An analysis of the Joran Van der Sloot Perp Walk”

  1. HippieCahier says:

    >>The crowd seems to be delivering words of encouragement of some sort to the murderer Joran.<<

    The Peruvians dispense with the ceremonious use of "alleged"?

    Can't view the video at the moment, but I'm picking up popcorn on the way home. Great trailer.

  2. floridacat says:

    This post rocks! I love you, love your writing, love your style! You are correct, no one messes with the Incas, and because I am so impressed with you as a person and as a writer, I am going to call you INKA, and no one better eff with you. Damn good post!!!!!

  3. Betty says:

    Two things: 1.) Why do they outfit people like this with bullet proof vests? Wouldn’t everyone be better off if he got popped? 2.) Can someone relocate Drew Peterson to Peru so that he can have a proper perp walk? (what’s his status anyway? have his crimes finally caught up with him?)

  4. pattypunker says:

    nothing protecting his head from being shot: 10 points.

    can we get a soundtrack recommendation for when this gets made into a movie?

  5. Amy says:

    That bullet proof vest looks like something you could get out of public bathroom vending machine for a quarter. Gotta love it.

  6. tsanda says:

    stone court, stone ball. ha. classic.

  7. michellefrommadison says:

    Sounds more like Joran just defended himself from her confirmed attack.

    Is it time to start blaming the victim?

    With the death of STEPHANY FLORES RAMIREZ, perhaps it may be time to begin to hold the victims responsible for their own careless, seemingly idiotic choices, and mistakes. While it is important, imo, to not blame the victim of a crime, it is important to recognize how so many “victims” place themselves through a conscience choice into harm’s way that far too many fall prey, with sometimes devastating consequences to themselves.

    In review of the many aspects Ms. Ramirez chose, it may first begin with her recognizing who she was confronted with, a Joran Vander Sloot. Not only did she fail to exit that confrontation immediately even knowing who Joran is, she walked past the reception desk where she could have alerted staff to her perceived possible problem. Not only that, she accompanies Joran to his own room, and seemingly enters his room willingly with no apparent signs of any struggle on her part. Then, once behind a closed door, she is allegedly caught by Joran with her looking up Joran on the internet searching for information about the Natalee Holloway case.

    Now she’s dead and people wonder why? It’s called “proximity.” When people allow themselves to remain in a potentially dangerous situation when they fail to exercise better options than remaining in that potentially dangerous situation, it then, imo, becomes their own fault for anything negative occurring to them if they willingly chose to remain within that potentially dangerous environment; proximity. Perhaps best exemplified that if a house starts on fire and the person willingly chooses to remain inside, but then dies as a result, the blame is that of the victim, and not the fire itself.

    Now, with Joran’s alleged confession on this crime, the people that want and got a confession are typically the same people that have said in the past on blogs, television, and sites on the internet that Joran is a liar and you can’t believe a word he says. Now, these hypocrites are satisfied with the confession and fail to pursue the issue any further since it has an immediate-redemption quality to those not familiar enough with the higher-level studies of Psychology. Plus, the facts reveal that the girl attacked Joran, now it’s a potentially over-reaction to Joran defending himself. Is that a crime in the United States? Not if it occurred in any of the 50 states right now.

    Worse-case scenario for Joran right now appears to be a possible sentence well under ten years for a confession leading to a conviction, and he’ll be out super-soon given the legal/prison systems in Peru.

    Is that true Justice for Stephany? I think not!

    • omawarisan says:

      This is a little beyond the depth I usually cover here Michelle, but…

      I agree that people place themselves in position to be victimized, I can’t fix blame on them. Predators that prey on the mistakes of others are to blame, from my point of view.

      I’d also submit that self defense is typically something which is expected to be reasonable. I haven’t gone into the case for details and this isn’t the sort of site where we’d debate them, but I think if a person is going to claim breaking a persons neck is self defense they’re going to need to be able to show a pretty significant level of threat to their well being.

      Thanks for coming by!

  8. jammer5 says:

    They have him basically with two murders. How many others are out there? This guy’s a serial killer.

    • omawarisan says:

      Oh if he has been doing the kind of work I’ve seen reported, I have no doubt there are more.

      If they connect him to murders in other countries, those people are going to have to work hard to match the Peru perp walk.

  9. This is HI-LARIOUS. I love your in-depth analysis of the perp walk and all the extras.

    My favorite line:

    “At 01:35 they stop again for more pictures and one of the Flight Attendants approaches. I’d probably be inclined to deduct points again, but she is speaking to him. I think she offers some pretzels. I like pretzels so I’m not taking any points off.”

    Great post

  10. Pie says:

    Oma. I didn’t have a clue who this Van Der Sloot was. I’ve just had a quick read on Wikipedia, that well known oracle of the internet.

    He’s not a very nice man is he?

  11. daveshu4 says:

    Very nice depiction of the perp walk. I am glad that he is in custody and should spend the rest of his life behind bars. He obviously can’t control his rage and should be kept from society.

    • omawarisan says:

      Thanks, and welcome Dave!

      I think he is like any other jerk that is violent toward women – he makes a choice and some how only “loses control” with people who can’t/won’t retaliate

  12. linlah says:

    Favorite perp walk of all tiem, the Una Bomber. There was one Marshall on his right that could take you down with his eyes. I could look at that footage over and over again.

    Oh and the UB house went right past my house on its way to court.

  13. Lenore Diane says:

    Not sure how I feel about this… I mean your writing was excellent. No uncertainty with that claim. Still, the cameras – the attention – if it annoys him, then OK – that’s fine. Yet, I think the attention glamorizes it. Makes me sick. Yep, I’m going with that. (But again the writing.. well done!)

  14. KathiD says:

    You really need to do this kind of analysis on television, in place of the drivel we usually get about these things.

    “These things” including perp walks, Presidential elections, earthquakes, hurricanes . . . Well, I could go on and on. And so could you. If only you were on television.

  15. KathiD says:

    P.S. I wonder if the Peruvians share customs with the driver we had in (then) Zaire once. In lieu of slowing for chickens, cattle, dogs, or human beings, he leaned on his horn while speeding on through. If the horn didn’t dissuade a thing from stepping in front of his van, oh well.

  16. […] the original here: An analysis of the Joran Van der Sloot Perp Walk « Blurt Tags: analysis, been-charged, great-work, handling, news-tonight, peruvians, sloot, the-handling, […]

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