I Am On SteroidsPosted: September 28, 2011
I am on steroids.
I’ve been having trouble with my neck and shoulder. I talked to my doctor about it at my physical last week, he took some x-rays and gave me a prescription. No change, they still hurt.
Yesterday, I went back to the doctor. We agreed that I wanted to keep both my neck and shoulder, so I’m going to see a specialist. In the mean time, I am going to be taking steroids for about a week. I thought I ought to warn you about that.
Possible Side Effects On The Blog
I’m only going to be on steroids for about a week, so these potential side effects on the blog and me should be temporary.
Posts here on Blurt might be shorter than usual because steroids tend to stunt growth.
The posts may be quite intense and filled with rage. I apologize in advance for any scalding blasts of words. The steroids are supposed to make me irritable, with delusions and impaired judgment.
Perhaps part of the irritation will be due to me suffering an increased risk of baldness and excessive hair growth at the same time. I expect to look like Yul Brynner in a gorilla costume. I think you’d be a little agitated if that happened to you, so stop judging me.
I may also suffer from delusions. Oh, and grow breasts. Breasts are fine, in their place. I’m not that place, and I’d appreciate it if you would stop looking at me like that. My eyes are up here. Thank you.
On the plus side, my voice may get deeper. Maybe I can get a job in radio. I’ll change my name to Jack Daniels, because it seems to me that every city in the US has to have a DJ named Jack Daniels.
Or none of these things could happen, the inflamed disc in my neck could go down and stop pressing on the nerve that makes my shoulder hurt. If that happens, I could get a good nights sleep and all would be right with the world.
No, they aren’t getting bigger, stop looking. What’s your problem? How hard would it be to listen to me and not stare at my chest for once? Geez.
Does this shirt show too much?
- Gorilla mascot ambushed by guy in banana costume (cbsnews.com)