Reconfiguring Spider-ManPosted: October 5, 2011
Sometimes I think a lot about important things. Sometimes I move on to less critical matters. I was thinking about Spider-Man not long ago. I will leave it to you to assign a level of importance to this thought.
I’ve put some time in to considering how Spider-Man could become more spider-like.
It isn’t a good idea for him to have eight limbs. The cost of having all his clothes custom-made with 4 legs and 4 sleeves would be prohibitive.
Having him use venom, like a real spider would, to turn the innards of captured criminals into a liquid which he would then consume isn’t a good idea. I think that would make him a less likeable character. And can you imagine the legal and ethical considerations of that? What if he drinks the insides out of the wrong guy?
Comics, cartoons and movies show Spider-Man shooting webs from a device on his wrist. This seems very practical. Spider-Man displayed some impressive range and accuracy with this arrangement. While I have never had to try to make a living while wearing spandex, I think range and accuracy would be good things to have if I were ever forced to do so
My Conclusion And Its Effects On The Character
I’ve concluded that if Spider-Man is allowed to continue to exist, he should have to produce webs in a way closer to the way actual spiders do. Spiders produce their silk from spinnerets on the underside lower rear portion of their abdomen. As best I can tell, the underside lower rear portion of the abdomen on a person would be their buttocks.
Spider-Man shooting webs out of the back of his tights brings a new level of difficulties he must overcome in his struggle for justice.
How will he deal with knowing that the people he saves with his webs would be simultaneously grateful for and repulsed by his life saving act? Will there be a trap door in his uniform, or simply a reinforced grommet? Could he be accurate enough to get the job done?
The rest of us have had to win people over in spite of our personal oddities. Why shouldn’t Spider-Man?
Yeah, I know. Silly. Lightweight. It happens.
Since you’re here for this lightweight moment, let me tell you that Blurt has a new address. All the rudeness and intolerance you’ve come to expect here at Blurt is available with a new, easy to remember address – blurtblog.net.
Nothing will change, you can still come here and get a dose of whatever words have to come out of me. Your subscriptions, bookmarks and feeds should still work. The big difference is that when you’re far from home, you can use someones computer, easily find blurtblog.net, and leave a bookmark on their machine.