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The Jolie Pez Project: The Jolie In Key West

The Jolie landed at my house just as I was about to head off on a trip that would include a celebration of my fiftieth birthday. I opened her envelope and she asked if I had a ticket for her. I told her she was welcome to come along if she didn’t stir up trouble. She looked at me and asked “what could go wrong?”

Yeah. So we headed off to the airport with that question ringing in my ear. Later that day, we found ourselves sitting on the runway in Atlanta. Waiting…waiting…waiting. Finally, the pilot explained that we were waiting for the caterers to arrive and stock the plane. The Jolie was thrilled! She started calling out an order. I had to tell her that we weren’t in the section that got to place an order. She was shocked.

Thirty minutes later the caterer arrived. The Jolie stood in the window, screaming at them…

…”thirty minutes late and all I’m getting is peanuts?!?! PEANUTS?!?!?!

But soon, The Jolie was on the ground in The Conch Republic at Key West International Airport.

The Jolie and I headed to Schooner Wharf. Schooner Wharf is one of my favorite bars in the world. It is open air, right on the water and laid back…I don’t need much more than this. The Jolie fought me for me for some of my jerk chicken sandwich. My friends wanted to know who this little jerk was.

I figured The Jolie would start pushing people’s buttons but didn’t anticipate that it would be so soon in the trip. I figured I’d better get her away from people and get her to calm down. I decided to go for a little tour of some island spots that my friends had already seen.

Mile Marker Zero on Route 1 symbolizes the end of the road. Sure, there is more road behind mile zero. Like I said, it is symbolic. The Jolie didn’t want to miss the chance to have her picture taken at Mile Zero.

The Jolie spotted a place near by with a big wall and gates. She climbed up into the letters US that were molded into the wall. “I wonder whose initials these are?”, she asked. I told her that this was President Harry Truman’s Little White House. “You can’t fool me, Harry Truman’s initials aren’t U S”, she said. I didn’t bother even trying to address that.

She climbed up the gate. “Let’s go in and see if he is home!” Once again, I just didn’t bother trying to explain.

We wrapped up the day when my friends and I told her we had backstage passes for a Jim Morris concert. She thought it was a big deal, but she was so wrapped up in herself that she didn’t really notice that we just walked up to the stage.

We started the next day with breakfast at Pepe’s. I am usually a simple breakfast guy, but Pepe’s changes that for me. The Jolie wanted my French Toast with pineapple, mango and blackberries. I had to fight her for it. The blueberry bread was really good too.

One of the really cool things on this trip was meeting a couple who’d bicycled to Key West from Washington State. I really admired them for taking on the challenge. The Jolie just complained that our flight out of Atlanta was half an hour late. They were very kind and took a photo with her anyhow. They posed together at a famous Key West landmark, the marker that designates the Southernmost Point in the continental US.

I took The Jolie to get a Cuban Mix Sandwich at what I consider to be a temple of sandwich making, 5 Brothers Grocery. 5 Brothers takes a little effort to find from the tourist area of Key West, but it is worth it.

The Jolie did not care that I wait all year for a chance to get to 5 Brothers. She went to work on my sandwich.

She got full and passed out. That was fine with me. It was my birthday and I really didn’t want to put up with the hassle of going around with her and worrying what she’d stir up.

The Jolie woke up the next day around lunch time. She called me and wanted to go to lunch at a place called Kelly’s. She was waiting when I arrived. I mentioned how I thought it was interesting that she chose a restaurant owned by another actress. She didn’t know what I was talking about. I told her that Kelly’s was named for Kelly McGillis. The Jolie refused to go in, citing professional rivalry.

She would not be moved by my previous great experiences there, nor that Kelly’s also brews their own top-notch beer. No matter, I just took her to someplace else I had in mind for lunch.

We went to B.O.’s Fish Wagon. B.O.’s is known for having the best fish sandwich on the island. The hidden secret of B.O.’s is the cheeseburger. If you bought a plane ticket, flew to Key West, ate a B.O.’s cheeseburger, then flew out, you would have missed a lot. But you would have gotten your money’s worth.

The Jolie really got into the burger.

The Jolie also went to The Green Parrot Bar and caught a show by Bill Wharton, The Sauce Boss.

Mr. Wharton isn’t there everyday, but The Green Parrot is. You should go to the Parrot if you ever make it to Key West. Also if The Sauce Boss ever comes to your town, you should go see him. He puts on a great blues show while cooking a batch of gumbo for the audience. At the end of the show, everyone gets a bowl of gumbo in exchange for a donation to help Wharton’s Planet Gumbo charity for the homeless.

The next day, Jimmy Buffett played a free concert on Duval Street. The crowd was really thick down on the street, The Jolie said that wasn’t for her. We watched the show from a hotel pool bar to the side of the stage. The Jolie snuck us all into the hotel, Tomb Raider style, and we sat on some fire escape steps. It was a fun show.

On The Jolie’s last day in Key West, the parade for the upcoming powerboat races went down Duval Street.

The next day we drove back up through the Keys to Fort Lauderdale Airport, where we sat waiting for Delta Airlines to find enough crew people to fly our plane to Atlanta. Once we got to Atlanta, we ended up marooned as guests of the airline until the next morning. The Jolie screamed and whined so much I just kept her in my backpack.

Once we got home, The Jolie said that she liked Key West and thought she’d make another stop “out west, like California.”

Stay tuned!

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23 Comments on “The Jolie Pez Project: The Jolie In Key West”

  1. Snoring Dog Studio says:

    I absolutely adore Key West and would be happy to ride along in your backpack the next time you go there. Pleeeezz! How could she not love the place – what’s not to love? Jolie is a bit history challenged, but so am I. Hope you had a marvelous birthday and a refreshing, rejuvenating time off!

    • omawarisan says:

      Everything about that island is just right. I could live there…given the money!

      I did have a great time. It was very refreshing with great people. As I’ve gotten older I have finally realized what true friends look like, they love me for being me. I’ve finally been gifted with those people.

  2. Brooke says:

    I’m so jealous of stowaway Jolie!

  3. jacquelincangro says:

    Just like The Jolie to be unimpressed by Key West, one of the liveliest places in the US! I love Key West. I’ve been a few times and always find something new.
    Looks like you had a very Happy Birthday!

  4. Todd Pack says:

    I always like reading about the Jolie’s adventures, but, HOLY COW, THOSE GUYS PEDDLED FROM WASHINGTON STATE TO KEY WEST?!

    I checked, and that’s a 3,500-mile trip. In a car, it would take 53 hours. They rode bikes from Washington State to Key West and didn’t get killed by a truck or something? That’s awesome!

    So, it’s like the Jolie brings the blog up to 10, but those guys make it go to 11.

    Well played, and happy birthday!

    P.S. Now I’m hungry for a Cuban sandwich. I hope you’re happy.

    • omawarisan says:

      I know! And consider this- one of them said “I’ve got a good idea” and the other one didn’t say ” what?!?!?!?!?!?”

      Did you know that Nigel Tufnel day was last week on 11/11/11? Can’t believe I missed it.

  5. One thing is missing from the pictures that concerns me…birthday cake. Did you have one? Did The Jolie eat all of it?

    They biked from Washington to FL? That’s insane! How long does that take? A year?

    • omawarisan says:

      I’m not sure. I think they said they were nine when they started the trip.

      Seriously though, they were very nice. How often does a fifty year old man walk up to someone and ask them to pose with his action figure? They did it and then asked what was going on. I am going to email them now that the pic is up.

  6. I knew Jimmy Buffett would be involved in this story somewhere. It would have been incomplete without. Kudos for managing to keep the Jolie sober for most of this trip.

    • omawarisan says:

      And he played all old stuff, not the songs you know by heart. That was cool.

      It really helped that she didn’t have money on her. She did keep hitting on people to try to get free drinks.

  7. Debbie says:

    Yummy-looking breakfast — good job winning that fight with The Jolie for it! And I’m with thoughtsappear above, What happened to your B-day cake?? I half expected to see a photo of your stowaway with a face full of frosting!

  8. Spectra says:

    I need to get to Key West soon…some friends and I were discussing plans, and I will use this post as a guide. I will go to absolutely every spot recomended!

    I am thinking, it must’ve taken at least 9 months to bike from Washington to Key West…don’t those folks have jobs???

    Happy Birthday, Oma!

  9. Amy says:

    That Jolie is none too bright, isn’t she.

    I’ve always wanted to go to Key West. If I do, I’ll be sure to find this post so I know I’ll hit all the “must see” spots. Especially that place with the cheeseburger. I had to restrain myself from licking my screen.

    • omawarisan says:

      Amy, that cheeseburger is a religious experience. BO’s looks like a shack, but go anyhow.

      Like I said above,, if you go, get in touh with me. There are a ton more places to go on that island.

      The Jolie is a bit dense. You’ll see.

  10. Blogdramedy says:

    Now you know how The Jolie behaves when she’s off on one of her “adventures.”

    I’m surprised you haven’t been sued.

  11. Betty says:

    I’m really hungry now. Happy Birthday Omawarisan!

  12. spencercourt says:

    Damn…I shoulda thought to invite The Jolie to drive the California coast with us but we leave next Wednesday….


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