Five Routine Minutes: Five Minutes I Wish My Boss Didn’t Spend Shopping For Art.Posted: November 16, 2011
I used to walk past the worst painting in the world on my way to my morning roll call meeting. My old boss hung the painting just outside the meeting room. I know he intended it to be inspirational. It wasn’t.
At least once a week, I would open the meeting with a reference to that awful painting.
Some mornings, the people I supervise would hear me coming and yell to me to remind me not to look at the painting.
The day after that boss transferred to another assignment, there was a buzz in the office before the meeting. Then, it got quiet. Quiet in my office means someone is up to something. It did this time.
I’d threatened to get that painting off the wall as soon as the boss was gone. They beat me to it. But they propped it up facing my chair, so I had to do the meeting with the painting right in front of me. We all had a great laugh.
I put the painting aside. I was off for a few days. When I came back, the painting was on my desk in place of my computer monitor. Next, it turned up in the back of the meeting room. Everyone but me faces the front of the room, it was placed so only I could see it.
Every time the painting has reappeared, I’ve taken it down and put it aside. They’ve found it each time and put it back up where I can see it.
Now, it is gone. I haven’t been able to find it in weeks. I am pretty sure it has found its way into someone’s garage. That isn’t to say I’m not going to see it again. I’ve gotten hints about when I might see that awful thing again – at my retirement party.
If they give me that monstrosity I will unretire for a day.
I know that some of you will wonder what the worst painting ever looks like. I will show you, but I want to warn you – it is crushingly depressing and depicts a member of my occupation being born aloft by an angel. I tried to warn you. Here it is, the first picture on this page.