If I Had The Key To The CityPosted: February 7, 2012
Today, New York City is celebrating the New York Giants with a parade. According to ESPN, the team will receive the key to the city at the end of the parade.
The idea of the key to the city has interested me since I was a kid. How much fun could you unlock with that key?
I’d have to let myself in to so many places.
Imagine being able to let yourself in to a museum after closing time. No crowds, no need to stay quiet. You could laugh and make fun of the cavemen in the wooly mammoth exhibit. Going right to the front for all the cool stuff would be no problem…because there would be no back!
I would let myself in to watch all my favorite sports teams practice. Sure, the coach might object. Practice isn’t usually open to fans. Not all fans would have the key to the city. I’d dismiss the coach with a wave of my key chain. What’s he going to say, that I am not allowed?
Clearly, I would be allowed. Not just allowed, encouraged.
Yes, encouraged. Encouraged to take advantage of my ability to walk in on concert rehearsals and sound checks. Step aside security guy, I’ve got the key and I’m going to watch Bruce.
I thought a little about how I might use the key to let myself in to restaurants. I decided that it doesn’t make sense for me to do that. The art of good food doesn’t lie in the place, it is more in the skill of the chefs. I don’t suppose that the key to a city would allow me to wake a chef to make some chicken for me, would it?
Waking a chef does bring the ethical portion of the city key idea to mind. I’d be certain to assure any city who gave me a key that I would not go into any residences. A lot of crazy stuff goes on in other people’s houses that I don’t want to see.
People likely don’t want to see me just walking into their houses either. For most folks it really isn’t about me, but uninvited people in general, so I’m not going to let it upset me.
I have so many ideas about how the key to a city could be used. I could write a book about the adventure. I would make a few bucks and the city that gave me the key would get a bump in their tourism numbers from all six people who would read my book.
If any mayors are reading this (I’m looking at you Mayor Bloomberg) please get in touch. I’ve got space on my key ring and I can help your city. I’m assuming these keys come with alarm codes, right?
- New York Giants Parade 2012: Big Blue Returns Glory to Broadway (bleacherreport.com)