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Waiting For Chivalry To Grab Him By The Ear

English: J.W. Sexton High School, Exterior Scu...

Chivalry. Not dead. Not well (Image via Wikipedia)

You know those kids in your neighborhood that you don’t know? The ones you see as you pass by their house, but you don’t know them or their families. This is about one of them, in my neighborhood.

And it’s about me.

And chivalry, which seems to be lying in a gutter somewhere, hoping someone will call an ambulance.

So What’s It All About?

Now, this kid I’ll talk about is sixteen, he’s just started driving. He has a white, sporty looking car that’s about ten years old. It is his latest obsession. Before the car, there was the motocross bike. Before that, there was baseball.

He works on the car a lot. The car has some fancy wheels on it. He’s also added a high dollar muffler, because you’ve got to be muffled in the most awesome way possible.

He has a sticker on the car.

I’m going to reach all sorts of conclusions about the kid because of that sticker. Why? Because I am an old coot.

The Part Where I Establish My Credibility As An Old Coot

We’ll return to the kid in a few moments. First, let’s go back a long time ago and visit sixteen year old me.

Sixteen year old me was about the same thing most sixteen year old boys are. There were two main groups of people who knew that was what I was about. One group was my parents. The other, the parents of the girls I dated.

Before I started dating, my parents made it clear to me that it would not be a good idea for me to do anything that would lead to them getting an angry phone call from anyone’s father. It was also established that I would be respectful to the girl and her parents in every way possible. I would go to the door, meet the parents and I would return my date to that door when her parents expected her.

When I arrived at a girl’s house, I always would have my little meeting with her dad. He would establish, typically without actually issuing a threat, what my fate might be if his daughter returned late or in any sort of rumpled condition.

A Lot Of Effort, To Change Very Little

Despite my parents’ efforts and the most menacing behavior possible by girlfriends’ dads, I remained all about what sixteen year old boys are about. I was polite. I was timely. Moms loved me. Dads tolerated me. But we all knew why I was there.

What these adults established in me was a sense of the respect I should afford women. I did not go to girl’s homes and blow my car horn for them to come out. I opened doors. I learned from all those parents, as well as mine, about being a gentleman.

But you can’t change teenaged hormones.

Come Back When You’ve Got Your Head Right, Son

On the back of the car driven by the kid around the corner is a sticker. It says pantydropper. Yes, pantydropper. One word.

Like this... (image via sharetv.org)

This rubs me the wrong way. It is beyond me that this kid’s dad allows that. Are all women a set of droppable panties? Apparently this young man thinks so, and that he is somehow blessed with the ability to make panties fall. Why isn’t his dad pointing out that his mom is a woman, as is his sister? An opportunity to establish him as someone who respects women is slipping away.

You can’t change teenaged hormones. You can raise a gentleman.

Chivalry isn’t looking so strong. I’m hoping it regains its health and comes back as the father of a sixteen year old girl. It’s time for someone to grab old Pantydropper by the ear and run him out the front door.

It’s going to be a rude awakening.

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36 Comments on “Waiting For Chivalry To Grab Him By The Ear”

  1. Snoring Dog Studio says:

    Yes! You said it! Where is this kid’s parents? Do they applaud the virility of their young, lusty child? Do they promote this kind of objectifying of the opposite sex? Seriously. This is awful. I suspect Romeo has attracted the wrong kind of girls, though. The kind that love coming home rumpled.

  2. AiXeLsyD13 says:

    Ha! Reading this, I totally thought it was going to lead up to a Shocker sticker. I’ve never seen “pantrydropper”, but oh my that’s hilarious. I would assume that such a sticker would be a girl-repellant… but then again teenage girls don’t always make the best decisions.

    I laugh in general at the car-fiddlers with the “duck fart” exhausts and one of everything from the floor-mat/antenna-ball aisle at Walmart.

    I can see what you mean about the sticker. I’m only (only?) 35, but I was always as polite as possible to a girl’s parents. I can only remember dating one girl who’s parents absolutely hated me… actually, her dad liked me, I think her mom was just crazy & super conservative. I don’t think she liked the skulls on my T-shirts.

    I always tried to prove that a person’s actions dictate their personality, not their clothes/look. Then again, I never wore a “pantydropper” T-shirt.

    You should help him out by adding a shocker sticker, and some truck balls. Does he wear a wife-beater? Maybe he needs to complete the look.

  3. At least he’s done girls the favor of warning them not to get into his car.

  4. 16-year-old me knew that any guy with “pantydropper” on his car was not a guy I should date. But…I was pretty mature for my age.

  5. We Found Him Captain! says:

    He probably wears panties…. A real man would not be so demeaning. The boy must think he’s impressing everyone when, in realiity his brain is shorting out. His parents probably concieved him by mistake and are too stupid to notice his lack of maturity.

  6. We Found Him Captain! says:

    I meant conceived…..

    • omawarisan says:

      And there’s no trick on dropping your own panties. I mean, I suppose!

      Thought about what would have happened if I had that sticker on my car. Don’t think it would have been on there long.

  7. My father was blind. He still would have sensed the “pantydropper” sticker and that guy would’ve never made it to the front door.

  8. anonymous for this one says:

    My Mom would have gone out with that guy. She gave birth to her first child at age 18 but she did talk my dad into marrying her four months before the birth. That was more than 60 years ago so this behavior is not new. My parents split when I was 15. Mom, of course, never gave me a curfew so I only had to go home when the guy needed to bring me there to meet his own curfew. What a role model! I’m still astounded that I turned out to be a “good” girl.

  9. Katybeth says:

    We are in the process of car buying. There will be no pantydropper stickers. There will be no horns. I am women, I am mother, the ultimate keeper of keys.

  10. Debbie says:

    Count me there with Katybeth. No such sticker or attitude from Domer. If parents expect nothing from their sons, that’s just what they’ll get!

    • omawarisan says:

      And if it’s ok to look at their dates/wife without respect, what does this imply for our granddaughters, who will obviously come down the road a piece, when were still young enough to enjoy them and the boys are old enough to know what a big deal having them is.

  11. Jackie Cangro says:

    Is it possible that this kid has a used car and the sticker belonged to the previous owner?

    (I know that’s a loooong shot, but here’s hoping.)

  12. His rude awakening will come when he realizes that every female in the world despises the word “panty.” He will find HIMSELF dropped like a hot-potato. Or some panties.

  13. My guess is that the parents of the kid think the bumper sticker is “cute.” When we talked to a neighbor about their 16 year olds habit of roaring his mufflerless rap song with the bass on maximum junker up and down the street we got the “boys will be boys,” lecture and were given the impression that interfering with this necessary part of deferred adulthood would have adverse consequences for the little angel.

  14. Ew. That’s as bad as that gynecologist t-shirt. Blech.

  15. weid0089 says:

    I just spent the last half hour scraping off my bumper sticker… it read “boxer-briefdropper”… I am sorry for all of those I offended!

  16. Lenore Diane says:

    This kind of thing infuriates me. It is wrong to judge someone by the color of their skin, but right or wrong – I find I judge someone on what stickers exist on their car.
    You live in Nascar country … how many Calvin decals do you see… you know, Calvin urinating on whatever the person hates. I find those repulsive and disrespectful.

  17. Todd Pack says:

    I guess they were out of “NO FEAR” decals. Seriously, that’s so stupid and offensive that it’s funny. Hey, maybe that’s it. Maybe he’s being ironic!

  18. I asked my husband what he’d do the first time Eddie Haskell showed up at the door for a date with our daughter. And he said he’d deck him, first thing. Because he knows what he’s thinking.

    We don’t have kids. Many people are happy about that.

  19. Betty says:

    Classy. Just think of the type of girl he’ll attract with that…..and the type of children they’ll raise. (I don’t know what I’d do without Urban Dictionary. I find it necessary to consult on a weekly basis to keep up with my young co-workers.)

  20. Brooke says:

    Um… I try not have expectations of the bloggers I follow religiously because I do appreciate an abrupt guffaw, but sir… I totally did not expect you to ever use the term “pantydropper” in your forum. I’m surprised. Albeit, wearing a sheepish grin picturing your sound it out as you type it. Also, that kid is a boorish tool and his parents are slow-witted asshats for allowing it.

    • omawarisan says:

      And that us the last time I will ever say it unless my son loses touch with reality and buys one of those stickers. At that point I will reference it, and say something that he will still be talking about when my grandchildren are driving.

  21. Shudder… that’s foul, misogynistic and bad parenting. I’m not a parent, but I am someone’s daughter and anything close to that would not be tolerated in my parents’ house! Bleh. Would love to hear if/when he gets his comeuppance.

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