The Policies Of My Administration: The Double Quarter Pounder With CheesePosted: March 14, 2012
Friends, we all know that my administration will focus on two things: fixing things that bother me, and taking on the issues other rulers have not taken on. Now that I think about it, those two things overlap. That means that my administration is about 2 1/2 things.Wait, not 2 1/2. Make it 1 1/2.
My administration is about somewhere between 1 1/2 and 2 1/2 things. I’ll get my best people on figuring that out and get right back to you on it. My problem with fractions brings me to the subject of this policy: The McDonald’s Double Quarter Pounder With Cheese.
Even I Know Something Is Wrong There
I have an issue with this sandwich. It doesn’t bother me that it has enough beef related unpleasantness to clog an artery the size of a water main. I just opt out of eating it.
My problem isn’t with the nutritional value of the sandwich. The name of the sandwich is the issue.
Despite my demonstrated lack of ability with fractions, there is one thing about fractions I am sure of. One quarter, plus one quarter equals one half – not a double quarter. One half. The burger is one half of one pound (pre-cooked weight) of meat. To be sure, that half pound is in two quarters, but serving them together in the same bun makes them one unit – a half pound unit.
4/4ths Of My Policy
My administration will correct the error McDonald’s has pushed on the public with their poorly named sandwich. The chain will have a choice. They can…
…add an advertising slogan (that I have created for them) to their marketing for the sandwich in question. The slogan will be “The sandwich for people who aren’t so good with fractions.”
… change the name of the sandwich to The Half Pounder.
This is a reasonable policy, with some flexibility for the corporation to use some discretion on how to correct the problem they created.
While I’m At It
The clown, Ronald. He has to go. He is the creepiest clown since John Wayne Gacy.
Sure, he hasn’t killed anyone.
Wait, maybe he has.
Has anyone seen Grimace recently?
What about Mayor McCheese?