The Policies Of My Administration: Carpools

My staff is hard at work, preparing policies that will be put in place when I come to power. The Omawarisan administration will usher in an era of common sense and consideration for others.

Upon my passing, historians will compare my reign to all the other people who’ve ruled the world. They will say things like “this was a man”. They will also say things like “of all the incognito emperors of the world, Omawarisan was certainly one of them”.

Perhaps I need to get the staff involved in finding better historians.

So Yeah, Carpools

My administration will be very much in favor of carpooling. It is economical, environmentally friendly and reduces traffic congestion.

carpool lane

And, you get your own lane! (Photo credit: ApollineR)

I’ve also decided that carpooling helps people be productive. I don’t have anything to back that up, I just decided that it is the truth. It just seems to me that someone who spends their commute with someone they like is going to be in a better frame of mind than someone who travels alone, listening to some clown ranting on AM radio.

So, I’ll make sure my administration does everything possible to facilitate environmentally friendly transportation, including carpools. Unfortunately, there is always someone who has to ruin things for everyone else. I know this is true, because the nun that taught me in first grade told me. I think she had a tattoo that said that. If she couldn’t find one of us to prove she was correct in her belief, she was fully capable of ruining things on her own.

Maybe I need a nun policy. Maybe later. In this case, the someones who ruin carpooling for everyone else are couples who ride to work together. Their lack of consideration of their fellow motorists will not be tolerated by my administration.

Read And Heed

When I take over, couples who ride to work together will have to follow a few simple rules or face consequences:

  1. Decide who will be dropped off first. That person should not be driving. It will no longer be acceptable to block traffic, get out of the drivers seat, gather your things and walk into your office while everyone else waits behind your car for your spouse to get out, walk around, get in the front seat, adjust the mirrors, and drive away.
  2. Those being dropped off should be ready to get out of the car. You know where you work. No one should have to wait behind you in traffic while you gather coats, briefcases, lunches, purses and laptops.
  3. Have your little goodbye scene before you stop in traffic in front of your drop off point. You love each other, we get that. We’ll all be happier about your abiding bond if you’ll just hurry up and get out of the car so the rest of us can get on with our lives.

My staff is working on how these rules will be enforced, and what penalties violators will face. A big part of me is inclined to say we will just take people’s cars. But it is really tempting to say that people should be allowed to crash into cars of inconsiderate car pool couples.

Today is Monday. If you sat in traffic behind inconsiderate carpoolers, relief is coming.

The Blurt Blog Press Conference for 2012 is going to start this Friday, March 30. Get your questions ready! If you missed last years presser, here is the link to the 2011 edition. The sky is the limit on the questions.


17 Comments on “The Policies Of My Administration: Carpools”

  1. Lenore Diane says:

    We’re on top of your policies, Oma. When the boys are dropped off at school, we barely slow the car down. The seat belt is unbuckled the instant we enter the school, bags are grabbed and placed in the lap of a child – the door is opened – and PLOP. Out the kid goes.

    Okay fine, we do allow the car to come to a complete stop, but the drop off is quick, I assure you. (Perhaps because the boys are anxious to get out of the car and get away from me nagging.)

  2. Debbie says:

    Boy, are you onto something! Being one of the self-employed types, I don’t have to carpool, nor do I have to endure other carpoolers. However, frequently I haul my mom around to her errands, and she’s a BIG violator of Rule #2. I never understand how she can dawdle with purse, water bottle, tissues, etc. while there’s a string of angry drivers behind us!

  3. Katybeth says:

    Cole was so afraid of keeping someone waiting behind us that I had to insist that he wait until I stopped the car before he jumped out. As for carpooling with “other people” it would cut into my phone time so I would rather not….


  4. Linda Sand says:

    Where I get into trouble is when my spouse decides at the last moment to drop me at the door instead of parking and walking in together. With no warning, I’m expected to have everything gathered and ready? Since I walk with a cane, i can’t change my sunglasses while walking so I have to change them then get my cane and my bag and me out the door without falling over or dropping anything. No easy task let me tell you. But with sufficient warning I can do it. It’s that last minute bit that gets me.

  5. A great start. But we also need policies for in-car behavior. Especially on Monday mornings.

  6. I have my question ready. It concerns some foods I dislike. You probably know which ones.

  7. I hope the enforcement squad consists of tattoo’ed nuns. Please.

  8. […] The Policies Of My Administration: Carpools ( […]

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