A Car With Four Temporary Spare Tires

It is elusive prey. Something you don’t run across every day. Against all common sense, it is elusive because of its lack of speed. It is…the car with four temporary spare tires.

Back in the time that we’ll call forever ago, cars came with four tires and a spare tire. This fifth tire was the same as the others, it just lived in the trunk until we needed it.

Русский: Докатка на побывавшей в аварии машине...

Like this, times four (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Now cars come with an emergency spare tire. It is smaller and designed to allow the vehicle to be moved short distances. The smaller tire saves weight and space while allowing us to get the car to a repair shop.

Until today, I thought I would never see a car with four of these tires. Wrong. Today, I saw that elusive vehicle.

Slow, Yet Impractical

Why would anyone do this? No car has more than one of these tires as standard equipment. You’d have to go around borrowing them from friends who feel confident they will not get a flat. This seems to be a lot more work than just going to buy new tires.

Then there is the speed factor. You’re not supposed to exceed fifty miles per hour with one of these tires on your car. If that is the case, it follows that for each one of these tires put on the same car, you must drive proportionately slower.

So, if you have two little spares you’ve got to drive twice as slow. The driver of the car with four little spares has to drive four times as slow. This little word problem – exactly what four times as slow means – is the key to why seeing a car with four spares is so rare.

We have to slow down to fifty miles per hour from whatever speed we were driving before we put the little spare on. But we don’t know how fast you or I were driving, so the math gets really challenging.

Here Is Why You Should Never Put Four Spares On Your Car

If you divide “I don’t know how fast” by four, you get a speed that is infinitely slow. This speed is so slow that the car goes backward. Backward in time. Back, back, back until it reaches the point in time when the car did not exist.

At that point, your car which before was just broken down, now never existed. With no car, you’ll have to walk everywhere because you were too lazy to go buy new tires.

Serves you right.

I mean, assuming you are the hypothetical person who put four spares on your car, which you aren’t. Hypothetical people don’t read.


28 Comments on “A Car With Four Temporary Spare Tires”

  1. Todd Pack says:

    1) I miss full-sized spares. 2) “Temporary” spares are a bad idea, because if you’re on the interstate, you might need to drive pretty far to find a tire shop (or a Walmart), and driving too slow on the interstate can be almost as dangerous as driving too fast. 3) Seems like you’d really have to go out of your way to wind up with four temporary tires.

  2. mikegee64 says:

    There is so much to be explored here…

    First of all, I’m Oma’s brother and I recently mentioned in my blog that I once had someone working for me who had a car equipped with 4 temporary spare tires. The very next day, Oma himself saw one (same guy maybe? I don’t think so, it was 10 years ago that I saw mine. But stranger things have happened in this world and I would not be surprised if it was the same guy, getting a decade out of those spares.

    But this also implies some strange occurance where my mentioning it caused Oma to see it. I would very much like to think that I have this power over him, or let’s face it, matter itself.

    So, I am hearby mentioning three things to test out this theory. If I do indeed have this power, Oma will see the following in the next couple of days.

    1. A pickup truck with an airbrushed picture of Jesus on the tailgate
    2. Someone walking in the downtown area with a fishing pole
    3. A sign that reads “Free Boots!”
    Extra Credit: A pregnant chimpanzee.

  3. AiXeLsyD13 says:

    Heh. We used to call those spare tires “donuts” for some reason. The driver of the for donuts car is indeed nuts.

  4. Lenore Diane says:

    Until recently, I kept a full-sized tire in my trunk. In fact, whenever I bought new tires, I’d keep the best ‘used’ tire as the spare.
    The car you saw… was it moving? I hope they get new tires sooner rather than later.

    • omawarisan says:

      No, it was parked. I’d have been hard pressed to avoid stopping them and just asking what they were doing if the car was moving.

      Ok, I wouldn’t, but I would want to so badly.

  5. My Odd Family says:

    Well I drove around with two for awhile…it’s a long story. In my defense I was balanced–one on the front and one on the back. But your right it’s just not worth it…The ride was bouncy and my speed was slow especially since I made a promise not to enter the “on ramp” to the freeway. Much better to just buy the tires. Have to admit it’s not all that hard to borrow one or two tho…just sayin….

  6. mikegee64 says:

    To end up with 4 temporary spares on your car, you have to have 3 increasingly stupid, trusting and gullible friends, and you have to use them in the proper order.

    I can understand the first guy loaning you a spare. You’ve had some bad luck. You got a flat and before you could replace it you got another flat. Soon you will replace them both and return the spare to the owner.

    Now the second guy, what is he thinking? The implication now is that you have no intention of buying tires until you absolutely have to. You are asking this guy to make a real committment here. “Loan me your spare tire until my fourth tire blows out? I have no way of knowing when that will happen. I’m thinking it will be soon, but you never know. This is an open-ended loan.” Of course the first guy now realizes it will be ages before he gets HIS spare back.

    Finally, the fourth tire blows out and you have to go to your third friend, the stupidest of the lot. At this point you are going “all in” on spare tires and accepting them as the new format of tires on your car. You are not asking him to “borrow” anything, you are asking him to GIVE you his spare. As the second friend is starting to suspect that he might not get his tire back, and the first one always seems to be saying horrible things about you, your mother, and even the horse you rode in on.

    But you don’t care, because now you have a cool car with 4 matching tires.

  7. Debbie says:

    The last time I went car-shopping, I learned that some new cars don’t come with a spare at all! Nope, they have a handy-dandy tire-fixer-upper loaded into the trunk, something which requires you the owner to use to fill the damaged tire and limp into a service outlet for real repairs. Yeah, that’s what they told me. Who’d’a thought?

  8. Have you factored into your equation the likelihood that someone who runs on four spares isn’t likely to observe speed rules?

  9. Sounds like a great idea when my daughter starts driving! “If you go faster than 30 mph, the tires will explode, and you’ll DIE!”

  10. Linda Sand says:

    The ultimate in bargain shopping–go to the junkyard (do they still call them that?) and get four “spare” tires.

  11. spencercourt says:

    My solution is, when buying new tires, to keep one of the full size tires as “spare.” Yes, it takes more room in the trunk, but I travel light.

  12. The Jagged Man says:

    Were the spares all the color? Did they match the base color of the car? Maybe they thought they were accessorizing. Oh how about if they would just add one of those Indy Race Car spoilers they would be set. Set for what I am not sure but it makes as much sense as riding around on four spares.
    Maybe they could go back in time at record speeds and stop theirs selves before hand…….

  13. We Found Him Captain! says:

    I’m gonna put 4donuts on my car and go back in time to when I was 17. (It was a very good year). Oh Boy! I feel a song coming on. Just think, a 41 Chevy with 4 donuts for tires. It’s the cat’s meow!

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