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Five Routine Minutes: I Get A Retirement Date

About a week and a half ago, I told the people that I supervise about an appointment I had after work.

They were very happy for me.

I’ve been looking forward to this event. I’d leave the meeting knowing the day I would restart my life in a new direction.

As I left my office, something unexpected happened. I got emotional.

It was as if I was leaving for the last time. I had to do something to maintain my image. So I put my sunglasses on and snarled at a rookie who happened to be walking in the same door I was stepping out of.

Poor kid still doesn’t know what he did to earn that. Maybe I’ll tell him that he can pay it forward in thirty years.

I went to HR and met an administrator that I told you about not long ago. I’ve got a lot of confidence in her. She did not disappoint. She opened with exactly what I wanted to know – when I was going to retire.

Two days before my 52nd birthday!

There were numbers on spread sheets and lots of forms that I’ve never seen. Each one had my name on it. The Human Resources woman patiently explained all the parts that were new to me. That amounted to everything on the paperwork, except my name.

It was a scary and exciting meeting.

On November 1, 2013, an e-mail will go out. It will tell everyone who still works there that I’m gone. It won’t say that I miss them, and it won’t tell them that I’m happy. Both of those things will be true.

My career has been tough. I’m way too old to be doing it. The competition never gets older. But in the not so distant future…

Anyone have a job suggestion (besides “get one”)for a middle-aged man with a very specialized skill set?

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35 Comments on “Five Routine Minutes: I Get A Retirement Date”

  1. Anonymous says:

    You lucky man!

  2. Wendi says:

    Perhaps you and The Jolie could start a consulting firm. With your skills and her moves, it could be bad ass. I’m just saying…..

  3. Betty says:

    The first thing you should do is just take some time to be a blurting man of leisure.

  4. Lenore Diane says:

    I thought you were retiring this year. Why did I think that?

    I think you should contact the Lego film app folks and see about getting a job making short films. You could take your current skills and do various public service announcements.

    P.S. We’ll be driving through the great state of NC on the 26th. Taking 85 t0 77 to 81. The views on 77 and 81 are incredible.

    • omawarisan says:

      Maybe it was like the line in the old Dire Straits song, Romeo and Juliet, “I dream your dream for you, so now your dream is real”. Except it did not work. A little more than a year. I can do that standing on my head.

      You’re coming right thru Charlotte! Shoot me a note if your itinerary can include a coffee stop or something so I can say hi to you and the family!

  5. Anything but reality tv. Look what it’s done to Bruce Jenner.

  6. Congratulations! So happy for you!

  7. Debbie says:

    November is a long way off, and there’s plenty on your plate right now. One nice thing about working for yourself is not having a forced retirement. Of course, I don’t get a gold watch or a pension, either. My advice? Focus on the work before you while it’s before you (remember, you said it could be dangerous, and you don’t want to become a statistic); then, plan a trip or something fun to celebrate the Retirement Day, then look over your options. Perhaps you might write a book? Volunteer? Run for office? Fifty-two, so I’ve heard, isn’t as “old” as it once was!

  8. Linda Sand says:

    Congratulations on having a date. Now, the trick is to stay safe between now and then. Don’t get short-timers disease, please.

    My best friend is a deputy who qualified for and took retirement in his mid-50s. Like you he had no clue what he should do next. He discovered he had plenty to do maintaining his land, participating in his hobby, doing volunteer stuff, and just generally being available to help friends and family. It took him awhile to realize he could actually afford to do that, though. You might want to run your numbers. You could be pleasantly surprised.

    • omawarisan says:

      No short timers disease, I will finish strong and walk out with a smile.

      I think I will find a lot of time I never knew existed. I havent had weekends or holidays off since 1985.

      I am going to enjoy myself. And I’m growing my beard back.

  9. Congratulations! No suggestions here, just keep doing what you’re doing in the creative sphere–with more time who knows what might come out of it!

    PS–Thanks for the new phrase “Make a hole!” I’m going to use it a lot.

    • omawarisan says:

      Thank you! This creative thing has been such a revelation to me. Maybe I really can do something with it!

      Make a hole clears a path whenever I use it. It is perfect for when you’ve got your hands full and a lot of people standing watching you carry the load.

      If you like “make a hole”, you’ll love “a-holes and elbows”

      • Yes! I worked in a yarn dyeing factory for a couple of summers when I went to school and we had an old boss who we called “Sarge” because he’d been in the marines and he greatly increased my vocabulary. One of his favorites when exhorting us to work harder was “All I want to see is a-holes and elbows.” He was an interesting character. His world consisted of two kinds of people–“strak troopers” and “a wipes.” And rattlesnakes. He never went to the bathroom. It was always the “latrine.”

  10. hrhardball says:

    Easy, you’re obviously an illustrator/artist/anime genius!

  11. robincoyle says:

    Duh . . . writing. Duh.

  12. Snoring Dog Studio says:

    Write, OMA, write! You have a gift. You need to share it with a wider audience. Congrats, dear man. I hope that I’m a couple of years away from the big day, myself.

    • omawarisan says:

      Thank you! Writing is what I would love to do. I’ve got to find my arena. I don’t see me as a novel guy.

      The last few years as you approach retiring accelerate. I expect to be laughing and crying as I leave the gate for the last time next year, which is going to seem like 15 minutes from now.

  13. Whoa…you set the date. =)

  14. spencercourt says:

    Good for you!

    I’ll beat you by at least one month. My date is Sept 19, 2013, 3 days before my wife’s 63rd birthday and about a month before my 62nd.

    I could leave earlier by burning vacation time quickly, but I’ve decided to ‘fade out” by working 4 days a week starting January and then only three days weekly starting in July. I have enough annual leave to do that. Plus, each month I stay, I’m earning “bonus” money since I’ve been getting a retirement check since October 2010 which I cannot access until I leave.( Plus my monthly salary.)

    You’re still young, so maybe you can do some “consulting.” I can’t earn too much (about $14,000) after I retire because I’ll draw Social Security before my “full” age and so will be penalized if I exceed the limit. So I may do some consulting for “poker money.”

    If you’ve not worked 35 years when you start Social Security, your SS amount will be reduced because it is based on average annual earnings of your highest 35 years.

    • omawarisan says:

      I’m with you in fading out. I am working on a calendar for my partner so he can see how I am going to fade next year.

      By tradition, I will be removed from active duty and get a desk assignment for the last two weeks before my retirement day. I get why, and I’ve pulled a few people for those last two, but I don’t know how I’ll handle that. I might just take that time off.

  15. Congrats! My date is exactly one month after yours. Not sure if I’ll be able to afford to lay back. Okay, I know I can’t! Thankfully I’m vested in the pension (grunge municipality work) and can take my benefits with me which is HUGE in this economy. Can you hear me, Mitt? Anyway, love your snarkiness which is totally in my wheelhouse. You should continue writing in some media, with pay I hope. Thoroughly enjoy ya.

  16. Pie says:

    I love your phrases. Make a hole. Classic.

    Congrats on the soon-to-be retirement. If the novel is not your thing, you could produce a book writing the same mix of personal and observational as now, supported by your illustrations. You could have whole chapters on such things as The Policies of My Administration and some of your awful plane passenger stories. I’d buy a copy, knowing I was with you in those lean years before you became a publishing success.


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