Checks Are So 1970’s

Exterior Credit Union Signage | Bank Signage |...

A Credit Union. Not mine, but I’m sure they’re nice people. (Photo credit: I-5 Design & Manufacture)

I stopped by my Credit Union today. I left a richer man.

I didn’t rob them, and I didn’t clean out my account. They just decided to give me stuff because I am alive. I didn’t even ask. This is a business model I can get behind.

“You’re over fifty, right?” When the teller asked me, I admitted she was right. How could I fib about my age to someone who had the guts to ask the way she did? I would never ask someone if they were over fifty because I would instinctively pick a person who would answer with an insulted “no”.

Good Things Come To Those Who Wait…

Because I’m over fifty, I am now eligible for Senior Checking.

Getting older is such a treat. Old me gets away with saying things at work that would have gotten young me fired. I laugh at paying full price at hotels. Old me dines, but the bill is smaller than it was. Now the credit union is in on the racket I’ve got going.

The age guessing teller sent me to an office to arrange my transition to Senior Checking. A woman who likely had her own Senior Checking account was there to help me. To be honest, I think she was over fifty. For reasons I have already mentioned, I did not ask if she was over the magic age.

We got along famously. Those of us who’ve had time to experience the world understand how to relate to one another. We had a rapport, so I felt comfortable asking what Senior Checking entitled me to.

…And To Those Who Live Long Enough

English: A Snickers candy bar, broken in half.

Satisfies, in a secure location (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Being over fifty gets me a free safe deposit box. Youngsters pay to put stuff in the vault. When I put something in the vault, the credit union feels that the privilege of storing whatever I choose to put in there is payment enough. I agree.

I’m not sure what I’m going to store in the vault. Right now, a Snickers bar is the leading contender. I’ll leave it there for two weeks, then return to eat it.

They’re also giving me five free cashier’s checks a month. This will be handy during those months that I purchase five houses.

The best part of Senior Checking is…free checks! I can write checks as long as I have money in the account. When I run out of checks, they’ll print more of them. I wouldn’t mind writing them a check to pay for the new checks, but I don’t have to. I don’t have to, because I am over fifty.

It’s good to be a senior. Businesses dig us. They value who we are and I appreciate that.

If only I could get over this nagging feeling that they’re giving us free checks because we are the last ones who remember how to use them.


39 Comments on “Checks Are So 1970’s”

  1. Gives you a good reason to try to make it to 60 to see what goodies they give out then, huh?

  2. In California you have to be like 65. I think you should have responded, “Why yes I am over 50. Are you pregnant?” just to see her reaction.

    Hilarious post.

    • omawarisan says:

      Thank you!

      No way. I’ve seen the p-word question go horribly wrong for several people. When I think that, I always ask myself “what if she’s just wearing a really bad top?” 15% of the time, she is. That’s way outside my acceptable margin of risk

  3. Linda Sand says:

    I prefer when they just look at my gray hair and automatically give me the discount. No discussion needed.

  4. Jane says:

    Maybe you could use your safe deposit box as more of a time capsule type thing – just store lots of crap in there that young children in a hundred years time can dig out and be fascinated by. I’ve got a Game Boy you can put in there. I thought those boxes only happened in ‘the movies’, I wonder if we have them here in Australia, I’ve never heard of anyone ever having one here.

    • omawarisan says:

      Welcome Jane!

      I like that idea. I’ll give the key to my son to give to my grandchildren. They’ll open the box when they’re adults and think “the old man was insane”.

  5. Betty says:

    The only thing I still use (used) check for was my last car’s lease payment. Nissan charged an extra $5 or so for the privilege of paying them through their website. The lease expired a couple months ago and I did not return to Nissan. But I still have some checks left.

    • omawarisan says:

      They charged you to use a system that was cheaper for them? They aren’t that bright, are they?

      I think the collapse of the check printing industry is the cause of the world’s financial crisis.

  6. Lenore Diane says:

    Oma, this will make my list of my top favorite posts of yours. Maybe I’m reading this too early in the morning, still groggy with sleepiness, but this had me laughing hard. And the Snickers bar in the vault? Priceless. Though you should probably upgrade to a $100,000 Bar. (Do they still make those? Those bars may have gone south with checks.)
    P.S. I still use checks. Coincidentally, my 50th birthday is less than 8 yrs away.

  7. Beth Ann says:

    Came over from Lenore’s recommendation and loved the post! I am on the other side of 50 and totally get it! How about a Payday for the vault??? Or maybe two a month depending on how often you get paid??? Just imagine if you left all of those in there —by the time you retired you could have a whole lot of paydays!!! Thanks for the chuckles!

  8. Michelle Gillies says:

    I have been 50+ for longer than I care to think about. No such bounty has come my way. We have been cheering because He-Who turned 65 this year and he gets a lot of free and discounted stuff. I need to change to your bank.

  9. We Found Him Captain! says:

    My credit union is in the same building I work in. We don’t have a lounge or coffee break room at work. So, when it’s lunch time I go down to the credit union and take my lunch out of my free safe deposit box and sit in the nice quiet and private deposit box room and eat, take a nap and the I go back upstairs. I also keep an umbrella a fire extinguisher and car battery booster cables in my safe deposit box in case of an emergency. I’m 75 years old and earned a triple large free deposit box. It is 24 in. X 48 in. X 12 in. And it’s free! Every 5 years after 50 you get a bigger box.

  10. International Credit Union Day is on October 18–you might want to drop by with donuts or something and sit around and visit for a spell.

  11. Maybe you can stockpile books of free checks in your free safe deposit box. Just seems that would be clever.

  12. Great post! The AARPS have got it goin’ on!

  13. Debbie says:

    You get free stuff just for turning 50 — who knew?? How cool is that? So much better than giving you a pill and a raft and floating you out to sea or something. As for the safe deposit box, perhaps you could put a box of checks inside — your great-grandkids will marvel at the idea of such an old-fashioned way of exchanging money for stuff!

  14. I second the Snickers bar. Every couple of weeks, you should visit, eat it, and replace it. Be sure to walk out licking your fingers and asking for a napkin.

  15. Paul says:

    You have to think outside the box. The safe deposit box, that is. I would put a Hostess Twinkie in there and let my descendants open it in 2112 and see if it’s still fresh. The Snickers is a good idea but don’t you think you should eat it while you still have teeth?

  16. Todd says:

    What’s a check?

  17. spencercourt says:

    Free safe deposit! That’s worth some decent money.

    I’ve had free checking as long as I can remember, although I understand more and more “banks” are phasing them out. Credit unions are much more “customer” oriented than banks, probably because we sorta “own” the credit union.

    I still use checks to pays bills which I can charge to one of my “rewards” credit cards. I don’t trust online banking. Too many Chinese and Russians hacking into purportedly “secure” systems. The Nigerians better change their M.O. if they want to make any real money….

  18. I work in the credit union industry as a consultant. I’m taking your (anonymous) experience to my clients, who are looking for innovative ways to improve CU membership. To this day, I’m not sure why people still primarily use banks.

  19. Ms. PC says:

    I think you should start paying at McDonald’s with cashier’s checks.

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