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Reviewing Christmas Policy

Christmas lights. A responsibility, not a right. (public domain, wikipedia)

Christmas lights. A responsibility, not a right. (public domain, wikipedia)

The march toward my administration goes on. I have my policy writing staff working on new rules that address the matters other ruling bodies have been afraid to take on.

This seems like a good time to review an important policy.

With the first weekend of December upon us, many of our neighbors will begin preparing their outdoor lighting displays. Many of them will be fun to see. Others will be inspiring. A few will be dreadful.

Even though I have not completed my take over as the Incognito Ruler Of The World, it is appropriate for you to enforce my policies. There is no better, no easier time to take the law into your own hands than now.  Address those dreadful displays.

Review my administration’s policy on Christmas decoration and remember, there were three wise men, not five.

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26 Comments on “Reviewing Christmas Policy”

  1. Paul says:

    Did I vote for you? Was there a vote? Never mind. Perhaps originally there ere only three wise men. But I would definitely vote you in as the fourth! Thank you for your policy paper on outdoor decorations. Very responsible and wise!

  2. shoutabyss says:

    My neighbors had Christmas lights up the Friday night following Thanksgiving. Bad neighbors. They were supposed to be out shopping. Why don’t they love America?

    Holidays are a very, very big deal where I live. I postulate that it’s correlated to the quality of the locale. So…

  3. I remember that post, not only because of its brilliance, but because in the reply section, you said The Funniest Thing You Have Ever Said (that I’m privvy to).

    I added that parenthetical part because

    A. I wanted to use the word ‘privvy’; and
    2. I wanted to flaut the convention of not ending a sentence with a preposition; and
    Finally. I wanted to use the word ‘flaut.’

    Thank you. (And, seriously, I was just remembering that comment the other day and laughed out loud once again).

  4. Michelle Gillies says:

    Good review. I’m glad you gave us the opportunity to revisit these necessary and valid policies. I shall strictly enforce them in my neighbourhood. All offenders will be sent directly to you.

  5. Debbie says:

    One of my neighbors is already violating your policy. They’ve got a manger scene just a few yards from Santa and his sleigh. Shall I send them to you for disciplining?!

  6. Laura says:

    Okay, I can’t have two Santas, but can I have Santa and Santa’s Evil Twin?

  7. Snoring Dog Studio says:

    I’m not overly concerned about my neighbors and decorations. They are slackers like myself. My decorations for my outdoor porch are still lying on the table indoors. I finally put my Halloween decorations away yesterday.

  8. Pie says:

    Any outdoor decoration featuring Garfield should have its cable cut…

  9. T E Stazyk says:

    You got my vote (even if you’ve seized power illegally).

  10. Betty says:

    I had forgotten your rules. Thank you for the refresher. After nearly two decades of BAH HUMBUG, I’ve already lined my deck with white lights and baked two batches of cookies. Tomorrow my creative/decorator friend will come over to decorate my tree and home. Normally I can’t stomach more than two weeks of decor. It’s the end of the world as we know it.

  11. As I was scouring the internet for unique Christmas decorating ideas, such as synchronizing holiday lighting to “Gangnum Style” (which apparently is not very unique after viewing several hundred such synchronizations on YouTube) I stumbled on your blog. The interesting thing is that for years this very issue has been a thorn in my side ! I have had numerous discussions with neighbors concerning usage and placement of said decorations. I wholeheartedly agree with your administration’s position. For your consideration……The Mormon Tabernacle Choir singing “Up On the Housetop.” Point made.


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