Professional Alma Mater Writer

Alma Mater

Alma Mater Of Mark Koppel High, inexplicably proud of their three badminton championships. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Sometimes it seems like I’m doing anything, but that isn’t so. I’m not just staring off into space.  I’m thinking “oh God, in eleven months I won’t have a job”… as I stare off into space.

I spend much of my “off into space” time wondering if I can do more with my writing. I’d like to write things that will cause organizations to make direct deposits into my bank account. In my spare time, I toy with some ideas of how I might make that happen. The idea of being spontaneously contacted by a publication searching for a weekly columnist hasn’t worked out yet.

Just a few days ago, the inspiration arrived for my best writing career idea yet.

It Was Like Angels Singing On A Hill In Maryland

My friend Sandy commented on one of my posts. I answered her with the Alma Mater of my Alma Mater,  Oxon Hill High School:

On a hill in Maryland

Stands our Alma Mater

Grandest place in all the land

To ev’ry son and daughter

Though our school days will soon pass,

classmates say goodbye

We’ll never forget our class

and Oxon Hill High

Sandy didn’t just answer a blog post, she provided inspiration. After I retyped Oxon Hill’s Alma Mater to respond to her, I sang it to myself. “This came from somewhere,” I thought, “someone had to write it. Hey, I can write.” In that moment I decided to start a new career, professional Alma Mater writer.

My Body Of Work

I can’t just put a sign up that says “Omawarisan, Alma Mater Writer” and expect principals to flock to my door looking for school songs. Not just anyone can get paid to write a sentimental anthem to an educational institution. Unless you can present a body of work, you’ve got no shot.

Well, I have a body and let me tell you, it will turn heads (or something).

To prove my prowess as an Alma Mater author, I’ll share a few of my songs with you. I think we’ll agree that I am the première provider of these songs in the Western Hemisphere. The first sample is one I penned for a school in a rural/agricultural area:

When fall comes to town

The crops turn brown

That is when we come back roun’

Farmville, Farmville Senior High

We’ll move on, days go by

Miss our school, our tears won’t dry

We love Farmville Senior High.

It kind of hits you right there, doesn’t it? Maybe you should protect “right there” a little more carefully.

Here is a piece I wrote about a high school in a dairy-farming region…Wisconsin. Wisconsin is a pretty state, and they produce so much cheese…

Out in the meadow where they make the curd

Stands the building where we learned our words

Nouns and verbs and participles

Hearts burn for our school

Near the creek that ripples

Happy memories never run dry

For North Central High

I’ll bet that you’re thinking “sure, anyone can write hymns about schools in pretty, rural areas”. Well I have range. I can write for schools in urban areas too:

There’s a big city

It has a school

The school’s got this ditty

Our neighborhood is gritty

A bad word fits here

We can’t sing it, pity

Wrong side of down town

Wear school pride like a crown

Show Me The Money

They’re all pretty moving, aren’t they? Sing one to yourself with your eyes closed and you can almost hear the crowd singing along at the homecoming game.

Principals, superintendents, head masters and Mothers Superior – I am the one stop solution for the Alma Mater problem at your new school. Don’t farm out the writing of the most important anthem your students will ever hear to some band or chorus director because of a fancy “music degree”. If is sentiment you want. I’ve got a bus load of sentiment.


17 Comments on “Professional Alma Mater Writer”

  1. Wendy says:

    I think you are onto something. There must be a market for these gems. In addition to providing anthems for new schools, you could upgrade existing songs. I suggest you call these “Tune Ups”.

  2. Snoring Dog Studio says:

    Just the fact that you found a rhyme for “participles” qualifies you as an Alma Mater writer. These are excellent examples of your skills in this area. They could easily go viral. By the way, no medication can cure a viral infection.

    • omawarisan says:

      Sometimes it is best to let viruses and my writing just run their course. Always take plenty of clear liquids.

      “I’ll be over here until this blows over” Groucho Marx

  3. We Found Him Captain! says:

    You can expand this talent to include anthems for outgoing inmates at federal and state pens, reform schools, guys that graduate with a GED when they are married with children, and technicians who travel from farm to farm to repair milking machines for dairy farmers in Wisconsin. That’s a huge market……….

    • omawarisan says:

      Milk machine man, your job sucks
      But you make a lot of bucks…

      • We Found Him Captain! says:

        SEE! I knew you would excell at that customer base. How’s this:
        Milk machine man, milk machine man, he separates the bulls from the mothers
        Milk machine man, milk machine man, he’s always ready to help udders

  4. lbwoodgate says:

    trillip, trollip, trob

    Don’t give up your daytime job. 🙂

    Loved the inner city alma mater song though.

  5. “Out in the meadow where they make the curd Stands the building where we learned our words.” Interesting. . .
    I think you might want to add this idea to your mental brain storming black board. No idea is ever wrong during the brain storming process AND you will have the opportunity to search for more ideas. Which might be a good thing.

  6. Blogdramedy says:

    And again with snorting coffee out my nose. Stop doing that.

  7. Michelle Gillies says:

    I don’t think anyone could top these samples. I will be sure to recommend you to anyone looking for a new Alma Mater.

  8. Debbie says:

    Actually, these are probably as good as many and better than a lot! Why didn’t I think of that idea first??

  9. […] There’s always music playing at my place. I listen. I try to understand songs and how they’re put together. I’ve tried to write songs. I do well with lyrics for blues songs, and I write solid alma maters. […]

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