My Chat With The Star Of The Film, Argo

Ben Affleck speaking at a rally for Feed Ameri...

Not appearing in this post. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

There’s a lot of buzz about the Academy Award nominated movie Argo. I think we all know how driven I am by buzz, but this time it has driven me farther than ever. And guess who benefits? You.

You benefit because I was able to get an interview with the star of her own biographical film – the Argo Corn Maiden! Because the video is still being edited, I am providing this transcript from the raw interview footage.

Omawarisan: Argo, thanks for taking time out of your busy day to do this interview. You look, well, unbelievable.

Argo: Thanks Oma. I try. I’m careful about what I eat and I get lots of rest.

Omawarisan: At the risk of making this uncomfortable right away, I’ve just got to tell you that I’ve never seen a body like yours.


Argo, rocking the corn starch world for over a century (Photo credit: daveboudreau)

Argo: (rolling her eyes) I know, I know, I hear it all the time. Guys always muttering about wanting to get in my husk. I’d really just like to be known for my work.

Omawarisan: I can understand that. Your work seems as fresh as ever, some would say classic. How do you keep focused on a career that started in the early 1900’s?

Argo: What I do is important to me. I try to remember that even though I’ve been on that box millions of times, when a box hits the shelf I’ve got one chance to catch that shopper’s attention. I’m proud to say I’ve gotten good at it.

Omawarisan: Let’s talk about your new project, the movie.

Argo: (questioningly) The…movie?

Omawarisan: Yes, the new biographical piece, Argo. You had the chance to act with such a talented cast – Ben Affleck, Bryan Cranston, Alan Arkin – what was it like on the set with these actors from different generations?

Argo: I…I don’t really know.

Omawarisan: Oh, I see. You filmed your scenes and they cut them in to what those guys were doing on another set.

Argo: Well, it’s…like…I wasn’t in the film.

Omawarisan: (trying not to embarrass her) Well, that is a shame and a huge mistake on the producer’s part. It is hard to argue that you weren’t cut out to play yourself in your own biography.

Argo: I’m here because you think that movie is about me? Have you even seen it?

Omawarisan: Well, in all honesty, no. But you don’t think John Stewart reads all those books his guests write, do you?

Oh John

For what it is worth, he is aware he isn’t me.(Photo credit: phil dokas)

Argo: You aren’t John Stewart.

Omawarisan: Point taken.

Argo: Did you even see the TV commercials for the movie? I’m curious what part of those made you think there was a role for a corn maiden in that story.

Omawarisan: I suppose I thought that they were holding back.

Argo: No one holds back in those ads. They always show all the best parts.

Omawarisan: So you’re saying that if you had been in the film, you would be among the best parts.

Argo: I am a freaking corn maiden. THE Corn Maiden. Of course I would.

Omawarisan: I thought Affleck had an ego, geez

Argo: I’m sitting right here, I can hear you.

Omawarisan:…and you’re all ears?

Argo: I’m outta here. (Gets up and walks away)

Omawarisan: Well folks, there you have it. Argo has stalked off from the interview after it was…

Argo: (in the distance) I heard that!

Omawarisan: (yelling back) All ears!

Argo: (still distant) Point taken! (a door slams)

Omawarisan: You heard it here first. The great film, Argo, has no connection to its inspiration – the woman on the front of the corn starch box.


14 Comments on “My Chat With The Star Of The Film, Argo”

  1. Amaizing interview! It started off so silky smooth. Too bad she got so steamed.

    I never noticed before that she looks like a corn version of the Statue of Liberty.

  2. Todd says:

    I thought it was corny. (See what I did? It’s corn starch, and I said it was “corny.” Shoot, that’s funny, right there, I don’t care who y’are.)

  3. I am so impressed that you were able to get to these kernels of information. I would have been disappointed had I gone to see “Argo” expecting to see the lovely maiden.

  4. Wendy says:

    Amaizing interview. She fielded the questions well. And did you just asked whatever popped into your head?

  5. I thought Jon Stewart did read all those books! I lost an idol today.

  6. Debbie says:

    Okay, I didn’t see Argo, so your concept of an interview with the Argo corn maiden works just fine for me. Somehow, though, I never thought of her as that snippity! Thanks for exposing the kernel of truth!

  7. bryan says:

    Fantastic. This was so good I’m.going to sit back and try to digest this. Something tells me that I will be looking at at about 12 hours.

  8. robincoyle says:

    Only you, Oma, can pull off an interview with corn starch. Only you.

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