I Adopted Manti Te’o’s Girlfriend’s CatPosted: January 17, 2013
I remember the moment like it was yesterday; it was yesterday. A talking head on ESPN, the text below him parroting the hard truth he was speaking. “Manti Te’o’s girlfriend never existed.” It was the moment I knew I’d been hoaxed.
Mr. Te’o, the best player on a great college football team, became an inspirational figure by playing on in the face of the passing of his grandmother and girlfriend on the same day. So many of us felt for the kid.
I didn’t know how to help. Then, late one night, it hit me. She probably had a pet that was left behind. It was probably a cat. I’ve never had a cat, but I would have this one and raise it like my own.
I Had A Cat…
After some internet research and a few calls I heard the words I was hoping for from an animal shelter worker: “yeah, we’ve got Manti Te’o’s girlfriend’s cat and you can adopt him. We’ll fly him right out.” It sounded like he said something about a nut job as he hung up, but I can’t be sure.
I waited, but the cat never arrived at my home. Still, I heard he existed and I’d seen pictures of the cat, so it was my cat. I fed him and emptied the litter box. I never quite figured out what breed of cat it was that I had, but he was very tidy, never shed and apparently never had bowel movements.
Oh, the good times I’ve had with that cat over the last few months. You wouldn’t guess that I could have so much fun with an animal I’ve never actually met, but believe me, I did.
But now the news is that Te’o and his girlfriend never actually met. According to him, they “met” online. They communicated by phone and chatted on the net, but the meaning of met is a little skewed nowadays, isn’t it? Let’s leave it as they “met” on the net, but they were never in the same place.
Then she “died” and we all had sympathy for the guy. That is sympathy, without quotation marks. We had sympathy for the kid, for the loss of a woman he’d never really met because now he says she never really existed, someone else fabricated her. Alrighty then.
Was he in on the hoax? I don’t know. There are more than a few inconsistencies in the tale.
I just know that I’m stuck with this “cat” I adopted from a woman died though she never lived. I’ve been “feeding” it for a couple of months now even though I’ve never seen it. My suspicions are aroused.
“Way to go, Manti. Play like a champion today.”
For those who need to catch up on this story, here is an animated version from NMA.tv in Taiwan. It makes everything clear. Don’t miss the part at 1:30 – disturbing.