Five Routine Minutes: If I Knew, I’d Have Waited

A nice couple cleans the office where I work.

Our staff is in and out of the place around the clock, every day. One hundred people who work in the field tend to track a lot of that field back into the office. These two keep the place up and are very nice about it in the process.

On the day I’m telling you about, I had been out of the office. The morning was jumping. There were a lot of situations for me to oversee. Unfortunately, being busy put me behind my morning schedule.

There are certain biological functions that have to happen at specific times of day. A person could set their clock by me.

Why I don’t schedule meetings before 9.

Nature called, right on time. By the time I was able to break free and zip to the office, nature had called back and left several messages. Each message was more urgent than the last.

I ran in to the office and toward the locker room to relieve the pressure. As I turned in toward the bathroom section of the locker room, the cleaning guy was working in there. I stopped, not sure if he needed more time.

When you say “its cool”, I interpret that as “its cool”. Usually I am right.


I heard him getting his stuff to leave. As usual, there was someone else in the locker room. I assumed it was someone changing clothes at their locker. It wasn’t. I was still facing the porcelain, taking care of business when the other half of our cleaning team strolled through the bathroom.

What kind of guy would tell me to just go on, knowing his girlfriend was in the room?

There was only one thing I could say to her.

In my defense, DaVinci didn’t draw plumbing fixtures well either.


32 Comments on “Five Routine Minutes: If I Knew, I’d Have Waited”

  1. I can answer the question: “What kind of guy would tell me to just go on, knowing his girlfriend was in the room?” One who has a cooler girlfriend than himself or myself for that matter!

  2. benzeknees says:

    Really the guy should have told you his other half was still in the room. How did he know you wouldn’t be embarrassed? My hubby is so shy, he wouldn’t even go into the room if someone else was there even if he was dying.

  3. I used to visit a very old bar in Manhattan. They didn’t let women in until 1972 – and that was only because the law said they had to. When they begrudgingly let in the fair sex, they did so without changing the bar. Same sawdust, nicotine stained walls and same door in the back with the word “Toilet” on it. After sampling a mug or three of the brews, I’d find myself swaying slightly in front of the gigantic urinal, standing in the grooved floor as a million men before me had done. Unlike those men of yesteryear, I’d have the occasional woman stroll in and duck into a stall behind me. At first it was shocking, but eventually it just was. I was saddened to hear that they’ve supposedly renovated the place and put in seperate bathrooms. So much for history, so much for charm…

  4. Snoring Dog Studio says:

    Having accidentally walked into the men’s restroom many times throughout my life, I don’t think I could ever get used to the opposite sex hanging out while I’m busy. (“Hanging out” wasn’t a pun. Really.)

  5. You just made my whole day. It’s 6:23 a.m. and my day cannot be bad. Not just because of your fantastic art skills but because a girl watched you “handle” your business. Fantastic. She really should have come up with something more clever to say like, “How’s it hanging Oma?” I probably would have yelled something to make you turn towards me and then you would have left me more work on the floor and laid it all out on the table. Win-win.

  6. Bwahahaha! Oh…sorry to laugh at your misfortune.


  8. Your drawings are beautiful. I’d like a unicorn please.

  9. planetross says:

    In Japan the hot springs sometimes have female staff cleaning in the men’s change room area: usually it’s older women, but sometimes it’s women my age … that makes me drop my towel. hee hee!

  10. Blogdramedy says:

    Good thing you weren’t startled. 😉

  11. Lenore Diane says:

    Meh. She’s seen bigger. I mean better. I mean – dang. Never mind. It’s the dude’s fault.

  12. List of X says:

    I had lived in men-only dormitory while I was in a co-ed college, so I am no longer shocked by the sight of ladies in the men’s room. Obviously, the planners thought that if it’s a men’s dormitory, there’s no way a woman would ever enter the building, so they never bothered installing a separate bathroom for them.

  13. Laura says:

    About half the time when I want to use the ladies’ room at work, there’s someone in there cleaning it. On the bright side, our restrooms are always very clean.

  14. Pie says:

    Of course you couldn’t wave. Your hands were full.

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