I Am Suing

Last week, someone hit my car. She barely hit it, but hit it she did. We were at a red traffic light. The first few cars in line moved when the light turned green. The car in front of mine did not and the car behind mine did.

No one was hurt. The paint was chipped on my bumper, but there was no structural damage to either car. The woman who bumped into me was very nice. I really hope her husband did not give her the hard time she was expecting. They call these events accidents for a reason.

Yes, she was very nice. She was nice, I’m not hurt, and her insurance is getting my car fixed. I am suing her brains out.

I am going to sue her and take every penny from her and every one of her ancestors. I am suing her because the body shop sends me gory photos of my car, like this one?


I’m sorry you had to see that.

No, that isn’t why I’m going to take all her money. I suppose getting something like this in an email would be reason enough for most. But the horror of this is nothing compared to the rental car I have to drive while Dr. Frankenstein reassembles the Omawari-car.

A Dodge Charger. They gave me a Dodge Charger. Not a cool 1969 Charger. One of those ugly new ones.

You all know I have a lot of words. I have no words to describe how miserable I think this car is and how much I hate driving it. The only good thing on the Charger is the tires.

So, I am suing this very nice lady that barely tapped my car, causing the paint to wrinkle on the bumper only, because I have to drive this car that is crushing my soul. Yes, my car has 5 m.p.h. bumpers, but my soul is being totaled by the mere presence of this Charger in my life. I want it gone.

Please, Dr. Frankenstein, I’ve got to have my car back today, so I can sue her.


39 Comments on “I Am Suing”

  1. Laura says:

    The first time I ever drove a rental car was also the first work trip I was ever sent on. They were out of whatever kind of car they were supposed to give me, so I wound up with a white Mustang convertible. I thought that’s what rental cars were like. It’s been downhill since then — mostly Ford Focuses (Foci?). Last year, I had to have some work done on my car, and the rental was a Toyota Yaris. Oh, the horror.

  2. No words other than I’m so sorry. So. So. Sorry.

  3. AiXeLsyD13 says:

    One time I got a Ford Focus as a rental replacement for my Subaru Outback. It was snowing. How is a Focus at all a replacement on an AWD or cargo space level? I should have sued…

  4. This takes “pain and suffering” to a whole new level. I’m certain you’ll win millions, but it won’t erase the horror. They should have supplied you with a 1969 Charger with a Hurst shifter and an 8 track player. Then the only suffering would have been at the pump.

  5. writerdood says:

    Last time I got hit and had to put my brand new Prius in the shop because some idiot backed into me, I did it while I was on vacation to the coast. I got to pocket the rental car money. It worked out perfectly. And the repairs were such that you couldn’t even tell the car had been hit. I was very happy. As for the people, that dude should not have a license, but do I have the time and energy to sue someone? No. Nor do I care enough to bother.

    My son really likes the new Chargers (the way they look). Personally, I prefer the new Cameros – except for the back end. They look weird all rounded like that. Straighten the rear air foil and I’d go for one of those.

  6. Snoring Dog Studio says:

    Didn’t the Dukes of Hazard Drive a Dodge Charger? C’mon, someone famous did or is!

  7. Oddly, I always want to keep the car I’m given whenever my car gets work done on it. Last time they gave me a really kool Beamer. Of course the fact that mine is an old beat up Honda with 410 thousand kilometres on it might have something to do with it.

  8. We Found Him Captain! says:

    A real “HOT” car these days is a 2001 Nissan Sentra…..

  9. Betty says:

    I wish your car (and you) a speedy recovery. Last time my car was in the shop, the rental I had was a Chevy HHR. Not cool.

  10. It could be worse. They could have given you a PT cruiser or some other type of boxy car. I don’t like boxy cars.

    • omawarisan says:

      I just read an article about how the PT Cruiser got to be so prevalent in the rental fleet because no one else was buying them. They’re starting to be phased out now. Even rental companies don’t like them.

  11. Debbie says:

    Did they give you a bag to wear over your head, too?? Something so the other cool kids wouldn’t have to see you, point their fingers, and laugh at Oma in the Charger?

  12. Hot Joe would sue her twice. You know he’s a classic car guy with his 73 Maverick. When he saw the Charger he was mortified. It’s one thing to change over the years but to BRING IT BACK NOTHING LIKE IT WAS? I think I’ll sue her too. For you, of course because what if I visit?

  13. dufmanno says:

    I wish my car would explode and drive itself off a cliff in a dramatic fire ball of hate. (no humans)

    It’s a Dodge Caravan and every few months I get an ominous recall notice about it’s tendency to suddenly be set ablaze during standard operation. It’s always a “pat on the back” survival moment when we get out after each trip.

    • omawarisan says:

      There is always fire involved in recalls. Why? My work car was recalled because it tended to burst into flames when hit from behind. Don’t know why anyone would see that as a problem for a car that ends up stopped in traffic with every other car zooming by.

  14. My EYES! My poor, poor eyes! What did they do to your car?!

    I hope your reunion with your car is a happy one.

  15. robincoyle says:

    If anyone can make a Dodge Charger look cool, you can. Come on, Oma . . . work it!

  16. We Found Him Captain! says:

    You’re lucky you did’nt get a yellow Datsun honeybee B-210 loaner.

  17. I remember the time I learned the lesson that Economy Class means they will go to a developing country to find a car that has crank windows and manual locks just to mess with you. I made sure to upgrade to Compact next time (I like small cars) only to find out “Compact” is code for “Economy”. I give up on rental cars.

  18. Lenore Diane says:

    How have you managed to work, Oma? I think I’d stay home until I had my real car back. You are a braver man than I.

  19. The parking lot of my gym overlooks the body shop next door. One morning I pulled in and the shop was working on a car that looked like that photo of yours. The license plate was, and I am not making this up, “REVERSE”. Of all days not to have my phone or camera.

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