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Looking At A Taylor Swift Concert Through 51 Year Old Eyes

Taylor Swift

Taylor Swift (Photo credit: jennnnnyf)

Today is the big day. Taylor Swift is coming to town for a concert. I’ll be there, working.

Here is a list of things I know about Ms. Swift:

  • Swift is a cool name. I would like to see someone who weighs 500 lbs named Swift. Their life would be such a lie.
  • Ms. Swift has that one song about the boy who lives next to the nerdy girl who likes him. She’s skipping the prom to study. Then she decides to take off her glasses, put on a dress and fall by the prom. Because she is radiant without her glasses, the boy digs her.
  • This one isn’t about Taylor Swift: I, too, am radiant without my glasses.
  • Whoever she dates becomes a matter of public record.
  • The Vatican has said that each potential pope was asked if he had ever dated Taylor Swift. On the third vote, they found a candidate who said no…and there was much rejoicing.
  • It is said that she is very nice and cares about her fans.
  • Teenaged girls make up most of Ms. Swift’s fan base.

Most of my readers are not teenaged girls. I believe that few, if any of you, will ever see a Taylor Swift show. As a public service to you, I will be blogging my impressions of the event from inside the arena.

Yes, for as long as my phone battery lasts, I will add to this post from the concert. If you have questions you’d like me to answer, feel free to leave them here now. Check back throughout the evening for answers to your questions and my updates on the proceedings as they happen.

Update – just drove by the arena at 10am. There are already people at the loading dock. The show isn’t for nine hours.

Update – 1030. On my way out of downtown. This truck and 20 more just like it, plus a bunch of buses parked a few blocks away. Apparently this is not a “slip quietly into town” kind of thing.

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Update – passed the arena one more time before regular shift ended. 75-100 people, mostly young, waiting at the loading dock. Two had some sort of fur apparatus on their head and back. I can’t account for that.

Update – 3:55 let’s get dressed and go to work, shall we?

4:08, on my way

Update – 4:40- I’m in. Wheeeee!

4:50 – working outside a bit. Uniform of the day seems to be a dress and cowboy boots. Who decides these things and does a memo go out?

5:00 – I see a man in the parking lot across the street. He is wearing a purple smock looking thing and something gold in his head. I ask about him. “Oh he is at the shows a lot. He’s dressed as Taylor’s perfume bottle.” Yeah, that’s not odd.

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6:00. Back inside. Sales at the bars appear slow. There are not many men here. This is the house of estrogen.

6:30 – I forgot to bring my granola bar. If anyone has an extra and can bring it is appreciate it. I’m wearing blue. I’m radiant if I take my glasses off.

6:40- it’s a happy crowd. Everyone is nice.

6:50 – opening act starts ten minutes early. When has that happened before? Never.

Also, god bless whoever invented foam ear plugs. I’m going with orange and purple tonight because I’m funky like that. Everything I do gon’ be funky from now on.

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7:10 – apparently the opening act has an opening act.

A lot of signs etc say 22. Are they all Emmet Smith fans?

8:00 – opening act over.

I see a few comments but can’t pull them up. Not ignoring anyone.

Men’s rooms converted to women’s. still big lines.

8:15. There is the guy dressed as the perfume bottle. There should be someone following him dressed as a restraining order.

8:26 – posed for a picture with one of the ushers. He doesn’t think I’m funny.

8:30 – show starting. There’s a little screaming.

I don’t know this song. Think she knows anything by The Band? Maybe “The Weight?” Come on, everyone can sing that.

8:36 there is a big video screen which mostly focuses on her head. She does this odd thing of looking at the crowd.

She has on red shoes. Please don’t sing angels wanna wear my red shoes.

8:50. She changes clothes? Who does that?

Crowd sings along. That’s always a happy sound. Happens a lot to me too.

One song, second clothes change. What the hell?

9- 4th outfit. Stop it.

Univ of Florida Gulf Coast upsets Georgetown in NCAA tournament. Gotta love ESPN score center app.

Hate Georgetown.

945- same clothes. At least five songs. So sloppy.

Now two outfits in one song. Happy crowd. That’s very cool, even when I don’t know any songs.

10:00. When is the Eric Clapton show? How many outfits will he wear?

I’m hungry.

10:07 tv in the hall has soccer game between USA and Costa Rica. It is snowing like hell. If you’re Costa Rica, why would you schedule a game where that can happen. Guy singing anthem. His nose is running.

Back inside. She’s changed clothes. I’ve lost track.
And again.

10:15- apparently she and someone are not ever ever ever getting back together. Please let her be talking to me.

Are sparks and confetti a good idea? It just seems to tempt fate, or fire or something.

Show ends without an encore. Whoa.

Everyone leaves happy. That’s a good night. Not what I’d like to see, but we don’t all like the same thing.

Ok. Going home. Going to change clothes 12 times and hit the sack.

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59 Comments on “Looking At A Taylor Swift Concert Through 51 Year Old Eyes”

  1. AiXeLsyD13 says:

    Wow, that would be a thing to behold. I’ve been to a lot of shows in my day, but never a girl pop one. I have been to some country shows thanks to the wife… It’s funny how it’s an entirely different vibe depending on the artist. I imagine that someday I’ll be taking the little one to concerts that I may not enjoy….

  2. I will be with you in spirit.

    I am so lucky! My teen has zero interest in Taylor Swift. In fact, the only way I know about any of her songs is because the preteens I teach sometimes sing the lyrics to me. When I am being punished for something.

  3. Wendy says:

    I work for an optometrist, and I am very sorry to tell you that the thing about the glasses is a myth. I theorize that the “radiance” is merely a side effect of blurred vision.

    When I remove my glasses, fine lines and blemishes “disappear”, along with other minor details (such as eyes, noses, and mouths).

    • omawarisan says:

      Hmm. Maybe I was wrong. So I’m radiant if you take your glasses off? That works for me, there are a lot of lines to make disappear.

      • Wendy says:

        That’s the Magic of Myopia! Hey, maybe you can suggest to Ms. Swift that she write a song about it… Although James Thurber’s “The Admiral on the Wheel” will always be the definitive work on this subject, in my eyes.

  4. Snoring Dog Studio says:

    Ask Taylor what she’s planning on doing when she grows up. Then turn and run.

  5. I wonder if she throws her guitar picks. I hope you catch one!

  6. Todd says:

    In the book Live From New York, an oral history of Saturday Night Live, someone says celebrities stop maturing at whatever age they become famous, because that’s when everyone starts bending over backwards to please them. Taylor Swift became a star at age 16. I think this explains a lot. Have fun!

  7. Debbie says:

    I don’t envy you having to endure an entire evening of teenage angst! Still, there’s something to be said for being able to tell your grandkids, I saw Taylor Swift in concert. Realizing, of course, they very well might retort, WHO’s Taylor Swift??!

    • omawarisan says:

      I could forgive them not knowing. Some things aren’t forgivable though. I made a Jimi Hendrix reference recently at work. The kid didn’t know what I was talking about. Until that day, I’d never shot a man.

  8. stevebetz says:

    SSSQQQQUUUUUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

  9. I want to know if goats come on stage and sing parts of her song like I saw on the radio. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. that song comes on (I have a teenage boy and a pre-teen girl who goes to and from school with me so don’t judge my radio preference) we all (yes me too) scream like a goat. If you haven’t seen the video youtube taylor swift goat. You will watch it no less than 16 times. The first day.

  10. robincoyle says:

    I saw Ms Swift in concert with my girls. She opened for Rascal Flatts. Count how many times she whips her hair around. By the end of the concert I was ready to cut off her hair.

    • omawarisan says:

      I’ll have to try to keep a tally. You’re not in town, are you? If so, and you get that urge again, and you see radiant me, please put the clippers down.

  11. Well, there goes next year’s Halloween costume. Darn it! Too slow again!

  12. I think I may actually be your sole teenage girl reader. In that case, I just have to say….I love Taylor Swift. Love her. I’ve been to two of her concerts, and at the second one she grabbed my hand. I died a little bit that day from sheer joy.
    I mean, don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t take dating advice from her, but I love her music and her clothes and her kitten…seriously I love that kitten.

  13. At least the men’s room won’t be crowded tonight.

    • omawarisan says:

      They converted most of the men’s to women’s. there are still lines.

      Girl came out with her mother, wanted to know what the weird things on the walk were.

  14. The Bungalow Blog says:

    Is she with The Birds? Are they back together?

    Dude…you score the best gigs.

  15. Laura says:

    Enquiring minds want to know: what does Perfume Bottle Costume Guy smell like?

  16. We Found Him Captain! says:

    O.K.! So nobody liked the perfume bottle costume. I’ll trade it in for a shaving cream can costume in time for the Taylor Swift concert in Bayonne, NJ on Easter Sunday. “Be There or be square”.

  17. We Found Him Captain! says:

    That’s brasciole now.

  18. Omawarison says:

    Being the only person in the family who listens to modern country, I have to say, cowboy boots? Really? They’re really trying hard to push this “she does country music” thing. It only goes to prove the saying “If you have to keep saying you are, then most likely, you aren’t.”

    • omawarisan says:

      Yeah, I didn’t hear country in that show at all. But she said she was up for a number of country music awards. Maybe she’s talking about a different country.

      Good saying. I never hear you say you are the greatest, yet you are.

  19. spencercourt says:

    Maybe the next concert you can work will be Dread Zeppelin….

  20. Men’s rooms converted to women’s. still big lines.

    Boy, that brought back a lot of memories. When I was a teenager going to a lot of concerts I spent a lot of time in men’s rooms…

  21. Imagine, every one of those little girls paid more for their seat than you probably made for working the gig. As far as Taylor Swift goes…there could be worse role models…oh, wait, there are.

  22. Pie says:

    Perfume bottle man; cowboy boots; relentless costume changes and the massive truck to contain them. You went there, so I didn’t have to. I’m a very grateful Pie.

  23. planetross says:

    I thought those were illegal drugs you confiscated, but they were only ear plugs.

    note: some people would consider going to concerts a perk of a job … if they were getting paid or overtime!!!

    double note: my job has perks, but most of them involve doing things for good money and not much work … that I have to get up early for. A night time gig would be a change.

  24. shoutabyss says:

    Ear plugs are vital. You are wise. Iris Dement is currently on tour. Look her up. If she goes anywhere near your town, make an effort. She is like a gift from God. Her concert was one of the most incredible things I’ve ever seen. Taylor who?


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