Five Routine Minutes: What Does Replace Mean?Posted: May 17, 2013
Most days I bring my lunch to work. I’ve usually got some leftovers in my lunch bag. A quick spin in the office microwave and I’m in business.
There’s always something good on the break room TV. A few weeks ago, we watched some guy who was trying to understand why some lions attacked him. I thought the buckets of raw meat he was carrying were a bigger factor than the “experts” seemed to. Last Friday, we watched some bumpkins wrestling catfish in muddy water. That show made the catfish look like sympathetic characters.
This week, tragedy struck the lunch routine. The microwave oven died. There was a short grieving period…
I put my lunch in the refrigerator (which still worked) and took myself out to eat. Usually, the microwave is replaced quickly.
The next morning, it had not been replaced. This was discouraging. Later in the morning, an email was sent announcing that the old microwave “had been removed.”
Sometimes I get myself in trouble by taking things one step further than they were intended to be. I read “removed” and went one step beyond.
When I went in to heat up my lunch, I found that I was sort of correct. The old microwave oven was removed, and replaced by…
Don’t get me wrong, this was one fine toaster. It was a four-slotter, with polished chrome, a crumb tray, and adjustable brownness. This was state of the toasting art. It was so wonderful I could hardly bear to be in its presence. Awesomeness came off it in waves that were so intense I had to put my sunglasses on to keep them from screwing up my rods and cones.
As I basked in the toaster’s magnificence, my memory brought bad news.
Today’s lesson: Removed doesn’t always mean replaced. Replaced doesn’t imply adequately replaced.