Hello, Mr. Other MePosted: May 29, 2013
Long ago, a teacher told my class that “somewhere in the world, is someone just like you.” I’m not sure what the point was, because I’m not sure how possible that is.
But the idea fascinated elementary school me. I wondered about this other me without questioning if it could be true that he was out there. What would we talk about if we met? If he were older, would I be just like him, or could he still be just like me? The teacher didn’t really cover that.
The probability of a couple in Belgium creating another me can’t be good. Then I factor in the environmental aspects and what the chances are that the other me was raised by clowns. When I add that up, the odds of Mr. Other Me’s existence are pretty slim.
How Slim Are Those Odds?
“You scare me. How did you arrange for your doppelgänger to sit next to us?” I read the text message, then looked at the photo my friend had attached. There, next to some of my best friends, at a concert I couldn’t attend, was Mr. Other Me.
He is a damned fine-looking man. Perhaps you’ll think me conceited for saying so. I disagree. I’m not talking about myself, I’m referring to him. There’s nothing wrong with giving compliments.
This other me even dressed like I dress. He had on a ball cap and glasses. He wore a hoodie and, presumably, jeans. It was a cool night and we don’t like being cold. He had short hair like mine.
Mr. Other Me had the good sense to reveal himself to a group of my best friends. Each of them are veterans of various adventures with me. At least one has photos that prevent me from running for the Senate. Because I know who he was with, I’d bet Other Me had a good time. Because he is me(-ish), I expect that he bought a round or two.
Since this guy is out there and we are me, it is probably a good idea that we come to an understanding of how certain things are to go. Mr. Other Me, when you find my blog (and I know you will), let me just tell you what my expectations are.
- Buy your share of rounds – Like I said a moment ago, you were with my friends. I expect that you bought them a drink. A full report on your conduct has not come in yet. Hopefully you did not disappoint.
- Put gas in the Miata – We love the Miata. It is a fun ride, isn’t it? I can’t help but notice that I’m the only one putting gas in it. That is going to have to change. Speaking of change, we’ll need to change the oil next month. That one is on you, Me.
- We’re retiring this fall – The nice stuff that people are saying is about me, not us.
- I’m not successful at making pizza dough – One of us should be. I choose you.
- This is my blog – You may read, but only one of us can write here. I choose me.
There will be other matters we’ll need to discuss. You’re probably going to need to go find your own friends too. I won’t rush you too much on that, since your existence is against all odds.
But I’ll need you to get moving on that friends thing. I know how you can drag your feet.’ You’re sort of me, Other Me.