Hey Costco

Hey Costco, we’re buds, right? We can talk when we’ve gotta talk.

English: A pack of blueberries from a organic ...

You wouldn’t sell me this weeny thing of blueberries. I respect that, man. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I mean, it doesn’t get all weird when I’m in your store, see a giant tub of blueberries for six bucks and say “dude, I love you man. Thanks for all the blueberries.” No, it’s all good.

I fell by your place yesterday to pick up a few things I needed – some vegetables, some fruit. Socks. Yeah, needed socks too. I could have gotten some tires, a shirt and a whole bunch of chicken, but I didn’t this time.

To get to the “need to have” section, I had to go through the “nice to have” section. I passed, once again, on that really huge TV. I also didn’t get a beach cart, camera, watch or several other things. Those baseball tickets you had were tempting. I haven’t seen a Braves game in a long time.

But here’s what I want to talk to you about. And I know I can tell you about this without you getting all belligerent with me. We’re Bros. We say what we have to say.

Right near where your place is starting to transition from “nice to have” to “need to have” stuff there was a display. It was obviously seasonal, because you’ve never tried to sell me fireworks before. Man, I love fireworks. I’m not so much in to the small kind that people like me can buy, but big professional fireworks are great.

Yeah, I’m stalling. I’m sorry. Here’s what I’m getting to.

So I see this display of fireworks, and I see this:

I get it, man, I really do. You’re trying to pick up a few extra bucks selling fireworks. You’re an entrepreneur. It’s what you do. You’re a business man, and a responsible one at that. But I’m not sure what you were thinking here.

We both know a lot of people, but I don’t know anyone who is tough enough to reach into a flaming case of fireworks to grab a fire extinguisher. I feel safe in saying that you probably don’t know anyone who would do that either.

So seriously, man, what the hell? You’re better than this.

No, it’s cool. We’re good. I knew it would embarrass you and I hate that, man. Better me than a stranger, right? Don’t sweat it. Let’s talk about something else; do you have any beer?

Of course you do, look who I’m asking. Relax, I’ll walk back there and get it.


33 Comments on “Hey Costco”

  1. Anonymous says:

    We just recently joined Sam’s Club to purchase inordinate amounts of diapers and formula… and I totally feel this post.

  2. Daile says:

    Costco is coming to Australia and I’m nervous and excited at the same time! So many choices

  3. Kevin Cullen says:

    Costco – their free samples keep me going during the harder times. I love it so much.

  4. Debbie says:

    We don’t have a Costco, but a friend of mine swears by them. It rather puzzles me why they’d put a fire extinguisher inside the fireworks box, but hey, maybe somebody was just trying to make a point. A customer, obviously. No sales associate would want to put a damper on fireworks sales by reminding customers that they’re dangerous!

  5. The Fire marshal says you have to have a fire extinguisher if you have fireworks display. Next time the Fire Marshal should tell them specifically where…….just a thought. Now what isle is the beer in?
    Great post Oma!

  6. I have a fire extinguisher in my kitchen. I’d be willing to sell it to you real cheap.

  7. Costco rules! They have wonderful things there that you never see anywhere else and always in massive quantities and usually quite reasonable. The problem is storing all the big stuff.

  8. List of X says:

    I’m a little more concerned that the fireworks they sell contain TNT…

  9. Laura says:

    Maybe it’s a clever marketing ploy — “hey, while you’re getting fireworks, why not pick up a fire extinguisher too?”

  10. Awesome Costco tale! 😀
    Plow through that giant tub of blueberries, and go again soon. I want to hear more!

  11. Katie says:

    Some men just want to watch the world burn….

  12. Cosco fan. I bought fruit yesterday. Even if we can’t eat it all before it goes bad it’s a better deal than the grocery store. The display said safety first to me….but I think a better bet is a hose. Of-course I never worry, while our alley looks like a war zone the night of the fourth..three of our neighbors are fire men and while they are having a blast they keep an eye on things. No use ruining the fun with an accident.

    • omawarisan says:

      I am loving fruit season since I started going there.

      Yes, A hose. Because fireworks seem like something you extinguish from waaaay over there somewhere.

  13. Snoring Dog Studio says:

    People like me need a Costco-Lite. I just don’t know where to put 46 cantaloupes. Or a 601b bag of dog food. Does the regular Costco sell large homes with 3-car garages?

    • Mimi says:

      The deals look better than my checkbook. I can never believe the grand total. Really? That’s $225?! I just came in to get some milk and fresh vegetables. I don’t know how the beach umbrella, peat moss, watermelon, DVDs,… ended up in my cart!

      • omawarisan says:

        SD, that’s what I thought but I get almost everything there now. Yes, 3 br, condensed homes.

        Mimi, yeah, I’ve had to be disciplined and stick to my list or thigns get sticky.

  14. Betty says:

    I get so nervous when the little idiots in the Bubble start shooting off amateur fireworks. I’ve had countless bottle rockets land on the roof, on the car, ugh! I sit with phone in hand ready to ring the fire department.

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