I Don’t Like Scooby DooPosted: July 3, 2013
And now, we’ll discuss a question that I’m sure has been on all your minds: “What does Omawarisan think of Scooby Doo?”
To take on this complex matter, it is important to break the question into two sub-questions:
- What do I think of Scooby Doo as an individual?
- What do I think of the Scooby Doo show(s)?
The first question is simple. I love dogs. By extension, I love Scooby Doo as an individual member of a class of animals that I appreciate. Scooby seems friendly, loyal, well-trained and not a threat in any way.
The second issue is more complex.
Despite my respect for Scooby Doo, the individual, I find the show problematic on a number of levels.
It’s Never Really A Ghost
Scooby and friends seem to be in the business of helping people who are tormented by supernatural forces. The thing is, the gang never encountered real monsters or ghosts. The problem was always someone who was involved in some shady dealings, trying to scare good people off by projecting ghosts or having someone dress as a monster.
How often does it happen that a criminal furthers his crime by projecting ghosts? Hardly ever. For instance, was the financial collapse of the major banks caused by people projecting ghosts into the board rooms for personal gain? No, it was straight up malfeasance. Scary ghost projection is an underutilized modus operandi.
It frustrates me that no one in Scooby’s group has figured out that the spooks they’re chasing are never real. How do they not see the pattern? I want an episode with them riding in the Mystery Machine and someone saying “hey, have you noticed that…”
And because the ghosts are never real, the “mysteries” could be resolved with a baseball bat. When Scooby and his group show up and see the “monster”, one of them could just start wildly swinging a bat. When the bat hits the monster one of two things will happen:
- the monster falls, indicating it is a person in a monster suit. Unmask him and the mystery is solved
- the bat goes through the monster, indicating said monster is a projection. Find the projector and the mystery is solved.
The Business Model
The business model of this mystery solving operation is all messed up. Scooby and friends do not seem to have a headquarters (or homes). I don’t understand how people reach them to request that they render services.
In fact, my recollection is that they’re often driving around and happen upon the situations that they address. Simply driving the back roads is not an efficient way of finding work. Consider the gas and lodging expenses. And every meal they’d eat would be restaurant food. Imagine their arteries after a couple years of that lifestyle.
There’s no evidence of any sort of system to reimburse them for their efforts. No bills issued, no one saying “thanks kids, here’s your check.” Scooby and Company seem to sort of have a job. An actual job pays for the time and expertise expended on behalf of another entity. The lack of funds coming in makes the entire concept of the show implausible.
I’ve got a lot of issues with Scooby from a diversity stand point, but let’s address something just as insidious.
I do not approve of the message delivered by Daphne and Velma. Velma is portrayed as the sharper of the two women. Velma is also not much to look at, wears glasses and is poorly dressed. Daphne is the more appealing character and, despite figuring out a few mysteries, it is clear the Velma is far brighter.
Physical attractiveness is not correlated with IQ scores, reasoning ability or any of the other factors we use to evaluate how bright an individual is. It is possible to be good-looking and smart, but you’d never know that from watching Scooby.
The Velma/Daphne dichotomy presents young girls with a false choice. “Be pretty or be smart” is the hidden message. Sad. Very sad.
Scooby Doo has been popular for decades, despite my opinion. It shouldn’t be.
Poor business practices, young people adopting a nomadic existence, unfortunate messages for girls, and a dog who walks upright are just a few of the issues I have with the show. I don’t like it.
An earlier post regarding Shaggy is here.