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I Don’t Like Scooby Doo

And now, we’ll discuss a question that I’m sure has been on all your minds: “What does Omawarisan think of Scooby Doo?”

The Mystery Machine during the All-Star Parade...

The Mystery Machine (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

To take on this complex matter, it is important to break the question into two sub-questions:

  1. What do I think of Scooby Doo as an individual?
  2. What do I think of the Scooby Doo show(s)?

The first question is simple. I love dogs. By extension, I love Scooby Doo as an individual member of a class of animals that I appreciate. Scooby seems friendly, loyal, well-trained and not a threat in any way.

The second issue is more complex.

Despite my respect for Scooby Doo, the individual, I find the show problematic on a number of levels.

It’s Never Really A Ghost

Scooby and friends seem to be in the business of helping people who are tormented by supernatural forces. The thing is, the gang never encountered real monsters or ghosts. The problem was always someone who was involved in some shady dealings, trying to scare good people off by projecting ghosts or having someone dress as a monster.

How often does it happen that a criminal furthers his crime by projecting ghosts? Hardly ever. For instance, was the financial collapse of the major banks caused by people projecting ghosts into the board rooms for personal gain? No, it was straight up malfeasance. Scary ghost projection is an underutilized modus operandi.

It frustrates me that no one in Scooby’s group has figured out that the spooks they’re chasing are never real. How do they not see the pattern? I want an episode with them riding in the Mystery Machine and someone saying “hey, have you noticed that…”

English: SVG drawing of a baseball bat.

The mystery solver. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

And because the ghosts are never real, the “mysteries” could be resolved with a baseball bat. When Scooby and his group show up and see the “monster”, one of them could just start wildly swinging a bat. When the bat hits the monster one of two things will happen:

  • the monster falls, indicating it is a person in a monster suit. Unmask him and the mystery is solved
  • the bat goes through the monster, indicating said monster is a projection. Find the projector and the mystery is solved.

The Business Model

The business model of this mystery solving operation is all messed up. Scooby and friends do not seem to have a headquarters (or homes). I don’t understand how people reach them to request that they render services.

In fact, my recollection is that they’re often driving around and happen upon the situations that they address. Simply driving the back roads is not an efficient way of finding work. Consider the gas and lodging expenses. And every meal they’d eat would be restaurant food. Imagine their arteries after a couple years of that lifestyle.

There’s no evidence of any sort of system to reimburse them for their efforts. No bills issued, no one saying “thanks kids, here’s your check.” Scooby and Company seem to sort of have a job. An actual job pays for the time and expertise expended on behalf of another entity. The lack of funds coming in makes the entire  concept of the show implausible.

Daphne Vs. Velma

I’ve got a lot of issues with Scooby from a diversity stand point, but let’s address something just as insidious.

I do not approve of the message delivered by Daphne and Velma. Velma is portrayed as the sharper of the two women. Velma is also not much to look at, wears glasses and is poorly dressed. Daphne is the more appealing character and, despite figuring out a few mysteries, it is clear the Velma is far brighter.

Physical attractiveness is not correlated with IQ scores, reasoning ability or any of the other factors we use to evaluate how bright an individual is. It is possible to be good-looking and smart, but you’d never know that from watching Scooby.

The Velma/Daphne dichotomy presents young girls with a false choice. “Be pretty or be smart” is the hidden message. Sad. Very sad.

Surprisingly…

Scooby Doo has been popular for decades, despite my opinion. It shouldn’t be.

Poor business practices, young people adopting a nomadic existence, unfortunate messages for girls, and a dog who walks upright are just a few of the issues I have with the show. I don’t like it.

An earlier post regarding Shaggy is here.

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50 Comments on “I Don’t Like Scooby Doo”

  1. Would now be a good time to tell you my Beagle is named Scooby Doo? And I have two sweat shirt that say, “What would Scooby Doo?” I’ll concede that you make a few good points about ghosts and the portrayal of women. What amuses me is that you must watch the show a fair amount to form these conclusions or you were kept waiting a long time, some place where the television set was hijacked by toddlers. Sheesh, crocs, equestrian events, and now Scooby. . sigh.

  2. Debbie says:

    Scooby Doo hasn’t been on my “must see TV” agenda for years. That said, I have to agree with you — it’s just plain dumb!

    • omawarisan says:

      One of the advantages of paying all that college tuition is Scooby stops.

      I could still have this debate with the Omawari-son, but his debate skills are getting sharper and he opposes my business argument.

  3. shoutabyss says:

    So much meaning hidden in this little show. It almost makes my head hurt to ponder it. I know! A Scooby snack will make me feel better!

    You raise so many cogent points that perhaps, I think, you should drive the van…

  4. List of X says:

    3 comments for the price of one:
    Maybe they are just some trust fund babies with nothing better to do.
    Velma can’t be as bright as you think if she never figured out that there never are real monsters or ghosts.
    I can’t think of a single live action movie about a heroic cop, FBI agent or a superhero with a scene where they get their paycheck.

  5. Betty says:

    I’m sorry. I tried to read this entire post. But as someone who’s never watched a single minute of scooby doo, let alone an entire episode, I just couldn’t.

  6. K. Jean King says:

    Thank god you posted that. It had been keeping me up at night.

    • omawarisan says:

      I try to avoid controversy, but I know that people are very concerned with where I stand on the important issues of the day. Rest well tonight.

      Welcome to Blurt.

  7. I am sorry if my comment the other day stirred something up for you. So sorry.

    Technically, malfeasance could be considered demon-possession, so maybe Scooby could have solved it!

  8. Like you, I’ve always been disappointed that the gang never encountered a real monster. Like Wile E. Coyote never catching the Road Runner. Dang, that would’ve been interesting.

    Scooby-Doo has always been a staple in our house. In fact, I loved it more as an adult than as a kid. And I never had any concerns about the show’s messaging. Compared to every other show, movie and magazine we see these days, this show doesn’t even weigh in on the scale of false stereotypes. Daphne isn’t portrayed as a dumb blonde; it’s just that Velma is portrayed as an intellectual. And the latter isn’t unattractive; beauty is in the eye of the beholder, after all.

    • omawarisan says:

      It would have been interesting to see them run up against the real thing. I don’t think they’d planned for it.

      You’re right, Daphne wasn’t portrayed as a dumb blonde, but the contrast with Velma was really stark.

      Welcome to Blurt!

  9. ::giggle:: You said ‘malfeasance’.

    • omawarisan says:

      I had to. Have you priced malefaction or misconduct recently? They’ve gone through the roof. I’m not paying those prices when malfeasance is such a bargain.

  10. Katie says:

    I’m going to address the elephant in the blog post: Shaggy’s drug problem.

  11. The movies with real actors that were made recently were pretty good. The guy that played shaggy was absolutely perfect! Anyway, I think Velma is just one of those girls that needs to be in one of those Disney movies where the nerdy girl gets a makeover. I bet then she’d be smokin’ hot!!

  12. pegoleg says:

    Did it ever occur to you that maybe scary ghost projection is an underutilized modus operandi BECAUSE of the fine work Scooby & Co. have done? Maybe ghosts who are considering some sort of nefarious haunting say, “wait a minute. Before we start something, let’s consider the odds that a van full of sleuthing wunderkinds might show up and expose our spectral malfeasance.”

    Ever think of that? I thought not.

  13. dufmanno says:

    You have underestimated the potential harnessed power of groups of angry ghosts.

    I know someone who used them to get ahead and she’s never regretted it for a moment.

  14. knace says:

    Have you ever seen the Mitchell and Webb Scooby Doo sketch? If not, can I post a link here? I think, given your insightful comments, you MUST SEE IT. It is brilliant-my fav Mitchell and Webb skit ever. I keep insisting others watch it, and nobody seems to laugh hysterically the way I did when I first saw it. If I can’t , I suggest you look it up on YouTube!

    • omawarisan says:

      I will look it up as soon as I get home. I put a lot of stock in your opinion because you mentioned me and insightful in the same sentence.

      Welcome to Blurt. No, really, welcome.

  15. tokyo5 says:

    I never liked the Scooby-Doo show either.
    I’ve always been interested in monsters and I didn’t like that the monsters in that show were ALWAYS a person in a Halloween costume!

  16. I truly dislike that show. I would only watch it, to try and figure out what people liked about it.
    I never came to a conclusion on that one.
    Well done, wellllll done!

  17. Daile says:

    If the fan fiction and Scooby Doo porn is anything to go by, there are a lot of people who think Velma is pretty hot as well. Not that I’ve seen any of it of course.

  18. I liked Scooby Doo as a kid but now that you’ve parsed it like this, I’m ashamed of myself.


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