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Photos From My iPhone

I’ve never been one to keep a camera around. Now, things have changed. My problem isn’t that I don’t have a camera when I need it. The problem is my phone getting filled with photos that I thought were important.

Yesterday I cleared out some of the pictures in my phone. Today, I’m taking you on a tour of the gallery of shots that I found. Some, I think I had intentions of writing about. Others were just taken to make sure I could confirm what I thought I’d seen. I’ll even show you a few that I have no explanation of.

I’ll Bet The Neighbors Were Impressed

The first photo in our tour of The Omawarisan Gallery Of Photographic Art is an example of a photograph taken to let me confirm what I thought I saw. In this photo, we see that someone planted a tall, tapering bush in their front yard. Unsatisfied with that landscaping effect, they added two round shrubs in front of it.

Does this look like a…, well, sort of a shrubbery version of… ummmmm, never mind. I don’t know how to politely say what that clearly looks like. Anyhow, the Omawarisan Gallery Of Photographic Art congratulates the Johnson family of Ball Street in Cockeysville, Maryland for their unique concept in topiary design.

You Have To Break A Few Eggs…

I’m part of a team that teaches a week-long class. One of the sections that I teach is about communication. I usually open the class by juggling, because, why not? Juggling and why not led to the other instructors pushing me to do more. I added egg juggling to my opening. A few sessions ago, another instructor got in to the fridge and decorated my eggs before class…

Even good jugglers drop things. I’m not a good juggler. This was staring at me for an hour and fifteen minutes of my class…

Rich In Postassium

Our next exhibit is a man in a banana suit. We’ll pause here. Any reflections on this work?

Before we move on, I will point this out to you

  • If a picture has one person in it and their face is obscured, it always looks like that person did something wrong (this guy didn’t)
  • If a picture has two or more people in it, everyone whose face is not obscured looks like they did something wrong.

Could’a Been A Contender. Well, Not Really

Right this way. I took this picture with the idea that I would write something about how important it is to have goals. Not all my ideas are good.

How Do You Spell Love?

This is another shot I took intending to write about it. It never got much beyond “do you know what a good way to show your daughter you love her is? Spelling her name correctly.”

Ch-Ch-Ch-Chialltheaztecsdied

Here is a bag of Chia seeds. The big promotional claim for these seeds are that they are the “superfood of the Aztecs”.

Just a quick survey of those of you on the tour today.

Come Back On Monday

Thank you to all of you for coming along on today’s tour of The Omawarisan Gallery Of Photographic Art’s first floor. If you’ll all gather at the top of the stair case I will meet you there on Monday. On Monday we’ll tour the spacious and well lit second floor of The Omawarisan Gallery.

The second floor is known for housing some of The Gallery’s more shocking exhibits. Did I hear one of you say “even more shocking than a topiary talliwacker? How is that possible, Oma?” Well, did I hear one of you say that?

If I did hear you say it, I would tell you that few things are more shocking than a topiary talliwacker. If those shocking things exist, we’ll see them here on Monday.

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26 Comments on “Photos From My iPhone”

  1. Katie says:

    Mackenize is actually my middle name…

  2. Laura says:

    So… cats always land on their feet, toast always lands butter-side-down, and today I learned that eggs always land horrifying-clown-face-side-up.

  3. My nutritionist recommended chia. The brand I buy touts itself as the sacred food of the Aztec. Sacred translates as expensive.

  4. Had you not cleared your cell phone of these gems, imagine the scenario in 3013, when the Aztecs return and start an archeological dig to see what happened while they were vacationing in Alpha Centauri. “The Omawarisan people of last century appear to have particularly obsessed with male genitalia. And ugly eggs.”

    Maybe Mackenize is dyslexic.

  5. knace says:

    Last year the people at Nuts.com put a complimentary bag of chia seeds in one of my orders and I didn’t really know what to do with them, so I gave them to a more adventurous co-worker who then got fired so I don’t know what she ever did with them. Now I kind of wish I had kept them. For some reason, I thought they were an ancient Incan food. Maybe I’m thinking of Quinoa.
    p.s. Thank you so much for following my blog! You are the first and only! I feel like you deserve some sort of prize. If I had kept the chia seeds, I could have sent you them!

    • omawarisan says:

      You gave her chia and she got fired? Is there a drug test for that and if so, does that make you a pusher?

      Keep writing. More followers will come, you’ll see.

  6. Is that a topiary on your lawn or are you just happy to see me?

  7. I would be willing to bet you have everyone checking the gallery on their phone to see if they have anything even close to being as funny as these pics. A couple of things…I think someone should give that “topiary talliwacker” a circumcision late one night and see if anyone notices the next day. Also, I could not have continued teaching with Angry Eggman staring at me like that. I would have had to lay a paper towel over him or something. Of course that would only increase the odds that I would step on him sometime during the remainder of the class.

    • omawarisan says:

      The effect of having the egg there, looking up at me was funny. There were a few times when I looked down while getting a thought together and looked right at it.

  8. Snoring Dog Studio says:

    I am most disturbed by the fact that someone left his or her underwear inside the shaft part of the garden arrangement. Plus, there’s some other debris lying around as well. What’s wrong with those Johnsons in Cockeysville? Where’s the HOA when you really need them? Why more people in this world don’t juggle amazes me. We’d all be better off. George Bush needed to juggle. So does Grover Norquist.

  9. spencercourt says:

    Although my phone has a camera, I’ve never used it. Nothing happened to warrant a photo. And when something does happen, I’ll probably not be able to figure out how to use the camera.

  10. Daile says:

    I have worn the exact same banana costume to a party. I now wish all photographic evidence of me in banana suit had my face obscured too.


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