Five Routine Minutes: Jumping Off The ToiletPosted: July 10, 2013
Spiders and I don’t usually have issues with one another. Perhaps it is the knowledge that each of us is capable of destroying the other that keeps us from bothering each other.
Now and again, one of us wanders too far into the world the other lives in. Sometimes the intruder pays a cost when that happens. Straying into spider territory got me a little bite on my arm.
A few days later, a spider came too far into my world. There was a spider web in my bathroom, near the ceiling.
I stood up on the lid to reach the web and get rid of the spider.
Do you know what isn’t a good step-ladder? A toilet. I got the job done anyhow.
Perhaps getting a good push-off when I jumped off the can was not a good idea. The hinges that connect the seat and lid to the porcelain broke. The seat moved, that threw me off-balance…
I placed the seat back on the toilet. That was a mistake.
Late that night, I woke up and needed to go to the bathroom. Half asleep, I staggered toward potty time. I plopped myself on the seat without remembering that nothing but gravity was holding it to the W.C.. The seat slid and fell off the side. So did I.
I thought I showed good form. The Czech judge disagreed.
Somewhere, a spider is having the last laugh
Post Script – I was eating lunch while I drafted this. After the Kung Pao Chicken came the fortune cookie. Spooky, spooky fortune cookie.