A Murder Of Crows Consider Murder


Crows are more mobile than bread. (Photo credit: Danny Chapman)

The crows gathered around half of a sandwich roll in a parking lot. I know how the crows got there. The arrival of the roll is a mystery.

How their bounty got to the lot didn’t matter to the crows. They knew how the roll would leave the lot. They worked together in that “every man for himself” way that crows have. Bite by bite, the roll headed toward its destiny.

One of the group lifted his head from the meal. The others looked his way. That crow said something that the others agreed with. I’m not certain, but I think he said “poppy seeds add so much to a roll”.

Papaver somniferum seeds. தமிழ்: கசகசா.

Poppy seeds. What’s the point? (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I don’t agree. Poppy seeds don’t contribute to my enjoyment of a roll. I didn’t mention that to the group; it didn’t seem like a situation that was waiting for my input.

While the crows ratified their agreement on poppy seeds, the situation changed. A crow who seemed an outsider to the group swooped in from a light post.

Landing in the midst of the crows who’d excluded him, he hoisted the roll in his beak. The interloper strode through the crowd. When he gained enough space, he took two quick steps. Wings spread wide, he flew off with his loot.

When that happened, those who were eating seemed to realize why a group of their species is called a murder of crows. The crows called for vengeance. A posse formed. That posse took flight on a mission to bring the thief to justice, or perhaps just to snatch back their roll.

It was in that moment of flapping wings and raspy calls that I believe I figured out how to say “Hey, asshole” in crow.


45 Comments on “A Murder Of Crows Consider Murder”

  1. Linda Sand says:

    Poppy seeds are only good in lemon muffins. Even then don’t eat them if you are going to have to pass a drug test soon.

  2. Well-played! A brood of chickens would have handled the situation quite differently, one assumes.
    Chickens love poppy seed.

  3. When someone makes off with your roll, it’s time to roll.

  4. I have the same feeling about poppy seeds…they only taste good on lemon muffins. Crows in numbers always seems like a bad sign. When I see them, I run in the opposite direction.

    • omawarisan says:

      I’ve never been able to figure what poppy seeds add. Maybe if chefs think “you know what this needs?” but they can’t answer the question they just throw poppy seeds on top and consider it done.

  5. Laura says:

    Some days I feel like a murder of crows; some days I feel like an exaltation of larks.

  6. Blogdramedy says:

    Have you ever eaten crow? It’s hard to swallow. *grin*

  7. We Found Him Captain! says:

    Q: What do you call a bunch of hobos who have found a loaf of stale French bread?
    A: A trample…..get it? I’m just saying……tramp-le.

  8. Snoring Dog Studio says:

    I’m glad I wasn’t around to watch the pummeling that thief received. I bet he’ll never attempt that move again. There are bullies everywhere! Who says nature is such a lovely, harmonious place? WHO?

  9. knace says:

    Crows are fascinating! Did you know they have the ability to remember individual human faces and to communicate to other crows which human faces have done them wrong? Which is why I don’t recommend picking a fight with one or taking a crow’s sandwich. (I don’t actually recommend taking anyone’s sandwich.) When I was a kid in the Philippines there was a really big species of crow that would sit in the trees and drop things on my dog if she was sitting out in the yard chewing a bone until she would get up and leave the bone. Smart!

  10. Katie says:

    Remember that episode of Seinfeld about the poppy seeds? That kind of ruined them for me.

  11. Betty says:

    A murder of crows. Thank you for that bit of “learn something new every day.”

  12. I think I work with a bunch of crows…

  13. If you’ve never seen a murder of crows tearing apart a chicken wing, you’ve never really fully seen a murder of crows. Total species on species abuse.

    • omawarisan says:

      No. I did see a guy I work with have his way with a chicken wing. I think what he did is still against the law in Mississippi and in most Middle Eastern nations.

  14. Poppyseeds only make things messy.

  15. I admire a crow that refuses to attend a meeting about poppy seeds, takes charge and focuses on results.

  16. Debbie says:

    The “alpha crow” scores again! Serves the others right for acting like sheep.

  17. It’s like reading the transcript from a particularly fine David Attenborough nature documentary. I would have thought the crows would have pecked the hell outta the interloper crow. I’m surprised/disappointed. I wonder what seagulls would have done. Because if I learned anything from Finding Nemo, it’s that seagulls are always saying “Mine.”

    • omawarisan says:

      I’m not sure what happened when the posse caught up with the roll rustler. The head crow might have said “string the varmint up, boys.”

      Of course, being a crow, he would have eaten the roll while the posse was doing its deed.

  18. Sorry to burst your bubble but that was a called play. You see the crows had to fake out the little sparrows and such or the little buzz bombers would have stole the roll, poppy seeds be danged, no matter how many crows were present.
    On a lighter note poppy seeds suck major nether region.

    • omawarisan says:

      So it was more of a “let’s take this, over here”?

      • I wasn’t there but it sounds a lot like the Crows version of the sports play the “Shake ‘n’ Bake”.
        Or maybe the were teenage Crows, and that was their mom, and they had to figure out how to get her some food without looking bad in front of their peers….Your translation of Crow points more to the later possibility.

  19. lbwoodgate says:

    It’s amazing how such expressions as “hey asshole” quickly develop a universality about them.

  20. audreyhipbone says:

    The last crow turns back to the murder and says “That’s just how I roll!”

  21. spencercourt says:

    I’m a sesame seed person…

  22. Your stance on poppy seeds is probably beneficial in your trade. They can really wreak havoc with those random drug tests. Personally, I enjoy my poppy seeds.
    This was a brilliant post.

  23. pieterk515 says:

    I actually did a post some months back on other weird collective names of the English language. If you’re bored, on the toilet, or just interested in random useless facts, you can check it out here.

So, what's on your mind?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s