Where Do Oreos Come From?

Some years ago, I got to explain where babies come from. I think I got the point across. Maybe I was able to handle the task because I knew what I was talking about. That class I took on the topic in sixth grade helped after all. Knowing what you’re talking about helps.

English: Two regular Oreo cookies. Please chec...

These, in pudding. Yeah. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I’m happy that my son didn’t ask me where Oreo cookies come from. It turns out I didn’t know as much about the topic as I believed I did.

On a recent road trip, my car’s alternator gave up the ghost. I spent the night in an unfamiliar town, then walked back to the garage where I had the car towed and waited for the mechanic to finish the repair.

‘Tis Ain’t The Season

I ate lunch at a barbecue joint down the street. As I did, I learned that I didn’t know where Oreos come from. On the restaurant’s menu board was this entry:

Oreo Pudding (Seasonal)……….$1.95

Oreo Pudding sounded delicious, but I opted out of having any. Something made from Oreos can’t be healthy. That’s not why I didn’t have any.

I didn’t order the pudding because I didn’t know there was an Oreo season. What a fool I would’ve looked like if I’d ordered the dessert when the cookies were out of season.

After my car was ready, I drove home and looked in to why Oreo pudding is a seasonal dessert. It turns out that Oreo season occurs in late spring/early summer. You can probably imagine how relieved I was that I hadn’t ordered pudding in September.

Growing Oreos

Unlike money, Oreos grow on trees. These cookie trees grow quickly in full sun. For maximum yield, Oreo trees need a cool and moist spring. Strong winds can destroy the cookies before they are ready by blowing them off their stems before their time.

Machines can’t harvest this crop. Skilled migrant workers pick the cookies by hand to avoid crushing the delicate wafers.

Once picked, the cookies are rushed to a processor to be wrapped in cellophane. The Oreos are best when they’re packaged within two days. The high spoilage rates of the cookies make them a high risk, high reward crop for farmers. Not just anyone is up to the task of tending an Oreo orchard.

…If You Don’t Believe This Lie Is True…

I’m certain about where babies came from because of sixth grade family living class. I likely won’t ever have a good grasp of why Oreo Pudding is a seasonal menu item.

I’ve figured out that there are times when it is critical to know what you’re talking about. There are also times when you can fake it. There’s nothing wrong with knowing your business nor with improvising.

But it is a mistake to believe that the world doesn’t understand when you’re faking it. Acting as if you’re not making it up as you go along is demeaning to those around you.

Talking down to folks is always out of season.

40 Comments on “Where Do Oreos Come From?”

  1. Are double stuff Oreos like twins?

  2. Dan Hennessy says:

    Oreo pudding ? When’s cookie season ? Pudding season ? Where can I get some Oreo seeds ?

  3. Laura says:

    Well, of course it’s not Oreo season. It’s candy corn season.

    Also, Oreo pudding sounds disgusting to me. I can see them in ice cream or cheesecake, but Oreos in something as mushy as pudding just seems wrong.

  4. Betty says:

    But what about the fudge dipped Oreos? They can’t possibly do well in the heat of summer. Perhaps that’s a special winter crop?

  5. lbwoodgate says:

    I’m glad you explained this Oma otherwise I would have interpreted Oreo season as a reference to the expiration date on the package.

  6. Snoring Dog Studio says:

    Whoa, wait a minute! Were those Oreos stuffed with pumpkin-flavored icing? You didn’t ask, did you? They’d totally be in season if they were. I bet they were. Yummy. Pumpkin Oreo goodness in a creamy pudding pond.

  7. ” Something made from Oreos can’t be healthy.”—It’s like I don’t even know who you are anymore.

    Dad, they count as dairy.

  8. We Found Him Captain! says:

    Oreo plants are grown in between rows of corn and harvested at the same time. Thus the very limited availability of a fresh crop. The same is true for cellophane seeds, they are planted between rows of tobacco and harvested together. If you have too much rain? No cellophane. No cellophane? No Oreo pudding! It’s that simple.

    This information was furnished by our old friend, Jimmy “Cracked his own Corn” Johnson. The NASCAR driver who hit the wall hard in 1955.

  9. pieterk515 says:

    So Blurt, next time let’s try and be like really random in our posts…

  10. Oreo Season! No Wabbit Season! Oreo Season!

  11. knace says:

    When I lived in the U.K. I offered an Oreo to a Scottish friend of mine who had incredibly, never seen or heard of Oreos before (The damp climate isn’t suitable for growing Oreos) She examined it suspiciously and took a wee bite. I waited. “I suppose it’s an acquired taste.” She said diplomatically. Crazy! But then, these are the people who gave us Haggis.

    • omawarisan says:

      What?? This makes me rethink my position on Scotland entirely. Maybe not, you probably hit the one person who couldn’t appreciate the goodness. I hope that’s the case, though I’m sure she was otherwise a fine person.

      Haggis. What were they thinking?

  12. Katie says:

    You can tell an Oreo is out of season when it doesn’t twist apart easily. My great grandmother taught me that. She was a second generation Oreo farmer.

  13. The things I did not know about Oreos. Of course, I am not an Oreo eater (please don’t tell anyone as I know this is unAmerican). Wait…I’m not American so it doesn’t really matter.

  14. Debbie says:

    Okay, let me get this straight. Oreos grow on trees?? Funny, I’m living here in the nation’s breadbasket (or so they say), and I’ve never seen an Oreo tree. But if Oreos grow on trees, like apples, then that must mean they’re GOOD for us. Right? Say I’m right…you know you want to!!

  15. mikegee64 says:

    I once had the good fortune to eat an Oreo that was still warm, hot off the production line at the factory. It was a thing of beauty.

    Oreos have positioned themselves well in the market. They started out with a single product of high quality and almost universal acclaim. They eclipsed their imitators to the point where eating a counterfeit Oreo compels the consumer to verbally proclaim that Oreos are better. Think about it, you cannot eat a Hydrox without being compelled to speak of their inferiority.

    The only exception to that rule is when one makes homemade Oreos, which I have done. While the recipe I have is outstanding, they are still slightly off, but that is forgivable because they are homemade, warm, and you can make them whatever size you want and can put in as much cream as you would like.

    You might not order Oreo Pudding, but the fact is, you want to. Do not deny it. There are hundreds of Oreo related products in the stores now. And even if some sound odd, you still want to try them (Watermelon Golden Oreos?)

    You will even convince yourself that something with Oreos in it might be good, despite the fact the idea might be disgusting. For example “Oreo Crusted Chicken Fingers”… You just said to yourself “Ew!” but then you remembered that you once had Cap’n Crunch Chicken Fingers, and you said “It might work though….”

    Oreo even survived being considered a racial slur for a time. THAT is some cookie goodness my friend.

    By the way, Chips-A-Hoy cookies suck. In all shapes and forms.

  16. dufmanno says:

    Your “Family Living” class mislead you.

    Lies. All lies.

    As for Oreo season? I guess if people just like to run around and make shit up for no good reason that works;)

So, what's on your mind?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s