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Michael Jordan Doesn’t Even Brag Well Anymore

English: Picture of Michael Jordan at a basket...

While I’m at it, ANYONE would be a better team owner. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Kids argue.

Back when I was one of those arguing kids, there was always one of my kind in the neighborhood who would go off on a bizarre tangent when I’d get a logical leg up on him: “my dad could beat up your dad.”

Stupid, Yet Effective

The hypothetical dad battle was stupid, yet effective.

It never had anything to do with what we were arguing about. We knew that our fathers would never come to blows over a debate on whether four foul kicks should equal an out in kickball. The dad fight debate was a pointless waste of time.

But the strategy was effective because it played upon my inability to allow my father to be talked down. I’d forget about the argument I was winning in order to prevail in this more important challenge.

In an interview promoting a video game that he has a stake in, Michael Jordan ran through a list of players that he said he could have beaten in his prime. Perhaps he is right. Maybe he isn’t.

Stupid, But I’m Writing About Him, Soooo…

West's silhouette serves as the current NBA logo.

Jerry West. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I understand that fact falls by the wayside when promotion is the goal. Things get said. Claims are made that may or may not be supportable. It’s even permissible to brag a bit when you’re promoting something. However, I think bragging about how you’d prevail in a hypothetical match-up that will never be resolved goes too far.

Jerry West is one of the players MJ is certain he would have beaten. Mr. West is one of the greatest players in NBA history. Perhaps you know the NBA logo, the red, white, and blue framed silhouette of a player? That’s Jerry West; he is literally iconic.

(Can I get an amen for correctly using literally?)

Mr. West is 75 years old. He retired ten years before Jordan played. To debate this matter is pointless; the question can’t be resolved.

Jordan is employing the dad fight gambit. His PR people should be ashamed.

I’m not above some self-promotion now and again. In the spirit of increasing the readership of my blog, I am going to Michael Jordan-like levels of shamelessness by making the following claims:

  • In my prime, I would have dunked on Jordan.*
  • I would have invented the phonograph a year sooner than Edison.
  • Jonas Salk’s experimental methods do not hold a candle to mine.
  • Had I, and not Joseph Avenol, been the Secretary-General of The League of Nations from 1933-1940, World War II wouldn’t have happened.
  • I knew Joseph Avenol was the Secretary-General of the League of Nations from 1933-1940 without Googling it.

Hypothetical bragging makes a person look desperate – as desperate as that kid down the street whose dad would have taken a beating if my dad ever became passionate about what the rules of kickball should be.

* I am willing to concede that I am 5'8" and might be over-reaching here. I would have struck him out 
when he played baseball. Everyone struck Jordan out.
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29 Comments on “Michael Jordan Doesn’t Even Brag Well Anymore”

  1. Michael Jordan is still around? Haven’t heard about in ages.

  2. Blogdramedy says:

    The man’s got to find a way to pay for his ear bling.

  3. We Found Him Captain! says:

    Amen!!

  4. prostreetonline says:

    Bravo… or should I say.. amen

  5. My Dad couldn’t beat up anyone’s Dad…but I bet he could drink them under the table.

  6. Michael Jordan needs to remind people he was once a great basketball player, because there is a generation of youngsters who think that his only accomplishment is shilling tag-less underwear.

  7. pieterk515 says:

    I bet I could beat up your dad…

  8. And the people said “Amen”

  9. Snoring Dog Studio says:

    I don’t care if Jordan wants to challenge anyone as long as it doesn’t involve twerking.

  10. pegoleg says:

    Joseph Avenol was OK, but I preferred Sean Connery in that movie.

  11. spencercourt says:

    Hopefully, “Air” Jordan knew to stay away from saying he could outshoot “Pistol Pete.” Any tall person can dunk…

    And if I were Gen. Lee, I’d have known better than to get sucked into a battle over shoes at Gettysburg when my cavalry was elsewhere and I was blind.


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