You Should Be Afraid Of Reciept HoldersPosted: May 25, 2014
There are very few things that really scare me. I’m confident in my ability to assess things that are threatening and find the best way to resolve the problems those things bring. My abilities and the fact that there are few things that freak me out have gotten me through some very challenging situations.
That’s not to say that I’m fearless. Certain things creep me out. For instance, I’m afraid of slugs. That is a reasonable fear.
I know that slugs won’t hunt me down. If a wild slug cornered me, I could elude it. The danger of slugs, the reason that they are one of my fears, is that I’m not always looking for them. If I’m not looking for slugs, I might step on one of them. By stepping on a slug, I would get that slug’s disgusting squishiness on my foot. The only cure would be to amputate my foot.
Sort Of Irrational, Sort Of Not
My fear of slugs isn’t an irrational fear, but I’ll admit that I have a few that don’t make a lot of sense. By a few, I really mean one in particular. Those metal spike receipt holders that you commonly see in restaurants and offices scare me.
No one likes a lot of loose papers blowing around; the problem is even worse when those papers are important receipts you’ll need to count up the day’s business proceeds. One day, an innovative office worker came up with the spike receipt holder. Voila! No more scraps of paper blowing around. Problem solved…or is it?
A six-inch-long, upward pointing, metal spike just seems like the wrong way to fix the problem. It is just a way to trade a minor problem for a major ophthalmic emergency.
Is it right that for years adults insisted that I shouldn’t play with pointed sticks because I might put someone’s eye out, but somehow pointed sticks are acceptable in a business environment? Of course not. A pointed stick is a pointed stick. An eye is an eye. Pointed sticks and eyes don’t get along in any environment.
Yes, A Nice DMV Woman
Pointed sticks and eyes do not belong in the same area code. Yet, on my last visit to the Department Of Motor Vehicles, the nice woman who helped me with my car’s tag was forced to manage her receipts on one of these spiky nightmares. “How horrible”, I thought, “that the state thinks so little of this woman that they put her at risk in that way”.
And then the other night I had dinner at a favorite bar. The bartender rang up another patron’s tab; when it was signed she jammed it over one of these dreadful spikes. It terrified me on her behalf. I wanted to ask her to keep my dinner warm while I went to buy her some goggles. A shiny metal spike does not make sense for this woman who works in the narrow, wet-floored space behind a bar.
I know the man who owns the restaurant where this bartender works; he’s a good guy. I’m certain that he values the ophthalmic health of his employees over efficient paper handling.
He’s probably just not thinking right.
He’s probably not thinking like I am.
Those last two sentences are interchangeable.
Shakespeare, Cicero, Matthew or someone once said that the eyes are the windows to the soul. I don’t want anyone’s windows to get broken, so I’m starting a campaign to eliminate metal spike paper holders from businesses and homes.
It’s my irrational fear and I can spread it if I want to. So can you. Speak up against paper holder spikes.