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The Danger Of Ebola

Ebola. Have you heard about it? Maybe heard about it way too much? Ebola is the latest reason that we’re all going to die.

Ebola, or an abstract line drawing of a reclining mermaid. (image public domain)

A few months ago, wandering airliners were going to do us in. Between Ebola and Air Malaysia was Joan Rivers’ plastic surgeon; that guy was going to kill everyone. E coli on cantaloupes was the most dangerous thing on earth not so long ago. Before that, bird flu and swine flu – they were going to finish us for sure.

Yup, Ebola’s going to do it, this is definitely the big one. Sure, a person can’t get the disease without having direct contact with the bodily fluids of someone with the disease. Oh, yeah, I’m leaving out the thing that’s going to get most of us – contact with infected bats. I touch so many bats every day; odds are that eventually I will touch an infected one.

Look, Here’s The Thing…

You’re not going to get Ebola. You’re just plain not going to unless you do something clever, like get an Ebola patient’s breast milk in your eye.

I lose no sleep over who can marry who. I lose sleep over this. (photo by me)

And yet, there is so much media driven hysteria and panic causing people to reach ridiculous conclusions.

On a large scale, consider that religious figures in the US and Liberia have blamed the existence and spread of the virus on gays and lesbians. This is plain silly.

We all know that there’s no way gay people have time to get involved with this virus situation because similar religious types been telling us that gays already have a project – destroying marriage as an institution. There are only so many hours in a day.

Individuals Are Over The Top Too

Yesterday, I was in a grocery store. I passed the cereal aisle and happened to hear a young woman say something to her mother about granola. I turned down the next aisle in time to hear a couple discussing whether the woman had really said “I have Ebola” and what they should do.

A little known symptom of Ebola causes those infected to blurt out their diagnosis. This is another reason why we don’t have to worry about the disease. With those infected unable to keep from identifying themselves as dangerous incubators of the virus, the disease telegraphs its potentially fatal punch so we can easily duck it.

A few days before that incident, I overheard another conversation about how quickly the parties felt the virus was spreading. An older man wrapped up his contribution to that conversation with the statement “they should take anyone with a fever and throw them off a bridge”.

Throwing feverish people off a bridge seems like a very reasoned response to the problem. I’m sure that gentleman would want to be handled in exactly the same way. Oh, and he’d want the same for his grandchildren too. Kids don’t get fevers do they? No, not unless it’s Ebola. Yeah, kids are just walking Petri dishes who are the perfect environment for the murderous virus to grow.

The Biggest Danger

The thing most likely to cause you, me or anyone that we know, a problem during this latest crisis is media fueled panic. The biggest danger isn’t from a soulless virus; panic is more likely to do any of us in.

Someone will read this and be incensed that we don’t agree about how dangerous this thing is. I’m sorry.

Please don’t throw me off a bridge.

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29 Comments on “The Danger Of Ebola”

  1. xacrest says:

    Oma, that’s a very specific ‘clever’ thing and I’m not sure how you came up with it, but great post nonetheless 😉

    • omawarisan says:

      Thank you. I wish I could tell you the grocery couple and the bridge guy were figments of my imagination, but those two things happened.
      The rest came to me in the midst of a fever.

  2. List of X says:

    Don’t forget that gays are also the ones causing earthquakes and tornadoes, if you believe the same sources.

    • omawarisan says:

      That’s right! You know, maybe I’m stereotyping, but gay people must all be very efficient to get all this done and live their lives too.

      I think autumn is a gay project too. The leaves fall. We all have to clean them up, but they look fabulous.

  3. Tito Puente and his orchestra says:

    Dear Dr. Oz, Can I get emola from drinking expired chocolate milk? I think I had some on my birthday. Should I call a priest?

  4. Sandy says:

    So what you’re saying is that if I see a gay person, who obviously had plastic surgery, with Ebola carrying a cantaloupe I should be concerned…. Got it !!!

  5. haha excellent post. I particularly enjoyed the bat comments

  6. Thanks for this! A little humor goes a long way.

  7. How do we know ebola isn’t a computer virus? Maybe you just gave it to me.

  8. Dan Hennessy says:

    I’m not worried about ebola or granola . The bat thing , though , concerns me . I’m worried about being worried too much . It’s giving me a fever . I’m also worried that I don’t worry enough . But I’m sure I don’t have ebola despite the fever —unless I take a flight .

  9. How sad is it that all I could think of while reading this was about the song, “Fever”. No. Not the Peggy Lee version or any of the well known versions, but the Tony & Angela version from “Who’s The Boss?”.

    I fear it is too late for me. Burn everything and save yourselves.

  10. Ned's Blog says:

    I worry more about airns overhearing a Justin Bieber concert and destroying the plant than I do about Canola. Oops… I mean Ebola.

  11. Yep, I heard a conspiracy theorist say that the ebola scare was the NRA’s idea so people would stop noticing all the deaths that were being caused by guns.

    Great post!

    • omawarisan says:

      Thank you. There’s just a lot of paranoia. It is a shame that someone is required to be scapegoated and no one is required to help people living in the kind of conditions in Africa that allow this disease to flourish

  12. Jeff says:

    I turned to a book on the Black Death to learn what Ebola could mean for human survival:

    https://recentitems.wordpress.com/2014/10/08/the-black-death-and-ebola/

    A similar narrative to blaming gays circulated, namely, blaming the Jews – typically for poisoning wells.

    • omawarisan says:

      Yeah, I guess the Jews were busy when Ebola hit town. I’m sorry to get to your comment late, but an interesting coincidence that I’m getting to it today when I over heard at lunch that Jews were responsible for marijuana being legalized in Colorado. I guess stupid bigots have to eat too.


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