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What You Need To Know About Memory Foam Mattresses

So you’re thinking about buying a memory foam mattress. Well, you’ve come to the right place. I’m here to tell you everything you need to know to help you decide if one of these mattresses are right for you.

The Wine Glass

Most importantly, the thing about a glass of wine not spilling if you jump on the mattress is true. To be truthful about this, I must tell you that I haven’t bounced on my mattress. Like many of you, I have a ceiling fan that precludes that sort of thing. But I put a bottle of water* on the bed and slammed the mattress really hard with both arms; the water did not spill.

Not likely to spill. (image public domain)

If you have water, wine, motor oil, or any other liquid in a container next to you on a memory foam mattress it will stand there, nice and steady for you. Don’t be deceived by that. If you bump your glass of wine (or motor oil) with your elbow, it will tip over and spill. Memory foam can not suspend the laws of physics.

Odds are that you were under seven years old the last time you bounced on your mattress. You probably didn’t like wine back then. When you reach the age that you can buy your own mattress, you’re a lot more likely to enjoy wine but probably never mattress jump. Liking wine and liking jumping on your bed occur at two different times in the human life cycle.

Having a mattress that allows you to enjoy wine between jumps is possible due to memory foam technology, but it is over-rated.

Does It Really Remember?

It looks like it remembers. So do I. We both forget embarrassingly quickly. (image via Johan CCbySA3.0)

Memory foam mattresses don’t have an actual memory. If you came to my house and pulled the fitted sheet off the bed, there would not be a print of my butt in it. My mattress doesn’t seem to recall who I am when I return to it. It doesn’t miss me after I get up in the morning. My mattress and I have never reminisced.

When I go to bed, my bed doesn’t seem to remember my body. What happens should more properly be called re-learning. I lie back, the bed re-learns my backside and molds itself to support it. Once that happens, I sleep like a baby.

So the concepts of memory and mattress don’t really overlap, except in an advertising concept. The idea of a mattress that remembers your body is appealing, unless you’re losing or gaining weight. No one needs a mattress to pass judgment on them. Fortunately, with no memory, your “memory foam mattress” can’t criticize you for putting on a few extra pounds.

Do Not Disturb

There’s one other thing that you might have heard about these mattresses that is true. You will not disturb the person next to you by moving in your sleep. Roll over, move your legs, get up to use the rest room. It won’t jostle them.

My wife sleeps better on our new mattress. Part of that is because of the way it supports her. But we can attribute some of the improvement to the fact that, like the wine glass, she isn’t disturbed by me rolling over or my incessant sleep-jumping.

Curiously, though my wife can glide in and out of bed without waking me, the cat disturbs me each time he arrives or departs. I haven’t figured out why that’s the case. I want to blame the mattress, but it may just be that the cat doesn’t know how it works.

So, Should You Buy?

Well, yeah! Assuming that you’ve got a few extra bucks sitting around and the heat is still on in your house, the improved sleep is worth it.

You don’t even have to like wine to appreciate one of these mattresses. And remember, if after buying a memory foam mattress you feel tempted to try bouncing on it to see if you can tip that wine glass over, you’re probably a lot taller than the last time you treated your bed like a trampoline – that ceiling fan is closer than you think.

* If I’d used wine and it would have spilled, my wife would have been inconsolable from the loss.

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8 Comments on “What You Need To Know About Memory Foam Mattresses”

  1. Blogdramedy says:

    I love my memory foam mattress. However, I’m concerned I’m not putting enough cash aside for when it starts to lose its memory and I have to look for a retirement home.

    Any advice?

    • omawarisan says:

      The memory foam mattress is very heavy. If you put your money under there it will be safe from intruders. I’m really not sure about how to get or save the money that you’d put there.

  2. I bought a new mattress a few months ago. It’s a pillow top. It doesn’t seem to remember me either, but I feel like it should for the money I paid for it.

  3. It doesn’t remember you at all? It doesn’t look at you, shake a finger, and say “I know you from somewhere?” What is the point, then?

  4. I wonder if it is too late to return my mattress and get one of those. Your review would have turned the vote when we were shopping, I’m sure. Loved the video.

  5. larva225 says:

    When we bought our latest mattress, I steered clear of the memory foam. For starters, it cradled my ass about as well as a granite boulder. Secondly, I acknowledged that my spawn WOULD be jumping on my bed, and wanted to prevent the shattered ankles.

  6. Dan Hennessy says:

    All I know is the Goodwill Store near here stopped selling mattresses . I checked . If I win the lottery I’ll let you know how my new memory mattress is , and I’ll stock some expensive wine to bounce on it . I can hardly wait !

  7. knace says:

    We have a super duper deluxe vibrating adjustable dual control Tempurpedic king. And it was worth every single penny. And there were a lot of pennies involved, it being a Tempurpedic. I tell my hubby, if we were to get a divorce, we’d have to work out some sort of arrangement with the bed, ’cause I want my half!
    =)


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