I’m Sick Of FrozenPosted: February 27, 2015
You know what? Enough is enough. Though I have not seen (and will not ever see) the movie Frozen, I am officially sick of it.
As best I can tell from the blizzard of crap for sale in stores, the movie has three characters. There is a blonde girl who smirks a lot, a red-haired girl who seems secondary to the blonde girl and a snow man who looks like a demented pile of soft-serve ice cream. They live somewhere cold, because, well, Frozen, right? Of course it is frozen; soft-serve ice cream can’t just walk around on a magical island near the equator, can it?
Some time in the film, someone sings a song about letting something go. Let it go – wonderfully simplistic advice. Let’s all just do that. We’ll just let things go and everything will be alright. That ALWAYS works.
The song led to a flurry of people posting videos on the internet of their kid singing about letting it go, whatever “it” might be for a four-year old. Ok, we get it, you have a cute child. Congratulations on your fertility. Stop posting videos of them singing that song. Let it go.
The thing is, no one is letting it go. People keep buying stuff with that smirking girl’s face on it, so the stores keep stocking more. Costumes, lunch boxes, greeting cards, food products, sporting goods, pet toys – just about anything you’d want is available with a smirking girl or the soft-serve dude on it. Curiously, I don’t think there’s been a market developed for condoms with the Frozen characters on them…yet. I’m sure someone at Disney is looking into a way to get men to over come their aversion to the idea of cold things in that region.
Recently I saw disposable diapers with Frozen characters printed on them. Why? Why diapers? Does having your child soil your favorite Disney character mean so much that you’ll pay more for diapers? Let’s face it, it isn’t for the kid; the design is on her backside where she can’t see it!
My friends, I am drawing a line in the snow. Enough Frozen. I’m asking you to stop buying this crap, at least for a while. I’m sure they’ll have a sequel out soon enough and this will start all over again but until that time, let it go…let it go…let it go.
You want frozen? Try Boston.