What Can We Learn About Male Frequent Urination From Steve Winwood?Posted: April 27, 2015
When we were growing up, it was common for those in my generation to go on car trips with our parents. I suppose that you could say that we were the first generation to spend so much time on the road. And part of the ritual of those long drives was hearing our parents say “shouldn’t you go to the bathroom before we start?”
Parents loading the kids into a Conestoga wagon and heading to the Great Plains didn’t ask that question. We were the first to hear that. And now that we are older, gentlemen of my generation are the first to endure constant reminders of an unpleasant reality. Television advertising for some prescription medications has pounded into our heads that, as men age, we have to make more trips to the restroom.
This Shouldn’t Be Difficult
But despite that head pounding, despite the reality of “going” over and over, many of my peers can’t seem to remember that nature will call. Not only will nature call, she will call more often than she did when we were twenty or thirty. If only our memories were as good as they were back then.
Now, I’m sure that some would wonder why I think that how often they do their business is any of my business. The answer is that, for the most part, it isn’t. In fact, because I walk that same worn down path to the urinal as my peers, I understand what they’re enduring. What I don’t understand is that so many of those peers can’t seem to remember that they will have to go to the bathroom sooner than they’d like to.
Not long ago, I attended a Steve Winwood concert. Winwood, a veteran of such influential bands as The Spencer Davis Group, Traffic, and Blind Faith, has been great for decades. He has been great for so many decades that he falls in to the age cohort that is said to be prone to those frequent urges to head to the rest room. And yet this man, who is nearly sixty-seven years old, never left the stage during his performance, even for a moment. I watched him standing in the wings before he returned to the stage for an encore. He didn’t require a potty break.
However, a disproportionately male part of the audience did require a potty break throughout the show. I stood to let several gentlemen from my seating row pass by on their way to the lavatory and then return. The man two seats down from me? He made two trips to the rest room. Meanwhile, on stage, Steve Winwood played for an hour and forty-five minutes without going to the bathroom…and he consumed several bottles of water during the performance.
Does He Have A Bladder Like A Volleyball?
How is it that this musician was able to perform for nearly two hours without stopping to pee while so many members of the audience couldn’t sit through the performance? Perhaps Mr. Winwood, besides being musically gifted, was born with an exceedingly large bladder. But if we assume that to be true, we must also assume that all the members of his band had genetically mutated, high-capacity bladders. That just isn’t statistically likely.
What is more likely is that Steve Winwood, his band, and I all do the same thing before a show – we visit the restroom.
I don’t understand why more of our contemporaries do not take this logical step. Nor do I understand why some of us load up on liquids before a show. The gentleman in my row who made two bathroom trips drank two beers and a bottle of water in the forty-five minutes before the show. His tiny, elderly bladder didn’t stand a chance against that torrent; he should have known that.
Gentlemen over fifty, I beseech you to remember the lessons of those early car trips and apply them to being a good audience member. Avoid excess liquids and stop by the restroom before the show starts. And, if you can’t bring yourself to plan for the inevitable call of nature, at least do the rest of us a favor and don’t get up from your seat (or return to it) during a song.