My Latest Idea To Make Myself A Constant Presence In Your Life

On my most recent visit to a physician, I had a great idea.

This isn’t me, yet. (image public domain)

You kids at home can learn something from that. People like me are always open to inspiration wherever we find it. In this case, I was left alone in a room in a medical office. I didn’t get on my phone and text my friends to tell them how bored I was. Instead, I became one with my environment and let it spark my creativity.

So there I was, sitting on a paper covered table, looking around…thinking. Thinking about why I had to sit on the table for a hearing test. Thinking about how I hate tongue depressors. Thinking about the posters on the wall.


Thoughts From The Paper Covered Table

The posters in a doctor’s office are interesting. I’m not talking about the posters that say something like “Smoking is bad for you” or “Hey, that thing growing out of your neck – you might want to bring that up with the doctor”. What catches my eye are the posters that depict someone with half their skin removed to show where all their organs and inner parts are.

Seeing that particular sort of poster in my doctor’s office raised a lot of questions. “I wonder how much that guy got paid to pose for that?”, I thought. “Does he ever use the poster as a guide to poke himself to see if he can feel his spleen?” “Do people recognize him on the street?”

Riding that train of thought brought me to the inspiration for the best idea I had that entire day. I want to be the guy on that poster. The next time you visit the doctor, I’d like to be smiling down at you from the wall.

I’m There For You In Two Dimensions, Or Three. Whatever It Takes.

I look for ways to let each of you know that I’m there for you, wherever “there” is. When you go to the Doctor, I’m concerned. I want to be supportive and comforting, but it isn’t appropriate or practical for me to go with you when you need health care.

But I could establish a presence in the examining room without actually being present if I posed for a medical diagram.

You make hospital gowns look good. This guy, not so much. (image by greencollander CCbySA2.0)

It might feel funny when you realize that a two-dimensional me is gazing benevolently down upon you from the wall, with my organs exposed, while you’re sitting on the paper covered table, dressed in a hospital gown. And realizing that I had that same look on my face when you were putting that hospital gown on may intensify that funny feeling.

But I’ve been told that I radiate calm, so I’m sure that the benefit of my countenance would outweigh any awkwardness you’d feel. Just knowing that I’m there, supporting you, with my pulmonary system exposed, would probably knock three points off your blood pressure reading.

So now the wheels are in motion. Through the power of my vast readership, I expect that I will make the connections needed to become the guy on the poster. I’ll be displaying my innards on your doctor’s wall soon. When you see me, know that I did it for you.

And I did it for me, because this is one time I think it’d be cool to be that guy.



7 Comments on “My Latest Idea To Make Myself A Constant Presence In Your Life”

  1. I like to put googly eyes on those posters when I’m at the doctor’s office. So…you may have that to look forward to. 😉

  2. Doctors make me itchy….

  3. I was thinking of getting an Oma tattoo.

  4. larva225 says:

    I live in Louisiana, and everyone here is obsessed with LSU football and Tiger Stadium. My OB/GYN has one of those wall-sized murals of the stadium filled with fans. It was the strangest thing I’ve ever seen, and I’m still unsure as to how I felt having tens of thousands of people cheering for my pap smear.

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