Throw Away Your Spoons

After a weekend out-of-town with friends, neither of us were really in the mood to make dinner when we got home. Fortunately, my wife is always thinking. “We could stop and get some phở to go”, she suggested.

These are not my hands, my phở or my tablecloth. (image by jnguyen CCbySA3.0)

Ahhhh… phở, the delicious Vietnamese soup. I love that stuff and she knows it. There would be no cooking happening in our house that evening, just two happy people with big vats of broth,veggies, beef and noodles.

We’d had a good weekend. We were home, enjoying one of our favorite dishes. We had great company. OK, I had great company, but my wife had me. But with all that was right with that scene, I felt like something was off. We chatted and ate our phở, but that feeling distracted me.

Problem Identified

And then it hit me. It wasn’t our home, or my wife or the phở that didn’t seem right. There was something very basic that was interfering with my dinner. My spoon couldn’t handle the cuisine.

The right tool for the job. This would even work with Cocoa Puffs (image public domain)

The spoons most of us use are, at best, mediocre at their job. They’ve got a shallow oval bowl at the business end. It requires a feat of balance to move a loaded spoon from your plate to your mouth without losing part of your food over the side of the utensil.

Now consider the spoon they usually provide for you when you go out for Asian food. The Asian spoon’s short handle and smooth porcelain differentiate it from its western counterparts, but those things aren’t what makes it great.

The Asian spoon is superior because of its deeper bowl. The steep sides of that bowl keep your soup or your peas from dropping off the side of the utensil. It is effective and efficient.

We don’t have this particular sort of spoon at our house and that is a shame. We have the common sort of spoon that you probably have. Using this inferior utensil affected how much I enjoyed my phở. I was losing broth and vegetables over the side of the spoon; this sort of thing never happens in the restaurant because they give me a spoon that is functional, not decorative.

Problem Solved

Bye, Felicia. (image public domain)

I’m certain that this deeper spoon is the best tool for the job, no matter what that job is. I could eat ice cream with it. The Asian spoon would be perfect for breakfast cereal; I think I would get the perfect ratio of Cap’n Crunch to milk in each delicious spoon-full.

My friends, I no longer care if my spoon matches my fork. I actually never cared about that. It just never occurred to me that there was an alternative to that weak metal oval spoon I grew up with. I urge you to join me in a revolt against the inefficient spoon’s dominance at our tables

Today, while my wife is at the office, I will throw away all our teaspoons and tablespoons. By the time she gets home, we will be an entirely Asian spoon household. I hope all of you will follow my lead. Your spoon isn’t getting the job done for you. It is time. Rise up against the hegemony of the metal spoon. Don’t allow it to ruin your meals one more day. Do it for your family. They will thank you.


13 Comments on “Throw Away Your Spoons”

  1. LRose says:

    But, that is your squeezed lime, yes?

    (I really don’t want to be anywhere near your home when your wife discovers an entire collection of otherwise critically useful utensils are gone. Just try stirring a little bit of cream and sugar with a soup ladle and you’ll see that everything has its purpose in life).

  2. You could always just use a ladle.

  3. mikegee64 says:

    Hey, can I have the Woody Woodpecker spoon then?

  4. You must not have listened, love. We have an Asian spoon. It was a gift from the American School for the Deaf.

    Now back to work for me, so we can buy another full set of spoons. Or dry ice.

  5. […] (in a comment following a Blurt post about doing away with spoons): I really don’t want to be anywhere near your home when your wife discovers an entire collection […]

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