Sarcasm Is Lost On A CatPosted: May 5, 2016 Filed under: Foolishness | Tags: comedy, humor, life, postaweek, sarcasm 16 Comments
We all do things we come to regret. And in those moments of regret come moments of self-reflection.
Questions like “why did I do that?” help us learn and grow. I’m not here to enlighten you with something I learned in one of those moments. I just needed a way to get in to my topic.
In the middle of the night, I woke up thirsty. I staggered into the kitchen for some water.
It was three a.m., so the details of what happened next are a bit hazy, as if they were part of a dream. I’m certain it wasn’t a dream because there was a bottle of water on my nightstand this morning.
But as I stood in the kitchen in the early morning darkness, enjoying the first sips of my lemon seltzer water, our cat entered the room. He’s a friendly sort. Usually I am too, but apparently I’m not at that time of morning.
I spoke earlier of regret. It would be an overstatement to say that as I walked back to the bedroom I had a moment of regret. I didn’t do anything severe enough to warrant that. But there was some self-reflection.
And I was still questioning myself as I got back in bed. My wife rolled over and checked on me, so I admitted what was on my mind.
“I was just sarcastic to the cat”, I told her.
She said something like “ok” right before she went back to sleep. My wife is a woman of few words at three in the morning. I don’t think she should regret that or even have a second thought about it…and I’m not being sarcastic in saying so.
Like I said, I didn’t really do something that is worthy of regret. The cat’s English proficiency isn’t high enough that my sarcasm insulted or embarrassed him. He still likes me, as long as there is food in his bowl four times per day.
But the part of me that looks inward wonders why I’d drop sarcasm on a cat.
That part of me looks inward and it finds no answers.
Yeah, as if it needed them.
Way to have me wondering what you could have possibly said to the cat!
That’s the thing. I’m not sure. I’m pretty sure he wanted to eat, because he always does. But I was too busy questioning myself to make note of what I said, as I should’ve.
I’ll let it slide this time, but next time you pop one off to a feline, I want a full report.
Done. I’ll write myself a note.
Right? What did Boog Mrrr Powell do to deserve that, whatever it was?
Well, it was nothing he said.
My cat, on the other hand, absolutely knows when I flip some sarcasm her way. She barks at me when I do. Not a bark, bark, more like a cat’s meow version of a bark. I think it’s her being snarky back at me. We understand each other.
Boog is a pretty mellow guy. He takes sarcasm in stride.
The cat should be honored. Sarcasm is never a waste.
Once he understands sarcasm, I’m going to help him with irony.
I love that Google has placed ads for anti-psychotic drugs on your blog! Way to keep the spiders guessing!
I’m going to have to go back and look to see. Good to know they’re diagnosing remotely.
Cats are pretty intelligent. Maybe he’s seething inside and biding his time for the perfect time-frame for revenge? Just a thought.
That could be. I’ll write more if he decides to let me have it one day!