I Won’t Be Competing In The 2016 Summer Olympics
Posted: July 27, 2016 Filed under: Foolishness, Uncategorized | Tags: 2016 summer olympics, comedy, humor, postaweek, Rio, zika 5 CommentsAs the summer has progressed, I have avoided answering the question so many of you have posed. I did this, not to build suspense, but to find the best answer for all concerned.
So now I find myself at a critical decision point. Though my announcement is rather late, I want you to know that it was not made quickly or without much soul searching.
See you in 2018 (image public domain)
Because of my concerns regarding the Zika virus and the increasing likelihood that the venues will not be ready on time, I will not be competing in the upcoming Summer Olympics games in Rio.
This hasn’t been an easy decision. I considered all the training that I’ve put in, my health, the wishes of my family and information that I’ve been able to get about conditions at the competition sites. There was also the knowledge that I know so many of you were looking forward to cheering me to a medal. Knowing that I’m letting you all down is probably the hardest part of announcing this decision. I can only hope that you will appreciate how hard it was to reach this conclusion.
I wish all the athletes heading to Brazil good luck.
To all my disappointed fans, I am sorry. Please know that I will be using the two weeks of the Rio Summer games as additional training time to ensure I will be in peak condition by the time the 2018 Winter Games open in Pyeongchang, Korea – a town that I’ve always had a soft spot for.
Blurt 
Sad news , indeed ! No one knows what will happen between now and the next Olympics . Inside word is that they’ll just cancel the whole Olympics and admit it was a noble , perhaps , but a rotten idea . You , I suspect , are operating on better inside information and anticipating the collapse . Therein you are acting selfishly , I think ; but , now it’s every-man-for-himself , anyway . And , besides , Pyeonchang isn’t all it’s cracked up to be , I’ve heard . No good Mexican restaurants , for example .
Yeah, but oddly, they’ve got killer pizza and the architecture river cruise is really cool. No, wait, that’s Chicago. Never mind.
I can’t say I’m surprised. Your decisions are always the wisest. But I am disappointed. Breaking news here. I am not competing, either. I know.
What? I was looking forward to watching you. You always stick the landing.
I know. But then my mom told me not to play with sticks, and then what could I do?