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Everyone Fits Somewhere. We All Fit At The Deli.

It was a busy day. I spent the morning running writing and running errands. Hitting everything on my to do list felt great. I’d finished the list, except for the thing on it that I’d been looking forward to – lunch.

As I drove, I considered my options. Pizza was a possibility. Some really spicy Thai food would’ve hit the spot. I hadn’t had Chinese food for days. There was a great burger joint close by. And then I decided to try something completely different.

One Of These Things Is Not Like The Others

To be fair, the food was good, but maybe not this good. (image public domain)

Not far from our house, there is a little local deli that I’ve never been in. The place is in an older, interesting looking building that I’ve wanted to get a look at. It always looks busy at lunch. I took that as a good sign and gave the joint a shot. Read the rest of this entry »

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Good Stories Don’t Start With Someone Having A Salad

Every fall, I catch up with a group of my closest friends. We travel to Florida together to stimulate that state’s economy by hanging around in bars and filling up bartender’s tip jars. No, Florida, you don’t have to thank us. We do it because it is the right thing to do.

Well, we do it for a lot of other reasons too, but that’s what I’m hanging my hat on for now.

Like Many Stories, This One Doesn’t Start With Me Having A Salad

A little over four months ago, we were at it again. It was late in our week away from home, we were enjoying a band and having a good time. One of our group tossed out the question “why do we keep coming to this warm place, listening to this music and drinking beer?”. The question brought a flurry of sarcastic answers like “I don’t know, I think I’m going to fly out early” and “I’m not coming next year”.

Delicious, but not an inspiration, yet.(image by jeffreyw CCbySA 2.0

And then came the answer that stuck to me like honey mustard dressing does to the front of my shirt – “Because good stories don’t start with someone having a salad”.

I will admit that most of the stories involving this group of friends begin with us going out for drinks and end with someone doing something like wandering the halls of a hotel clad in a leopard print robe*. But I was certain that somewhere, maybe in another group of friends, there had to be a story that began with someone enjoying salad. Read the rest of this entry »


In The Shadow Of Writer’s Block, Creativity Lives

If I were writing more often, I wouldn’t have to dust as much. (public domain image – wikimedia)

I’ve written this blog for almost five years. My ability to express myself has grown over those five years. My writing delivers my message more powerfully than it did at the beginning. I read my initial drafts and they make me smile. Being creative is cool.

Of course, my regular readers might have noticed that my creativity has not flowed in quite the same way recently. When I have an idea, the words to express it just don’t come. The ideas aren’t coming either. I suppose the nice thing about the lack of ideas is that I don’t have to struggle to express myself if I’ve no point to make.

I’ve had short periods of struggle before. Those periods make me certain that I’ll pull through this somewhat longer phase. My writing will flow again.

And yet, in the midst of this Sahara-like dry spell of mine, I run across occasional oases of creativity. Read the rest of this entry »


Writers Block Versus Sign Language

I try to keep a three-post-a-week pace on Blurt. It seems like my Monday/Wednesday/Friday schedule is easy enough for me to keep. Sort of.

There are times that I’ve got topics backlogged. I’ve had as many as four posts written and waiting to go out. That’s not happening right now.

The topics are there, but I’m expressing them about as well as a South African sign language interpreter. I’m just not going to put something on the blog if I don’t like it. Ooh, there was a simile in that first sentence of the paragraph. I’m not dead yet. Read the rest of this entry »


A Writer’s Dirty Underwear Is Neither Dirty Nor Underwear

Semicolon

(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I’m back from vacation. Hope you’re all still here.

I had a great time seeing almost all the people who are on my kidney list. I saw and did so much, including having a few adventures I’ve dreamed of for a long time.

I’m back and I’m happily tired. So I’m slowly restarting the writing machine with a rambling discussion of an incomplete thought.

There was a good bit of driving and time alone on my trip. Alone time in the car provided me with a chance to sing and not have anyone ask me things like “do you know more than one note?”*

I took time between songs to solve the world’s problems and think about writing. Read the rest of this entry »


Road Trip

Greek Air Force Raytheon T-6A Texan II. Photo ...

Greek Air Force Motto: Our name is scary, but our planes are not. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I know it got quiet here. Sorry about that. I’m on a little road trip and haven’t written like I planned to.

Maybe I needed the break. For sure, I don’t need to stop.

I’m going to throw some links to old favorites up here now and again just to keep the mice from having free run of the place. My aim is to restart the machine next Wednesday to get you fresh stuff to read.

Here is your serving of leftovers for today. There are more in the fridge for later. Today’s is a salad made from mythology, juggling raw eggs and the Greek Air Force. Remember, your salad fork is the one all the way to the left of your plate.

 


Dear Spammer

A lot of bright people read Blurt. It appears that you’re part of that bright group, because here you are again. I hope that you know that I appreciate your return and your supportive comments. Because of that, I can’t say that I will be devoting an entire post to any of your comments.

However, a spammer just left a comment on a piece I wrote about candy corn back in 2010. That comment I will do a post on.

English: Candy corn, specifically Brach's cand...

What’s it all about? (Photo credit: Wikipedia, public domain)

I believe in handling unpleasantness privately, praising publicly and communicating in a format where all parties are comfortable. Since this spam was intended for publication on my blog, I’m comfortable with responding here, in public.

The Spam

Here is the spam note from someone named Maik:

What i do not realize is in reality how you are now not actually a lot more
neatly-appreciated than you may be now. You are so intelligent.
You recognize therefore considerably in terms of this subject,
produced me in my opinion consider it from a lot
of numerous angles. Its like men and women are not involved unless it is something to do with Girl gaga!

Your individual stuffs outstanding. Always take care of it up!

The Response

Dear Maik,

Thanks for recognizing that I’m under appreciated. I too, have a hard time realizing that I’m not actually as appreciated in reality as I am in my fantasy life. In that fantasy life, women swoon and men seek me out as a role model, a buddy and a mentor.

Transferring that to reality, where it belongs, doesn’t work. Because I struggle with understanding that I am not actually as appreciated as I could be, I make the mistake of shunning potential golf buddies because, hey, swooning women. Sadly, it seems that not being highly appreciated leads to minimal swooning.

If you put the fantasy versus reality thing aside, I’m intelligent. You are intelligent for recognizing that. Your intelligence eclipses the fact that you call yourself Maik when everyone else spells your name M-i-k-e. You could be better than using some pretentious misspelling of your name to garner attention. You could be, you’re just not.

Mike, a writer’s task is to move people to consider and imagine his vision. I’m thrilled to hear that you are going to consider candy corn from different angles because of what I had to say. Hearing that from your ilk makes me want to say that my work here is done. It isn’t. I’ve got more opinions, Mike. I won’t rest until you’ve read them all.

Spam, served with corn kernels

Spam, served with corn kernels (Photo credit: Wikipedia, public domain)

No, I’m not nearly finished with you, Mike. I’m not finished because despite all the effort I put into my candy corn essay, you missed the point. How dare you come here and try to compete with the wisdom of the vast Blurt readership by saying “its like men and women are not involved unless it is something to do with Girl gaga”.

It is nothing like that. You’re the only one who says it is.

It’s just candy corn. Until you understand that, you’ll stay in my spam folder, where you belong…with your friends who want to sell me designer handbags, optimize my blog for search engines or optimize me for better girl gaga.

Good day, sir.