Suing For Cream Cheese Frosting

My friends, I was wronged. For more than a week now, I’ve struggled with the shock of the deception perpetrated upon me.  I’ve told myself to put it behind myself. I can’t.

I can’t and I won’t.

On Easter, I enjoyed brunch with my wife at one of our favorite establishments. This restaurant (which I won’t name due to my intent to take legal action against everyone in the place who took part in wronging me) is a favorite of ours.

The icing carrot should be a sign that you’re getting the good stuff (image by Joe Mabel CCbySA3.0)

Easter was different than our usual visits. The food was still good. But instead of the usual menu, there was a huge buffet. And while I enjoyed the entrees and vegetables that I picked out, my mind was on the dessert table. Right in the middle of that table was a carrot cake.

I love carrot cake.

Carrot Cake Doesn’t Make Sense

Did I mention that I love carrot cake? I do. Read the rest of this entry »

The Finest Blueberry Pie There Is

Some who read my blog know my friend, John. I think those who do know him would agree on this point – we’re sad for those who don’t.

All of us agree that he is someone everyone should know, but disagree on why. Some would point out that John talks with a funny accent and that makes him wicked fun to listen to. And that would be right. Who talks like that, y’all? No one.

Others might point out his fabulous wife as a reason to know him, and I’d agree there. You could also mention his noble profession, his fine sons, his charitable deeds or his taste in music. Read the rest of this entry »

Goal Setting And The Food Network

I am a simple man. That isn’t meant to say that I’m not bright; I maintain an extensive list of people who are willing to say that about me. Please get in touch if you are interested becoming part of the list.

The point of the simple man statement is to say that it doesn’t take much to make me happy. I don’t want fancy things. I live in jeans, t-shirts, baseball caps and tennis shoes. My beloved Miata is fifteen years old. I’m quiet. If I’ve got music playing, something to write about and an English muffin with peanut butter, I’m content.

Simple, Not Dead

Chipmunk. It’s what’s for dinner. (image public domain)

But that doesn’t mean that I don’t have goals. Even a simple guy like me needs direction, something he is shooting for. I have that.

Despite my thing for English muffins with peanut butter, I love good food. I enjoy cooking, learning recipes and cooking techniques. I will binge watch cooking shows with the idea that somehow I will learn something from watching a trained chef create something out of ingredients that I never knew existed or that repulse me.

And while I occasionally pick up an idea from watching an Iron Chef whip up a couple of plates of chipmunk filet accompanied by hazelnut smoked asparagus with a raspberry and fig foam, what I’ve mostly gotten from cooking shows are goals. Read the rest of this entry »

Cooking Gumbo With Oma – A Sunday Film On Monday

Last night I did some cooking for the Super Bowl. I made a batch of my chicken and sausage gumbo. The Sunday Film Series has slowed down a bit, so I decided to made a video of the process. Why wait until next Sunday?

My latest cinematic wonder, making Chicken and Sausage Gumbo, is less than a minute:

Writing returns with the next post.

Hey, Pumpkin.

Pumpkins, photographed in Canada.

Hey Pumpkin, know your role (Image via Wikipedia)

Hey, Pumpkin. It is the time of year when you become a trendy food ingredient.

Pie. Soup. Casserole. Beer. Bread. The list of foods that you add nothing to goes on and on.

I oppose your presence in all these foods.

Stop It. You Are Not Food. You Are A Decoration.

The orange food group is quite limited. Carrots, sweet potatoes, oranges. Beyond that, there isn’t much interest. Some people would add Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups to that list. To those people, I say slow down and unwrap.   Read the rest of this entry »

The Kung Pao Exception

You might have noticed that I am big on people treating each other right. Life is too short to fool with someone who is impolite. Usually, if I find a business person unpleasant to deal with I do not patronize their establishment.

I am such a liar sometimes.

The Exception

Ding Baozhen (simplified Chinese: 丁宝桢; traditi...

Kung Pao. Best governor ever. (Image via Wikipedia)

I love Chinese food. Chinese food is one of my major food groups. I may actually be Chinese. I don’t think my parents know that. I think that they are proud I am their son and I feel certain they will accept me as their only Asian child.

My parents raised me to stand up for myself and my principles. Mom and Dad, when you read this, I hope you know that I mostly do what you taught me. There’s this exception though. The Kung Pao exception.

Where there is good Chinese food, there is room for compromise on my principles. Where the Kung Pao Chicken is exceptional, I am willing to deal with indignity and rudeness that I could never tolerate in any other arena. I can not explain this. I can’t even think of a similar exception in any part of my life. Read the rest of this entry »

Harnessing The Power Of Incidental Pork

American cuts of pork.

Apparently the tail is the inedible part (Image via Wikipedia)

I come to you today to pass on an important concept – the principle of Incidental Pork.

This principle is exceptionally useful. Properly applied, Incidental Pork will help a picky eater become less picky. It can also ease the stress of strict adherence to dietary restrictions imposed on an individual.

Enough Talk, What Is Incidental Pork?

Incidental Pork is a concept I got from a friend. The concept is based on actual pork which was incidental to the dish she was eating. Read the rest of this entry »

Truckstop Oysters. How Bad Could They Be?

Mark Sanford, governor of South Carolina

Made selling fireworks and gasoline in the same place look like a good idea (Image via Wikipedia)

Last week I drove from my home in North Carolina to Orlando, FL and back. One of the things between home and Orlando is South Carolina.

South Carolina. The state that decided there really isn’t anything wrong with selling gasoline and fireworks in the same place. The state that thought making hiking enthusiast Mark Sanford their Governor would be a good idea. The state that, on this trip, revealed to me its latest good idea – selling oysters at highway truckstops.

Truckstop oysters. Stay here and think about the horrible possibilities for a minute while I keep writing. Meet me in the next section when you’re ready.

Read the rest of this entry »