My Chat With The Star Of The Film, Argo

Ben Affleck speaking at a rally for Feed Ameri...

Not appearing in this post. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

There’s a lot of buzz about the Academy Award nominated movie Argo. I think we all know how driven I am by buzz, but this time it has driven me farther than ever. And guess who benefits? You.

You benefit because I was able to get an interview with the star of her own biographical film – the Argo Corn Maiden! Because the video is still being edited, I am providing this transcript from the raw interview footage.

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An Interview With The Man Eating Tree Of Madagascar

Get in my belly. (public domain, wikipedia)

It has been a long time since I posted an interview with a legendary creature. When I realized that, I called the Director Of The Office Of Interview Services here at the spacious Blurt World Headquarters. I was a little surprised at the attitude he took with me when I called.

“Look, if you want me booking interviews for you, you’re going to have to get someone else to do your laundry.”

At that moment, I realized something very important. If you hire someone and give them a fancy title, they get all fussy and too good to do the things you need them to do, like laundry. My next step became clear to me.

I called my Director of Human Resources and told her that from now on, grandiose titles in the Blurt organization would be reserved for me, and the Director of Human Resources.

I’m no fool. You’ve got to be tight with HR.

The now re-titled and motivated Laundry Assistant managed to find time to arrange an interview between folding my t-shirts. Here is my interview with the Man Eating Tree Of Madagascar. We hooked up online on Skype for our chat.

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Sunday Film Series – Christopher Cross’ Greatest Hit

Remember Christopher Cross? I think he was from the ’80’s, wasn’t he?

He had a hit song, Ride Like The Wind.

This isn’t about that song, it is about the other one.

Interview with Each Uisage

Each Uisge, a supernatural water horse found i...

I'm glad he didn't pose in shallower water. No one wants to see that. (Image via Wikipedia)

The Interview Staff here at the Blurt office suite took most of the summer off. This was a little unusual given that they are almost all interns. Now that college is back in session, they’ve lined up my first interview in months. The paid staff has mentioned that they thought we were not getting the top of the heap interns from the universities. The fact that they’re working for me after the semester has started may explain the low average GPA in that group.

This month, The Interview Staff lined up an interview with another legendary creature, Each Uisge. Each Uisge is, according to Wikipedia, a supernatural water horse from Scotland that is “the most dangerous water-dwelling creature in the British Isles”. My staff was not able to locate the official ranking of dangerous water-dwelling creatures in the British Isles, but if that happens, I’m feeling good about the possibility of finding Each Uisge on the top. Read the rest of this entry »

Inappropriate laughter: The job interview

Smiling for the Camera

Hyena, not laughing (Image by Susan Renee via Flickr)

I recently was remindedĀ of a horrifying event from my professional life. Actually, as I think about it, this one event should be enough to reclassify my entire portfolio of professional work as semi-professional. Read the rest of this entry »

An Interview With Nobusuma

Nobusuma, in a flying squirrel mood.

The coming of summer brings the return of interns to the spacious Blurt office suite. The staff looks forward to the arrival of the interns. It frees them up to do what they believe they were hired to do instead of things they consider less important, like going out to get me a meatball parmesan sub.

Some of the paid staff now have too much time on their hands. One made it past my receptionist and reminded me that I’d neglected the interview series recently. I was about to fire him, but then he mentioned he’d arranged for me to interview Nobusuma, a legendary creature. I thanked him for his dedication, then sent him out to have my car inspected.

Nobusuma is, as mentioned, from Japan. My net research says that Nobusuma is either a supernatural wall or a giant flying squirrel. We spoke via web cam, through an interpreter. Read the rest of this entry »

Interview with the Bishop-Fish

Advocacy groups contacted Blurt Headquarters to point out that, while I’ve talked to a creature that lives in the water in my interview series, I have not yet gotten together for a talk with a true fish.

I never really knew fish had an advocacy group. I tried pointing out that they had bigger fish to fry than dealing with a perceived slight from my little blog. I brought up the whole thing about people throwing food into the water with hooks in it, then dragging fish out by the face. They didn’t seem to want to talk about that. Maybe the bigger fish to fry opening baited their anger with me just a bit. Read the rest of this entry »

Interview with a Drop Bear

This month’s interview takes us to Australia. We’ll be sharing a discussion with one of that nation’s legendary Drop Bears.

Extensive research by the Blurt staff reveals that the Drop Bear lives in Gum Trees. Gum is Australian for eucalyptus, just as vegemite is Australian for food. These bears are a type of koala which has come to feed on humans. They strike down their prey by dropping down from the eucalyptus without warning, landing on the unsuspecting person’s head. The blow knocks their quarry unconscious, enabling the Drop Bear to kill them with its sharp claws. Read the rest of this entry »