My Japanese Beetles Come Home To Roost

It started with a text message from my work partner, Cliff – “signing Baker up for power wheelchair information was good stuff.”

The guy he’s referring to, Baker, works hard. But he always seems to be undergoing some sort of surgery. It’s never anything horrific, just normal wear and tear for an 80-year-old man. Baker is in his early thirties. So, in the dark humor of my office, sending Baker’s name in to get informational mailings about power wheelchairs is hysterical.

English: Pride Jazzy Select power chair

Pride Jazzy Select power chair (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I knew from the message that the prevailing opinion in the office was that I was responsible for sending Baker’s name in. I called Cliff and asked what happened. He laughed and described Baker’s reaction to the big glossy packets of wheelchair information he’d gotten. Then I broke the news to him. I had nothing to do with this joke.

He roared with laughter. “You are such a liar”, he said, “this must be your work”. “It isn’t, I really had nothing to do with this one” I told him. He laughed even harder, and repeated his accusation that I was a liar, with an added word that I won’t say here because my mother might read it.

Read the rest of this entry »

…but I’ve never diverted a commercial airliner.

I have done things…

A roll of glossy, grey duct tape.

I love tape. (Image via Wikipedia)


I am willing to admit that I have pulled a practical joke now and again.  

I have glued lockers shut.  

I have removed tires and left cars on jacks. Sometimes I’ve made cars disappear.  

I taped someone into their office. I taped someone out of their car. I made duct tape insoles for someone’s shoes. I taped someone to a wall. I love tape. Read the rest of this entry »