Bad Perfume: Play By Play

A few days ago, I went to get my usual work day breakfast. I held the door for a woman coming in after me and she punished me with her perfume. It was horrible. Thru the miracle of Twitter I was able to document the moment.

Since then, I’ve decided to take on that moment from a few different angles. Today, a television sports play-by-play view of me battling the most horrid smell I’ve encountered on a living person.

Jim: It’s a warm morning here outside the bagel shop, and here comes Omawarisan, just like every other morning.

Ken: Oma is the picture of consistency, Jim. Speaking of every morning, this is the morning he goes over 400 work mornings in a row ordering the same thing for breakfast.

Hall of Famer, Cal Ripken at bat, Aug 2000

Cal Ripken at bat. Some call him the Omawarisan of baseball. (Photo credit: dbking)

Jim: Inspiring! He is the Cal Ripken of breakfast. Pretzel bagel with cream cheese. You’d think he’d be bored by now.

Ken: Superstition trumps boredom. It looks like our boy is out of the car.

Jim: Yes he is, he’s headed for the door. He’s opening it…and stepped aside! Omawarisan stepped aside to let a woman pass thru the door as he held it open! Wow, his parents raised only gentlemen.

Ken: You haven’t met his brother, have you Jim? That guy is a caveman. Oma, great form there leaving plenty of room when he stepped aside. Read the rest of this entry »

Just tell the truth, Mr. Mixon.

Carolina Panthers logo

Image via Wikipedia

I don’t often write about sports, I’m making a exception here with a post to purge some frustration.

On my way home from work, I was forced to listen to the radio broadcast of the Carolina Panthers on the local station, WBT -AM. This never fails to be a miserable experience, even in a winning season.

Today, after successive awful plays by the defense that resulted in a score by the Panthers opponent, play by play hack Mick Mixon announced that the Panthers fans in attendance were in “stunned silence”.

I beg to differ, Mr Mixon. Read the rest of this entry »