Dear Flesh Eating Bacteria,
I’ve heard a lot about you recently. First you were in Georgia, now in South Carolina. You seem headed toward me.
You’ve arrived on the scene with quite a splash. I’m not usually a fan of anyone who is suddenly popular, but it seems that I should make an effort to get along with you because of your dietary preference.
Frankly, eating me would be a bit of a crap shoot for you. I hope you know how painful it is for me to use the term crap shoot to describe myself. It just seems to apply here.
As people go, I’m not exactly veal, if you know what I’m saying. I think I’d be tough and a bit stringy. Admittedly, no one knows that for sure because I’m not currently a food source for any species. I do know for sure that I am old and gnarly. Stringy is not a great leap from gnarly. I don’t know anyone that likes a stringy cut of meat.