Difficult Conversations: Dad, You Look Like Lenin

English: Trotsky, Lenin, and Kamenev (from lef...

Lenin (center) and his hat.(Photo credit: Wikipedia)

What I’m going to tell you is what I saw. I wasn’t the only person to see him; another driver paused to allow him to cross on the green light. Whether that driver identified him, I can only speculate. Perhaps they didn’t give him a second look. Maybe they thought he was just another early morning pedestrian. He wasn’t.

He was Lenin. No, not Lennon. Lenin, Vladimir Ilyich. Yes, that Lenin. Pretty much that Lenin. Read the rest of this entry »


Blowing Up The Moon – Proof We Kind Of Dug The Soviets

The Cold War. It’s been over for a while now. That’s not news to you. You’re all bright people. You know things. But today, I’m going to pass on a revelation that will change what you think you know about The Cold War.

This image was selected as a picture of the we...

Hey baby, what’s up? (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

You might want to sit down for this. Ready? The Cold War didn’t happen. Historians misread what they saw. The truth is, the United States secretly was really into the U.S.S.R. I’m serious, major international crush.

It’s a shock. Take a minute, then read on. When I lay this on you, you’re going to want to call your freshman history teacher and get that midterm exam re-graded.

The Behavior Of Thirteen Year Old Boys

Think back a few years to when you were thirteen. You either knew a lot of boys your age, or you were one.

Boys that age are a lot of noise and bluster. Rarely does the noise and bluster mean anything of significance. They haven’t learned how to express themselves in other ways. The result is a lot of bragging, early experiments with cursing, some one-upmanship and displays meant to draw attention.

Attention, that’s the thing. And whose attention does a young man of that age need most? That would be the attention of whatever young woman is the object of his affection. Because our boy doesn’t know any other way to get that attention (and warn off other suitors), we see lots of that noise and bluster when he’s near that girl.

118, 119. Whatever It Takes.

Project A119? (public domain image via wikipedia)

Do you know about Project A119? I just learned that A119 was a 1950’s U.S. Government plan to detonate an atomic bomb on the moon to intimidate the Soviets and boost the esteem of the United States. Concerns with the danger to people here on earth in case of a mission failure scrapped the plan.

Is there anything that generates more noise and bluster than an atomic bomb? Not really.

So, if we had a more reliable missile in the 1950’s, we would have detonated an atomic bomb on the moon. Then we’d have looked at Russia and said “hey, did you see that?” Russia would have said yes and we’d have been so cocky for the rest of the day.

Russia would have been impressed. When other countries like China and Finland saw our big detonation they’d have felt completely one-upped. That would make them think twice about calling and asking Russia to the dance on Friday.

The Cold War Was No War At All

The U.S. had a huge crush on the U.S.S.R.. We were so convinced the Russians hung the moon we were willing to blow it up to get their attention. The Russians kind of liked us back. Both countries were newly minted superpowers. Their developing atomic stockpiles and changing places in the world community caused them to have feelings they didn’t understand how to express.

There was a lot of yelling, drama and tears. It looked like a kind of war, but most countries at war don’t fire weapons out into space. We couldn’t shoot at each other.  Deep down, we kinda dug each other.


Trump Is Out!

Donald Trump at a press conference announcing ...

You lose, I say good day to you sir. (Image via Wikipedia)

Yesterday, my opponent made it official. He is no longer considering running for President Of The United States.

Let’s face it, for a campaign run by an unknown candidate with no budget and very little staff, things went very well for those of us involved in the Omawarisan campaign. Together, you and I drove a candidate with limitless resources and name recognition from the race for president. It only took one month and one day. I got in the race on April 15th, Trump got out on May 16th. Congratulations and thank you to all of you for this accomplishment.

As expected, he chose not to acknowledge the role of my campaign in his decision to step aside. In a move even more upsetting to me, he chose not to acknowledge the zeal and enthusiasm of my supporters. I think we’re all disappointed by that, but not surprised.

Because he chose not to mention my campaign, I am going to analyze his downfall and expose him for the failure he is.

What Went Right In The Omawarisan Campaign?

I think the thing that put us over the top in this election was the fact that I had a slogan and Donnie boy did not. My slogan…

Omawarisan 2012

He’s Not Nearly The Tool Don Is. Read the rest of this entry »


Where Dirty (Old) Snowmen Come From

Snow is a relatively infrequent visitor to my part of the U.S.. In a typical winter we will see two or three snow “storms”. The authorities will label one of these occurrences as severe. Severe translates into about two inches of snow.

The Dirty Secret

Snowman

Snowman (Photo credit: andreasmarx)

There are a lot of nice things about where I live. Unfortunately, the lack of snowfall leads to something I am not really proud of.

The Chamber Of Commerce will never tell you this, but temperate weather and light snowfall are the cause of our area’s dark secret. That secret is mentioned only in whispered conversations, and never around outsiders. I can’t allow this secret to continue to endanger people any more Read the rest of this entry »


White Christmas Killing Thousands Across The South

Snow across several southern US states, including North Carolina, has given many people their fondest wish, a White Christmas. Sadly, this White Christmas will be the last Christmas for so many.

Bing’s Song Of Starvation

WHITE CHRISTMAS

Laugh you bastard, laugh. (Image by Zellaby via Flickr)

Sentimental southerners have, for years, heard Bing Crosby and others sing of how wonderful it is to have snow on Christmas. They were lured by Bing into believing this was a good idea despite the fact that on all other days of the year, they both hate and fear frozen precipitation. Read the rest of this entry »


When I’m Rich: My All Beef Car

There will come a day when I am outrageously wealthy. I have always known that that day would have to come on a day and in a way not associated with my current career. Since I have not yet figured out how to make my written silliness pay, I don’t think today is the day I’m going to be wealthy either.

While I am waiting for my ship to come in, I have begun moving on to a topic equally important to where my vast wealth is going to come from – outrageous ways I will spend the money.

Rich People Buy Cars

Toyota Land Cruiser (BJ40LV)

Image via Wikipedia

When people hit it big, the first thing they often do is go out and buy a really sweet ride. There are a number of cars I have dreamed of having for years upon years. I’d love a Porsche 911. I would love a Jeep or maybe a really cool vintage Toyota Land Cruiser.

1970-1973 Datsun 240Z photographed in Montreal...

Image via Wikipedia

I know I’d probably go buy the Datsun 240z I have been lusting after since 1974. I know where that car is sitting right now…I just don’t know where the cash to pay for it is sitting. As soon as I hit it big, you’ll know it because that car and one other very special one will be in my driveway.

I am going to buy an Oscar Meyer Wienermobile. Read the rest of this entry »


Why Is There Stuff For WikiLeaks To Leak?

There is quite a bit of talk on the news about the matter of the WikiLeaks website revealing diplomatic secrets of the United States government.

You can probably find any number of sites that will post the question of whether that site is doing a service to us all by serving as a whistle blower on diplomatic practices or whether they are causing instability by making it harder for diplomats to operate. We all know this site is not that highbrow. Read the rest of this entry »


The Jolie Pez Project: The Jolie Sees NC State Beat Carolina In Chapel Hill

The Jolie stopped in North Carolina for a day while in transit from her soon to be published California adventure to her upcoming visit to the Washington, DC area. This visit was completely unexpected, but apparently she wanted to see The Omawari-son and the North Carolina State Marching Band play at the big football game between NC State and the University of North Carolina.

The Jolie complained the whole ride about having to pay $5 for a ride to the stadium from a satellite lot in Chapel Hill. She was starting to get on everyone’s nerves until… Read the rest of this entry »