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Trapped In My Own Body

Over the past few years, I’ve become healthier. I exercise and I make better food choices. My weight is down, I sleep well and I feel great. I’m going to live as close to forever as possible.

But I had a terrible experience this weekend.

My wife and I took a short road trip, but that wasn’t the terrible part. We checked in to a Bed and Breakfast and then walked in to town for dinner and drinks.

I Digress

Let me pause here to speak to those of you with the entrepreneurial spirit and the drive that inn-keeping requires.

This place would be a good Bed and Breakfast. It would be a better Soup and Snooze (image by AstaPro5 CCbySA4.0)

Bed and Breakfast isn’t a new idea. Everyone who lives in an old house in a quaint town has thought about opening an inn with this concept. Many of those who’ve thought about it followed through on the idea and have become successful. Places offering a good night’s sleep, followed by a breakfast of English muffins, hard-boiled eggs and orange juice are easy to find.

If you want to open an inn with a fresh idea, consider serving dinner instead of breakfast.

The place my wife and I stayed was really nice, but we were there five minutes before we were on our way somewhere else for supper. If we were staying at a Dinner and Doze or a Soup and Snooze we’d have been happier and the innkeeper could have slept late the next morning.

But I digress…

A Lot More Than Forty Winks

After dinner and some wine, we headed back to the inn. We knew we needed to get plenty of rest so we’d be ready for our breakfast. And I slipped in to a deep sleep as soon as I hit the pillow. I slept. I had dreams. The dreams weren’t exceptional, but the sleep was. I’m pretty sure I was in a coma.

The Sahara is under served by the Bed and Breakfast industry. (image public domain)

A few hours or minutes later, it was hard to know how long with my eyes closed, I realized that I was thirsty. This was a powerful thirst…like I’d spent the day in the Sahara, which I knew I hadn’t because the Sahara is the one market the Bed and Breakfast concept has not penetrated. I was so incredibly thirsty that I knew it in my sleep.

I knew it in my sleep, but I could do nothing about my thirst. I was conscious, but not awake. Just a few steps away there were two bottles of water in the mini-fridge. I thought about how refreshingly cold they were, but I couldn’t shake off enough sleep to get up and take those steps toward hydration.

As my mind willed my body to get up and get us some water, my body refused to co-operate. I was asleep, angry and confused. Why couldn’t I get myself some water?

Hope Gets Back In Bed And Goes To Sleep

A few hours or minutes later, I heard my wife get out of bed. She’s always helpful. I decided I’d ask her to get me the water I desperately needed. But again, my sleeping body wouldn’t cooperate with my conscious mind to let her know that I was withering away there in bed and she was my only hope.

Soon, she was back in bed, asleep and oblivious to my plight. I drifted in and out of consciousness for the next few hours or minutes, it was hard to know how long with my eyes closed. Each time my mind woke, I urged my body to retrieve that bottle of water and save myself, but it never happened.

Not until morning.

I Snap Out Of It

The sun streamed in to the room and brought me out of my vegetative state. I jumped out of bed, yanked the mini-fridge open and was chugging a bottle of water when my wife woke up. She gave me a puzzled look that I didn’t respond to until I finished the bottle.

“I was in a coma, you wouldn’t give me any water.”

“You didn’t look any different”, she said.

“I was near death from thirst. I couldn’t wake up to get water.”

“Take a shower, I’ll take you downstairs for a glass of orange juice.”

In retrospect, it was probably better that we were in a Bed and Breakfast. They don’t have orange juice at the Soup and Snooze. I may not have survived my dehydrating coma if we’d have spent the night at a Dinner and Doze or, heaven forbid, a Supper and Siesta.

I’m glad I was healthy enough to endure it.

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10 Comments on “Trapped In My Own Body”

  1. PigLove says:

    Oh you poor thing. To be in such a vegetative state without being able to move. I have felt your pain. My pot belly has rumbled in the middle of the night and I have not been able to wake from slumber to rectify that small problem. It’s a horrible feeling. Now about that Dinner and Doze… I could go for that! XOXO – Bacon

    • omawarisan says:

      Right! You knew what the problem was and how to fix it, but couldn’t. Isn’t it awful?

      • PigLove says:

        YES! It’s such a weird state to be in. Perhaps I could train my pet rocks here that share my bedroom to pick up on these dream ‘vibes’ so they could save me in future episodes. It’s worth a shot, right? Snorts and oinks. XOXO – Bacon

  2. I think a fiesta and siesta would be nice as well. Glad you are now hydrated.

  3. Mike says:

    I think these types of dreams are relatively common. I often dream that I’m suffocating. I get to the point of just opening my eyes and realize it’s my wife firmly holding a pillow over my face… again. So I go back to sleep.

  4. This sort of thing happens to me a lot. Sometimes I dream I have to go to the bathroom. I am somehow asleep and dreaming, yet consciously aware of the fact that my physical sleeping self really does need to get up and go to the bathroom, but I just can’t wake myself up to do so. So I just pee the bed. It always seems like a great idea at the time, but when I wake up for real and find my predicament I’m always…(wait for it.)… very pissed at myself.

    • omawarisan says:

      Sleep ideas are always bad. Our subconscious is suppressed for a reason. I’ve thought up some really bad recipes. Fortunately I haven’t had your idea…yet.


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