The time has come for you to go now.

Sometimes people and ideas over stay their welcome. They have to be told to go.

Geico Caveman, Flo the Progressive Insurance Woman, and Erin E-Surance. It is time to go.

Oh, you don't have much of an appetite?!? Well I don't have an appetite for your thin skinned attitude you semi evolved priss!

Caveman. Look, the initial idea was funny. Now…not so much. Now you just come across as a petulant, temperamental jerk.

The supposed frenzy about you even lead to a television show. How did that work out? Not all that well. Perhaps its because it wasn’t that funny after the second time they went to the well for jokes about you.

We moved on without you before. We need to do it again.

You see, here’s the thing. There was this whole evolution thing that went on. Why did we evolve away from people like you? Because you weren’t all that bright, among other things. So things would, by necessity, have to be easy for you to do them.

Things are not easy, Caveman. It isn’t easy seeing you on TV night after night either. Time to go sir.

Flo, enough. I'm sorry.

Flo. She’s all helpful. She’s always at work. She gives people discounts.

She has to go.

Now I know Flo is an actress. Apparently a fairly accomplished one. This is probably a pretty decent pay day for her.

Flo, there will be other roles. Other commercials. Maybe a sitcom. But this role, it’s just too quirky, too odd and too omnipresent. It is time for you to leave.

In addition, I noticed on your IMDB page that you had a role on the Caveman TV show. I’m sure you know this takes away from the amount of  sympathy I can muster.

Finally, Erin Esurance. Go.

That will be all ma'am. Back to the inkwell

You’ve been stringing along that cartoon guy in the commercials with you since you were first drawn. That’s not right. Let the man know he has no shot and let him move on.

While I’m at it,  lets talk about the commercial where the guy uses a machine to turn himself into a cartoon to hang around with you. Why? We all know you were responsible for that, the machine itself was a cartoon. Can’t you be satisfied with men from your own dimension? What will it take?

Caveman, Flo, Erin, let me explain it to you this way. Sometimes a little kid tells a joke and gets a laugh. So he tells it again and gets another. Again and another laugh, albeit smaller. Each retelling gets a smaller laugh until someone finally says ” OK, that’s enough. Don’t wear it out.

It’s too late in your cases. It is worn out.

Good day to you.

A quick, related story from while I was writing this post. My wife wandered by and asked me what I was writing about. I explained it to her while I was starting to look for a picture of the Esurance woman. The first picture that came up was a drawing of Erin Esurance, nude. People are very odd.

Me: Whoa! Did you see that?

Mrs. O: Yeah, disturbing.

Me: Don’t think I’ll use that one.

Mrs. O (with a grin): God, what must her parents think?

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